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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23275987">Soft Cover - A Collection of Elsanna Fanworks</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryfon_spanish_werewolf/pseuds/gryfon_spanish_werewolf'>gryfon_spanish_werewolf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Frozen (Disney Movies), Frozen - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Alternate Universe - Bloodborne Fusion, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark Souls Fusion, ArtStudent!Anna, Artorias!Anna, Bastard!Anna, Blood and Injury, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, College AU, CuddleExpert!Elsa, Dark Souls (Video Game) References, Dating, Elsanna (incest), Elsanna - Freeform, Explicit Language, F/F, Fire Genasi!Anna, Gen, Human!Olaf, IceCreature!Elsa, Inspired by Bloodborne, Inspired by Dark Souls (Video Game), Lady Maria!Anna, Married Couple, Married Life, Modern AU, MusicStudent!Elsa, Mythical Creature AU, Olaf is a cat, Older Sibling!Anna, OlderSibling!Elsa, Other, Post-Frozen 2 (2019), Post-Frozen 2 Alternate Ending, Sif!Elsa, Soulsborne!Frozen Crossover, Vampire AU, Younger Sister!Elsa, Youtube!Au, but this is 99.999999 percent FLUFF, kristoff - Freeform, radiohost!Elsa, silly prompt is silly, snow sisters, soldier!Anna, tshirtprinter!Anna, unnamedmale OC, vampire!Anna</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:00:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>42,013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23275987</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryfon_spanish_werewolf/pseuds/gryfon_spanish_werewolf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of the Frozen/Elsanna short stories I've written based on prompts or wandering musings</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anna &amp; Elsa, Anna/Elsa (Disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Catch Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This will eventually become a collection of the short stories I've written and will write for the Frozen/Elsanna fandom that I haven't gotten around to posting. Tags will be added as they become relevant and ratings will change based on content as well. I'll be sure to provide context for each story, or at least what inspired them. But for now, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three word prompt from <a href="https://daughterofhel.tumblr.com/">daughterofhel</a> on tumblr: Gelato-machine, pinecone, airpod. Also the meme was inevitable and I have no regrets</p>
<hr/><p>Anna didn’t really know how Elsa was managing it, but watching her sister scale the pine tree in the backyard really should have been on her bucket list, and Anna was regretting not being able to cross it off officially.</p><p>It was a hot summer day and their kitten Olaf had gotten out of the house, following a bird that had flown to the top of the tree. Olaf had spent the next fifteen minutes mewling and meowling at the top of his tiny lungs, stuck and frightened, until Anna had heard him and they’d leapt into action. Anna had volunteered to go get him of course, but Elsa had patted her shoulder, rolled up her sleeves, and set to climbing.</p><p>She was about six feet up when Anna recovered the use of her voice to say, “Are you crazy? You’ve never climbed anything in your life!”</p><p>“Yes I have,” Elsa tossed over her arm, searching for her next handhold. “I climbed all fifty stories of the North Mountain Hotel for that charity fund.”</p><p>“This is <em> not </em> the same thing!”</p><p>“I’ll be fine Anna,” Elsa hiked herself up another couple of inches, feathering the ground with dead pine needles. “Besides, who else is going to make the gelato? Me? It always tastes better when you make it.”</p><p>So here Anna was, in the kitchen of their shared home, prepping a frozen treat for a wonderful sunny day, watching a blonde head rise up, up, up in a canopy of green and brown. Occasionally there’d be another deluge of needles or the clatter of pinecones bouncing between branches, but shockingly, Elsa was making good progress. Little Olaf had stopped crying and was curled up into a quivering white ball.</p><p>“Poor little guy,” Anna said, putting the last of the ingredients into the gelato maker and flicking the switch. “I’ll have to let him have a little spoonful when this is ready.” She knew Elsa would chide her and say Olaf shouldn’t get any because he ran out of the house, but Anna also knew that underneath Elsa’s stern exterior was a massive softie. A softie who would almost certainly sneak Olaf a bite even after a lecture.</p><p>A buzz had Anna patting her back pocket for her phone, but she had no new messages. Another buzz came, this time Anna found Elsa’s phone abandoned on the counter. Just an email, but something else did catch Anna’s eye. The phone was playing music.</p><p>Curious.</p><p>It wasn’t coming out of the speakers, that much was obvious. Maybe it was connected to one of the various bluetooth devices in the house. Elsa liked to listen to music in her office and a few months ago they’d installed speakers in the living room for karaoke nights.</p><p>Anna grabbed the phone off the counter, walking out the screen door to ask Elsa about it.</p><p>Her question died in her throat.</p><p>Elsa had reached Olaf and was in the middle of extending her hand out to him. She was leaning precariously away from the tree, trying to coax him closer, but that’s not what made Anna’s mouth dry out in heart palpitating fear.</p><p>Elsa was high, so high that the branches had started to thin out and thin down. The one she’d chosen to plant her feet on was bending way too far, and Anna did <em> not </em> like the sounds it was making.</p><p>Anna cupped her hands over her mouth. “Elsa!” No response. “Elsa, move your feet!” Olaf looked down at the sound of her voice, but Anna could read Elsa’s lips as she reached out even further to regain Olaf’s attention.</p><p>‘Almost... there.’</p><p>Panic rose in Anna’s chest. Why wasn’t Elsa listening to her? She watched Elsa retract her hand just long enough to move a piece of hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. Anna squinted. Then she looked at the phone in her hand, the one still playing music without sound.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Anna whispered. “She’s wearing airpods.”</p><p>
  <em> CRACK. </em>
</p><p>It all happened in a few seconds. The branch snapped, Elsa fell, eyes wide with surprise as the sudden onslaught of gravity made her weightless. Anna’s feet pounded the earth, bringing her to the base of the tree just in time to catch her sister.</p><p>But physics is a fickle mistress and both women had plenty of momentum.</p><p>Anna’s knees buckled at the sudden weight in her arms and she and Elsa rolled forward, coming to a decisive and loud stop when they crashed against their neighbor’s fence. Anna was upside down, feet above her head, Elsa splayed across her middle, limbs everywhere, both of them breathing heavily and staring up at the sky.</p><p>“Wow,” Anna managed after a few minutes. “Those memes are not as funny in real life.” She looked down at Elsa, who was staring at her oddly, but that’s not what made Anna bust out laughing.</p><p>Elsa’s hair was a <em> mess </em>. Pine needles stuck out this way and that, knotted in her bangs and making her braid look like a porcupine. Patches of hair were absolutely slathered in sap and dotted with chips of bark. She had scratches everywhere: her face, her arms, her legs, there was hardly a single inch spared.</p><p>She was completely undignified and it was sending Anna into mild hysterics.</p><p>“Oh my god my <em> ribs </em>,” Anna wheezed, slapping the ground as she howled with laughter.</p><p>“<em> Your </em> ribs,” Elsa griped, picking needles out of her hair and flicking them at Anna’s face. “ <em> I’m </em> the one who fell out of a tree. My back is going to be so sore tomorrow.”</p><p>“Well I practically got my arms ripped off catching you, so I think we’re even,” Anna winced, slowly regaining control of herself. “Jeez you’re heavy, get off me.”</p><p>There was a small sound behind Anna’s head that stopped both of them. Anna craned her head back and Elsa propped herself up on an elbow, digging into Anna’s hip.</p><p>Olaf mewed again, tottering on baby kitten legs up to Anna’s forehead and giving it a quick tap with his paw. Anna beamed.</p><p>“Hey little guy!” She curled a finger under his chin, feeling his little purrs. Then she frowned. “Wait, does that mean he-”</p><p>“Climbed down by himself,” Elsa groaned, leaning back and putting all of her weight on Anna again, whose protests were ignored. “I feel so stupid.”</p><p>“Stupid for climbing a tree with no experience, or stupid for doing that <em> while </em> wearing airpods?”</p><p>Elsa dug the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. Anna patted her shoulder. “It was a noble gesture. I’m sure Olaf felt much braver seeing you come to get him.”</p><p>As if to confirm her words, Olaf jumped up on Elsa’s chest and buried his head into her shirt. Elsa scratched him behind his ear.</p><p>Anna went to do the same but her hand came away sticky from Elsa’s shoulder. “Uh oh, the sap is starting to harden.”</p><p>“Well, I think this outfit is ruined anyway,” Elsa sighed. “At least there’s gelato to look forward to.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s great and all,” Anna grunted, “but I’m starting to not be able to feel my legs, so if you could get off so that I could enjoy some of that sweet, delicious, frozen goodness, I would appreciate it.”</p>
<hr/><p>A detangling of appendages, two generous portions of gelato (and a little for Olaf), and an <em> hour </em> of hair brushing later, Elsa was finally back to normal and Anna was ready for the day to be over. They’d checked all the doors and windows of the house to make sure Olaf couldn’t get out again and had met back in their bedroom. No point in changing into a new pair of clothes if they weren’t going out, Elsa had said, so might as well make it pajamas.</p><p>Anna watched Elsa examine her shirt, frown pulling at her brows as her fingers wormed their way through yet another hole.</p><p>“I really liked this shirt,” Elsa pouted.</p><p>“I can get you another one.” Anna walked forward, putting her hand over Elsa’s to stop her picking.</p><p>“But I’ve worn this one to <em> perfect </em> softness.” Anna acquiesced with a shrug of her shoulders and a nod. That <em> was </em> harder to replace, but she was confident they could find another. Right now though she was a little distracted.</p><p>“We got this visiting that forest preserve up north, remember?” Elsa stretched the shirt down, extending the printed design. It was a snowflake of sorts, four sharp diamonds arranged around a spiked star center. It had come with a passionate tale from the tour guide about an ancient wrong being righted by an act of good faith, spiced up with tales of spirits and natural disasters. “The forest was so beautiful in the fall, all orange and red. And the air was so crisp and clean, every lungful was refreshing.” Elsa bounced her eyebrows. “It was pretty romantic, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Uh huh,” Anna replied unhelpfully. She’d been unable to put her finger on what was different when Elsa had walked into the room, but now that Elsa had mentioned the forest, it clicked.</p><p>Anna sniffed appreciatively. “Mmmmm, you smell good.”</p><p>Elsa scoffed, pulling her shirt over her head. “I smell like a tree.”</p><p>“No,” Anna pressed herself close, burying her face into the side of Elsa’s neck, breathing deep. She walked her fingertips over Elsa’s now bare abdomen. “I mean you smell <em> good </em>.”</p><p>“Oh.” Anna smiled against Elsa’s skin - at how her throat bobbed when she swallowed, at how her sister’s skin flushed red hot.</p><p>Elsa coughed to recover. “Maybe I should fall out of trees more often. Or light a candle if this is all it takes.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t say that to your rescuer,” Anna admonished, pulling back.</p><p>“You’re right,” Elsa huffed, but the way she looked at Anna was gentle. “What would I do without you?”</p><p>“You’ll always have me.”</p><p>Elsa smiled and pressed her forehead against Anna’s, bringing that smell of pine back, filling Anna’s lungs. Anna's eyes darted down to Elsa’s lips.</p><p>“And if you don’t mind,” she said, hooking her fingers through the belt loops in Elsa’s shorts. “<em> I’d </em> like to have <em> you </em>, please.”</p><p>“Now?”</p><p>“Right now.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Full Stream Ahead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Inspired by an elsannafervor ask about whether Anna swears while streaming.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Inspired by an <a href="https://elsannafervor.tumblr.com/post/140130158687/youtube-sisters-au-okay-honest-question-does"> elsannafervor ask </a> about whether Anna swears while streaming. For more info on the <a href="https://elsannafervor.tumblr.com/tagged/au%3A-full-stream-ahead"> youtube!elsanna au </a>, check out the blog! Title taken from the tag used for the au.</p>
<hr/>
<p>You watch as Anna-controlled-Mario plummets from the sky, trademark death music almost lost under one of the redhead’s modified explicatives.</p>
<p>“CRAAAaaaabby-patties.” Anna stares at the camera. “Crabby patties, you guys didn’t tell me this was so hard! I'mma beat it though,” she says, smiling as the level starts over, “I'mma beat it for all of our adoring fans.”</p>
<p>You’re still wondering if Anna realized she said ‘our’ instead of ‘my’ when Elsa walks into the room. Or rather, she must have because it’s the only thing that makes Anna’s eyes light up like that.</p>
<p>You get your answer a second later.</p>
<p>“Hey Elsa! Thought you weren’t coming back 'til late.” Mario makes his way across the level at a distinctly slower pace, not that it matters. It’s no secret that the most enjoyable parts of the videos are when the sisters interact.</p>
<p>“I thought so too but I finished early.” Elsa’s torso comes into view, purse looped on her elbow, white blouse and black pencil skirt telling you she’s literally just walked through the door. “How’s it going?”</p>
<p>“Going great! I’m three levels past where I was in the last video, which is pretty good progress considering it's me we’re talking about.” Anna looks back at the camera. “Oh, for those of you who don’t know, though how could you not cuz she’s here all the time, but just in case I’ve got some new fans,” she winks,“ this is my sister, Elsa.”</p>
<p>Elsa leans down, putting her face in view. She smiles and waves. “Hello everyone!”</p>
<p>You smile back.</p>
<p>“Elsa plays games too if any of you are interested,” Anna continues. “Be sure to check the description below or click on her wonderful face,” she waves a hand in the general vicinity of Elsa, a box appearing on your screen that will direct you to Elsa’s page. Back to her game, Anna sticks out her tongue, concentrating as she makes a quick and rather skilled maneuver on screen.</p>
<p>“Good one,” Elsa says, patting Anna on the shoulder. Anna shoots her a grin, leaning in when Elsa kisses her temple. “I’m going to get dinner started. You all take care of her okay?” She points to the camera, at you. You sit up a bit taller. “Don’t let her start any fires.”</p>
<p>Anna laughs, jumping from platform to platform. Elsa lingers for a few more seconds as Anna begins commentating on level construction and so on, getting back into the zone.</p>
<p>The video cuts randomly and suddenly Elsa is seated next to Anna on the couch, eating homemade fried rice and potato pancakes. “Jump,” she says fiercely, clutching her chopsticks so hard it looks like they’ll snap. “Jump, slide, slide again, wait! Okay jump, jump again…” Anna follows her word for word, muttering quiet ‘yes's’ after each successful move. “C'mon, just a little bit– <em> No </em>!” Elsa sits bolt upright, eyes wide with panic. Thankfully the fireball that would have ended Anna’s run was a few pixels slower than they’d thought. You watch them both sag with relief. “Shi– uh,” Elsa glances awkwardly at the camera, “snickerdoodle, I thought you were a gonner.”</p>
<p>“Same,” Anna says, readying her next move.</p>
<p>As the level continues, Elsa feeds Anna mouthfuls of food, giving suggestions and adding her thoughtful comments to the video. Eventually Mario enters the castle while Anna and Elsa fist pump and high five.</p>
<p>“Sorry about that cut back there,” Anna explains. “I didn’t want to submit you to my terrible failures.” You smirk. Not that she was a bad player by any means, but Anna was a bit notorious for getting stuck. You know for a fact that Elsa’s cuts are usually due to her over analyzing instead of actually doing. “Humorous as they may be,” Anna was still talking on screen, “I was stuck for a long time. Good thing Elsa was here. She’s really good at seeing patterns.” Anna accepts another bite, chewing happily.</p>
<p>Elsa snickers. “You’d have gotten it eventually.” Anna rolls her eyes.</p>
<p>“She’s not very good at taking compliments.” Anna tells her audience. “Which is exactly why you should do that in the comments.”</p>
<p>“Anna no!” Elsa blushes, embarrassed.</p>
<p>“Oh okay, they won’t, right everyone?” Anna nods, then shakes her head, then nods again. Elsa sighs good naturedly as she gets up, maybe to set her dishes in the kitchen based on where Anna was looking. “Okay guys but for real,” Anna leans in, whispering conspiratorially. “Flood the comments section. Elsa’s actually really good at these she’d just never admit– <em> oof </em>!”</p>
<p>A pillow from off screen hits Anna in the side of the head. “I can still hear you,” Elsa shouts, muffled by distance but not for long. Anna has only just recovered when she must see Elsa coming. She starts talking very quickly.</p>
<p>“Uh! Thanks everyone one so much for watching. Shout out to whywonttheykissalready69 for the suggestion, great game. We’ll see you next t– Elsa no! Oh my g–oodness! No please, <em> have mercy </em>!”</p>
<p>Amid more pleas and thrashing limbs, you watch, smile a permanent feature, as Elsa tickles Anna while she tries to finish her outtro. The closing music has already begun and the video ends with Anna shrieking with laughter. As a dutiful fan, you scroll down to the comments section to compliment Elsa. She really does deserve it, you think, typing your response. Elsa brings out the best sides of Anna.</p>
<p>You hit enter, checking with mild interest at the other comments. One catches your eye, an unfamiliar username who wrote, “You girls are so cute, I love watching your videos! Great chemistry, #married.”</p>
<p>This isn’t uncommon and you guess that either they weren’t paying attention or they’re new.</p>
<p>Either way, you decide not to correct them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Kiss Deprived</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Confessions are hard, love is scary. But sometimes you have to take risks.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Elsa?”</p>
<p>“Mm?” Elsa turned her head, a fretting frown on her face. She had never seen Anna look so out of place. She was tapping her knuckles together and staring at them, as though they held some strange fancy.</p>
<p>“Do you ever think about what it’s like to be in love?”</p>
<p>Elsa’s jaw dropped but she quickly reigned it in. She didn’t want Anna to think she wasn’t taking her seriously.</p>
<p>It was just… unexpected.</p>
<p>She gathered her thoughts. “Not often, no. But when I do,” Elsa continued, seeing Anna wilt, “it’s full of warmth and happiness. And a little bit of fear.”</p>
<p>“Why fear?” Anna held so much concern in her gaze Elsa almost smiled. Almost.</p>
<p>“There’s so much unknown,” she said softly. “What the future will hold, who it will be with, if I’ll be enough.” Elsa looked away, holding herself. “Whether they love you back.”</p>
<p>Anna, bright girl that she was, asked, “Is there someone you love and you don’t know if they feel the same?” A split second of hesitation gave way to a nod. Appearing to forget her trepidation, Anna put a hand on Elsa’s knee. “If they were here and you weren’t afraid, what would you say?”</p>
<p>Elsa gazed into Anna’s eyes, weighing, hoping, praying.</p>
<p>“Can I kiss you?” She heard herself say. Anna’s eyes changed and softened.</p>
<p>“Do you ever wonder if they’re too afraid to ask you, too?” Anna was close, breath ghosting over Elsa’s face, making it tingle and raising goosebumps down her spine.  “That their love for you scares them more than anything else?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Elsa whispered, aware of Anna’s arm slipping under hers and her own body leaning back to accept more of Anna’s presence. She felt Anna’s smile more than she saw it.</p>
<p>“And if the answer was yes,” Anna murmured,  “What would you do?”</p>
<p>Elsa’s heart lurched in her chest. Hands just barely shaking she cupped Anna’s face, grin more prominent than ever. With this she found the courage to close the gap. Soft and tender, warm and happy. Anna couldn’t stop smiling. When Elsa thought her heart would burst from so much love –so much terrifying love– she pulled away, her hands on Anna’s shoulders, keeping them close.</p>
<p>“That,” she breathed, euphoric at Anna’s heavy lidded gaze. “I’d do something like that.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written for a friend feeling VERY kiss deprived</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Music, Media, and More?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>MusicStudent!Elsa, FilmStudent!Anna. In college they worked together really well, but now they've graduated and moved on. But maybe not as far as they'd thought.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspired by elsannafervor ask of the same subject, the full prompt was: </p><p>Student film AU: Anna's a film student working on her senior project and Elsa's the music student she found to write the score. It started out as a working relationship (they both need to complete a major project to graduate), but it turns out they work really well with each other, and neither is sure how to broach the topic of maybe working together again in the future.<br/>— Asked by  Anonymous </p><p>If they’d met sooner, the obvious solution would be to point at the As the project gets them and ask if, maybe, possibly, more of those might be of interest.<br/>Except they’re graduating, and who knows who is going to end up where, and maybe they should be working on expanding their contacts, not just sticking to someone who feels so comfortable and right (as a work-related partner), and–and they could do such amazing things together.</p><p>Elsa’s the first one to realize that the project being over did not magically erase Anna’s contact information from her smartphone.</p><p>Anna’s the first one to call.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[<a href="https://elsannafervor.tumblr.com/search/student+film+au">Original Prompt</a>]</p>
<hr/><p>Elsa misses the button three times because her heart’s beating so quickly.</p><p>“Hello?” She swallowed, voice a little too high.</p><p>“Hey, Elsa! What’s up?”</p><p>Elsa smiles. Anna sounds just as cheery as ever. “Um, not much.” A lie, but a small one. She was only on break for another minute. “What about you?”</p><p>“Same old same old.” She can practically hear the shrug. “I know this is short notice and all so I totally understand if you’re busy–”</p><p>“It’s fine Anna,” Elsa interrupts gently. Not like she wants to go back to stocking shelves and listening to nagging customers anyway.</p><p>“Oh,” Anna seems surprised. “Okay, well, uh… How’s post-grad treating you? Get that internship you wanted?”</p><p>Elsa exhales heavily, closing her eyes. “No. No I didn’t. I got stuck job searching for months until I landed a dead-end retail job.” Her lip curls. “At least it pays the bills.”</p><p>“Aw man, I’m sorry Els.” A trill of giddiness runs from Elsa’s head to her toes. Anna wasn’t the first to use that nickname, but she as the only one who’d been allowed to continue. “You were really looking forward to it.”</p><p>“Yeah, but it’s okay. Still plenty of opportunities.”</p><p>“Yeah, exactly.” Elsa assumes this was an attempt at reassurance but they both know how hard it is. Still, she was grateful Anna was trying.</p><p>“But what about you? Anything ever pan out for you?”</p><p>Anna’s groan came across as static. “No, not that that’s surprising. You know I’m more off the cuff. I moved back in with my parents and got a retail job at the Target off Chester Street. It sucks but it’s the best I could do.”</p><p>“Wait, Chester Street? Where we got all those supplies for the senior video project we worked on?”</p><p>“Yeah that’s the one!” Anna’s excitement drops. “You probably moved back to Norway though huh. For the best, the economy is shit here anyway, what with all the–” Sudden movement distracts Elsa enough to look up. Her boss is staring grimly at her, tapping his watch. She was way over time. Elsa points to her phone and mouths ‘emergency’ with a hitch of her shoulders. Her boss purses his lips and glowers at her before leaving. “–ince your music is so amazing people should really be lining up for you.”</p><p>“Uh huh,” Elsa responds, hoping to convey she’d been listening the whole time. “But wait-wait, you’re telling me you’re still close to campus?”</p><p>“Uh, yes.” Anna replies, inflection indicating she was confused. “I told you I live nearby right, and that the only reason I didn’t commute was because my parents wanted me to have ‘a true undergraduate experience’?”</p><p>Elsa is grinning like a fool. “You might have mentioned it. Sorry, I’d forgotten.” She plows past Anna’s preparatory breath to forgive her. “But no, I haven’t moved back to Norway. I got an apartment in the city with Kristoff – you remember him, my carpenter friend who helped with the set? He’s been helping me pay rent and we live a thirty minute train ride away from that Target!”</p><p>“Shut up! No way,” Anna yells, forcing the phone away from Elsa’s ear. “That’s unbelievable!”</p><p>“Well it’s true,” Elsa laughs. “You should come over sometime.”</p><p>“R-Really?” Anna sounds shocked. “You– I mean, I’d like to, if I could. If that’s okay with you.”</p><p>“Of course it’s okay, I invited you.” A pleasant buzzing has settled in Elsa’s stomach. She doesn’t even know where those words came from. They certainly hadn’t been there during her senior year when she and Anna had had their heads together, faces lit by the piercing blue light of their laptops as they edited and reviewed and composed, each in their own special way. They’d only sparked after, when being around a mind as creative as her own (but in such a magnificently different way) had kept her awake to stare at the ceiling long into the night. No, they hadn’t been there yet, but they were out now and moving. She would see Anna again.</p><p>Anna was planning her route out loud, something involving bikes and trains and tickets. She pauses, “What day is best for you? I don’t work weekends but I don’t know your schedule, or even what you’re doing.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Elsa assures her. “I’ll make dinner and we’ll have plenty of time to catch up. Does five o’clock this Saturday sound good?”</p><p>“Sounds great! Just make sure to text me your address after this call.”</p><p>“It’s a date then,” Elsa teases, letting herself wish.</p><p>“Yeah,” Anna laughs, the quiet fluttering kind when a chord has been struck unknowingly. “Yeah it is.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Counting Shoulders</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>*insert Donkey's 'Hold her, Squeeze her, try a little TENDERNESS' speech here* Anna's in love with Elsa, Elsa's in love with Anna, and Kristoff just wants /one/ of them to make a move before he dies of old age.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <a href="http://gryfon-spanish-werewolf.tumblr.com/post/133578167530">Based off this gifset</a>
</p><hr/><p>Anna sipped her chocolate milkshake, thoughts as swirled as her straw. Elsa sat to her right in the booth, elbow on the table and a hand under her chin, gazing out the window. Anna didn’t need to see her face to know Elsa was watching the snowfall with that signature soft smile. The one that made Anna’s heart race when she realized she wanted to be the cause instead.</p><p>Her phone buzzed in her pocket. A text from Kristoff.</p><p>
  <em> It’s been 20 minutes and you haven’t made a move. </em>
</p><p>Anna looked up, shooting a frosty look at her best friend sitting at the end of the aisle. Kristoff dipped his head and spread his fingers, eyebrows saying, “Well?”</p><p>
  <em> I’m gonna. Just. Gimme a second. </em>
</p><p>Kristoff checked the message then his invisible watch. Anna rolled her eyes. Her phone buzzed again.</p><p><em> Look you like this girl right? </em> Another came before she could reply. <em> Don’t make me send a Shia Labeouf gif. </em></p><p>Anna inhaled sharply. Her fingers hovered over,<em> You wouldn’t, </em> but she realized that, yes, he would. Her shoulders slumped. Then she sat up, puffing out her chest. Where was feisty, take-no-shit Anna? Punching assholes off a cliff probably, but she was needed here, now.</p><p>A subtle movement brought her attention back to Kristoff. He kept moving his hand across his chest and out away from him. Anna narrowed her eyes. What was he–? <em> Oh</em>.</p><p>“You have got to be kidding me,” she muttered under her breath.</p><p>“Is everything okay?”</p><p>Anna immediately shoved her phone back in her pocket. “Me? Oh yeah, everything’s cool. Nothing wrong, we’re totally… totally good.”</p><p>“Well, good,” Elsa laughed, shaking her head. Anna tried not to let her heart burst out of her chest. God, even the smallest <em> thing </em>.</p><p>“Hey Elsa?” She turned back to Anna expectantly, eyes innocently curious. “I was thinking, like, I’ve seen this done a few other places and thought, maybe, you’d enjoy doing it. And so I think we should do it.”</p><p>“<em>Okay </em>,” Elsa replied slowly. “What is it?”</p><p>“Do you want to count shoulders?”</p><p>This was clearly not what Elsa had been expecting. “Um, yeah sure–”</p><p>“1, 2, 3, 4.”</p><p>Elsa stared openly, jaw somewhere in the vicinity of the floor. An arm sat comfortably across her shoulders, it’s owner trying desperately to control the blush dousing the freckles across her nose.</p><p>Elsa put a hand over her eyes. “Oh my god,” she wheezed, quite unable to believe what had just happened. “You.” The hand on her right shoulder lifted slightly, but before it could retreat Elsa covered it with her own. She met uncertain turquoise eyes with mirthful blue.</p><p>“You’re such a dork,” she said, leaning in. </p><p>Anna’s tiny gasp was lost to a signature soft smile.</p><p>-----------</p><p>Bonus: Kristoff sends her a photo two hours later of them kissing. “Lock screen pic. You’re welcome.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fluffy idea after a hard day, used linked gif as reference</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Cuddle Corner (Part 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Cuddle Corner has the perfect name for what they provide: a risk and judgement free zone of one-on-one cuddle time with a stranger, like therapy for the touch-starved. Anna had scoffed at the idea, but now that she was here, could this really be what she needed to feel whole again, or was her past going to haunt her forever? She had no idea, but if anyone could help her, it was Elsa.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Anna was suspicious of course. Nobody could slide a business card for a "Cuddle Expert" across her desk with a straight face. And yet Kristoff had, and here she was, sitting in an aesthetically pleasing earth toned room with Buddha statues and fake reeds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe real reeds, Anna thought, running a finger across the brittle branches.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anna Fields?" An absolutely gorgeous blonde woman smiled at her from across the room, holding open the door she'd entered through invitingly. "My name is Elsa, I'll be with you today. Are you ready?" Anna followed her with a nod, coat folded over her linked arms. They passed several empty rooms, all decorated differently. Each had a bed, but the spread, pillows, blankets, and wall decor varied, presumably to suit a variety of tastes. "Here we are. Please, make yourself comfortable."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna shuffled around a moment before laying her purse and coat over a chair. Feeling distinctly exposed, Anna hovered over her belongings, not entirely sure where to look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever done this before?” Elsa asked, unclipping a paper from her clipboard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Anna said, embarrassed. “Honestly I thought this was fake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa laughed, everything movement friendly and open. “Yeah I’ve heard that. But I promise, we’re entirely legit.” She passed Anna the paper and a pen. “Would you like to sit? We can go over the agreement wherever you’re comfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we stick to standing?” Somehow that seemed like cheating, but Anna just couldn’t shake her unease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! Let me just point out the key parts and then I’ll give you time to read.” Elsa tapped her own pen over certain paragraphs, explaining as she went. “Basically your signature gets you an hour with the agreed upon pay, no overtime, that sort of thing. Everything is consenting and there’s no sexual activity allowed. If anything like that happens you get a warning, two times and you’re out, Girl Scout.” Anna skimmed over the rest of the document. “Any questions?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, this looks good.” Anna signed her name, Elsa took it and set up a timer on her phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking we could start simple because this is your first time. Unless you wanted to dive right in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S-Simple would be great,” Anna stammered, hating how awkward she was being. Kristoff may have given her the idea, but Anna was the one who followed through. Though now that she was here in the flesh she was having second thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa assessed her mood immediately. “You’re nervous.” Her eyes were kind and understanding. “I promise, we won’t do anything you don’t want, but it would nice to have that eighty dollars go towards something right? So we’ll start really small. Do you like hugs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna deflated like a balloon, a tentative smile breaking through her shell. “I love hugs, actually.” Elsa lit up like Christmas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I hug you then?” When Anna nodded her assent Elsa stepped forward and pulled Anna to her chest. Anna instinctively put her arms around Elsa’s shoulders, facial expression midway between happiness and the stony discomfort that comes from hugging strangers. This was no ordinary hug though. If there was an award for hugging, Elsa would be a champion and probably a World Record holder. There was no other way to describe it other than Anna felt completely </span>
  <em>
    <span>held</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t know how much time had gone by, but it was definitely passed the normal limits of a hug. And yet Elsa’s embrace was so genuine that Anna couldn't help but sink further into it. Enough was enough though, they should try different things, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa felt the indecision in Anna’s muscles and squeezed, nuzzling her cheek into Anna’s neck. “It’s okay,” she said softly, “we can stay like this if you want. You seem to like it.” Anna nodded, melting at the caring gesture. The loose hairs in Elsa’s braid tickled her nose so she turned her head in, a comfortable sigh rising between them. God, it was nice to be held.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna ended the hug on her own, heart satisfied. Without meaning to, her eyes found Elsa’s phone. Just over six minutes in and they’d barely scratched the surface. Though Anna found herself thinking that a five minute hug wouldn’t be remiss from time to time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was great,” Elsa beamed. Only now Anna realized Elsa still had her hands, fingertips resting just under Anna’s palms. She didn’t pull away, even when Elsa ran her thumbs across the sensitive skin on the backs of her hand. “How do you feel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel… better. Thank you.” Elsa’s smile only grew, blue eyes sparkling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You still have a lot of time left. I have some suggestions, if you’d like. And remember, you can say no at any time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you have in mind?” Anna asked cautiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sitting and talking.” Elsa gestured to the bed. “Care to join me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna’s brows rose in surprise but she followed nonetheless. They sat against the headboard, barely touching. A familiar kind of space. Incredible, Anna realized, since they were still practically strangers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what brought you to the Cuddle Corner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My friend Kristoff told me about it.” Anna snorted, “Or rather, he gave me a business card with my morning coffee, tapping it slowly while looking me dead in the eye. I don’t even know where he got it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That name doesn’t sound familiar,” Elsa mused, “but maybe he’s with one of our other Cuddlers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you even </span>
  <em>
    <span>become</span>
  </em>
  <span> a professional cuddler? It’s pretty out there and it’s not like it’s a college major or anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a pretty new thing,” Elsa explained. “Some people just do it right in their homes with people they meet on Twitter or Facebook. There are a few organizations that handle and send clients and get paid a small transaction fee. And then there are places like this where clients come to us.” Elsa shrugged. “It’s just something you look into and find a way in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you start?” Anna turned more towards Elsa, one leg curled beneath the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A friend recommended it to me, saying I was a good listener. This is just a part time job though. I actually work as an event planner for nonprofits.” Elsa folded her hands and put them in her lap. “I really like this job though. People have different needs, some just want someone to talk to,” she flashed a smile at Anna. “And I think people really enjoy the physical connection without it needing to ‘go’ anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They held each other's gaze. Anna felt her walls coming down little by little. She felt like Elsa would understand. Or maybe that she already did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to know more about you, too,” Elsa said, “and I have something else we can do while you talk. Have you ever had a hand massage?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, never.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excellent! Here, sit in the middle of the bed – yep, just like that. Now I’ll come around and sit across from you. Can our knees touch?” In response, Anna bumped them together. “May I have your hand?” With Anna’s left hand in Elsa’s lap, Elsa reached below the bed and pulled out a squeeze bottle. Anna flinched, arm spasming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have a nut allergy?” Elsa asked quickly. “I have others, I just thought almond would smell the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna relaxed, remembering where she was. “No that one’s fine, just, wasn’t what I thought was going to happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should have warned you, I’m sorry.” Elsa paused for another second more before she uncapped the bottle and poured a generous amount on her hand. Anna sniffed appreciatively. Almond </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a good choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her own hands thoroughly coated, Elsa raised Anna’s hand and began to cover it too. Nothing dramatic, just broad strokes from fingertip to wrist and back a few times before doing the same to Anna’s palm. Turning the hand over again, Elsa took Anna’s pinkie and squeezed, using her thumb to massage inwards toward the knuckles. She repeated this process with the ring finger while Anna sat mesmerized in sheer delight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where do you work?” Elsa asked conversationally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a Alumni Ambassador at Arendelle University, technically,” Anna replied without taking her eyes off their hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh that’s interesting. What do you do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I work with graduates. Or, I used to; now I’m a supervisor and mostly do administrative paperwork.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a student?” Elsa finished Anna’s thumb then started rubbing small circles just behind her knuckles towards her wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna gave a small laugh. “No, I graduated a few years ago. I’ve just been job hopping. And I worked at my university’s fundraising organization when I was an undergrad so I knew the drill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa traced her fingers over the sensitive underside of Anna’s wrist. “What did you like about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna thought for a moment. “The people? Everyone has their own story and most of the time they were fun to listen to. You can learn a lot from them, even if they didn’t major in the same thing. The older alumni were the most fun,” Anna grimaced, “or the worst, there was no way to tell ahead of time. I didn’t like asking for money though, that always rubbed me the wrong way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sound like a very caring person.” The compliment was paired with another one of Elsa’s warm smiles and for the life of her Anna couldn’t figure out how she did it. She felt like she and Elsa were already friends and yet they hadn’t been aware of each other’s existence an hour ago. Anna smiled back. She could get used to this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa had flipped her hand over again and was massaging Anna’s palm, starting with the middle and moving out. “Mmmm,” Anna hummed, “that feels amazing. Where did you learn to do this? Cuddling 101?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’d think so, right? I picked it up after going to a really high end facial while on vacation. Yeah I know, weird,” she answered, seeing Anna’s questioning look. “The lady did it while the mask set, just as something to pass the time. It was heavenly. Speaking of, does it feel okay? I’m not pressing too hard or too soft?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re perfect, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa sandwiched Anna’s hand between her own and pressed inwards. Then she grabbed more lotion and started work on the other hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what you want to do as a career? Beyond helping students that is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I majored in social work, which is a pretty broad category.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could even land you here,” Elsa teased. “Anna Fields, Cuddle Expert.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna laughed and ducked her head. “Maybe, I’m not so sure. I’d love to work with special needs kids. They need a lot of love y’know? They need someone to be there for them cuz a lot of people just… don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caring, loving, thoughtful,” Elsa listed, massaging the top of Anna’s wrist. “Now I really do see a part time Cuddling position in your future.” Anna couldn’t come up with a suitable response. “Ready for the finish?” Elsa interlocked their fingers, cupping Anna’s entire hand in her own, and pressed back gently to stretch the small muscles from wrist to tip. Then she eased the pressure, ghosting the pads of her fingers over Anna’s nails.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna gave her hands a few experimental flexes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feel good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feels great!” Anna exclaimed. “Thank you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My pleasure.” Elsa's eyes crinkled and it struck Anna all at once that she really meant it. Elsa really was just here to make Anna comfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s see, you have,” Elsa twisted to look over her shoulder, “just under twenty minutes. How are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel really relaxed.” Elsa’s brow dipped. “More than I was before,” Anna corrected. “I’m guessing this isn’t how your sessions usually go though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone’s different, but no, many of the sessions are a lot… further along, in a manner of speaking.”</span>
</p><p>A<span>nna hesitated. “What do you mean?”</span></p><p>
  <span>“I mean, generally I do the sorts of things that come to mind when most people think of cuddling. Lying next to or on top of one another, spooning, linking arms, hands, or legs, that kind of stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you do that with everybody?” Anna breathed, anxiety pulsing through her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone who asks,” Elsa said slowly. “But Anna?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa offered a small half smile. “It’s okay to not be ready for that yet, but I can tell you want to be touched.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She did. She did with all her heart but the </span>
  <em>
    <span>guilt</span>
  </em>
  <span> tore at her, keeping her desire behind an iron curtain. And yet Elsa could see it with those keen eyes, full of understanding and absent of judgement. Elsa was safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna wanted to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like–” Anna coughed, voice cracking, “I’d like to try, some of those.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’ll tell me the moment you’re uncomfortable?” Elsa asked in a measured tone. “I don’t want you to push yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Relief and dread collided in Anna’s chest as she nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Elsa positioned herself behind Anna, between her and the headboard. “Do you want to lay down?” Anna nodded again, courage suddenly gone and leaving her without a voice. “Do you want me to lay behind you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna hesitated, biting her lip. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> it, but could she </span>
  <em>
    <span>handle</span>
  </em>
  <span> it… She shook her head no.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” Elsa reassured. “I’m sitting above you now, how does that feel?” Anna’s teeth went back to her lip. Then it seemed Elsa hit upon a burst of inspiration. “Do you want to put your head in my lap?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna stiffened, weighing the consequences. Then she crawled forward and placed her head on Elsa’s knee. Elsa immediately put her hand on Anna’s shoulder, lightly at first, then with normal weight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Other clients have really enjoyed this position because it makes them feel protected, like someone’s watching over them,” Elsa commented quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel safe.” The confession tumbled past Anna’s lips without prompting, and her ears grew hot with her resulting embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa’s voice was rich and warm. “That’s good, I’m glad.” She began stroking Anna’s arm, rhythmic back and forth motions that had Anna’s eyes drooping. “How do you feel about hair touching?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Anna almost begged. God if there was anything more satisfying than </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> Anna would eat her purse. “I’d love that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She heard Elsa hum happily, free hand gently pulling her bangs back. “Can I undo your braids?” At Anna’s acceptance nimble fingers began combing through her locks, untangling as they went. Anna couldn't help it, she stretched languidly and repositioned herself to allow Elsa better access.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone’s happy.” She could hear the smile in Elsa’s voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hmm,” was the best Anna could do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa finished unbraiding and set to lightly massaging Anna’s scalp, starting at her hairline and moving back. Occasionally she would press down near the top of Anna’s head, making Anna’s toes curl in pleasure. “How are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span> that?” She asked, just after Elsa did it again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have pressure points on top and near the bottom of your skull where it connects to your spine. You also have one right above your ears,” Elsa pressed lightly to show exactly where. “When you apply a bit of, well, pressure, it feels good. Of course if you push too hard it will hurt but that’s obviously not the goal here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I’ve said this a couple times, but seriously, that’s amazing,” Anna enthused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you think so, it took a lot of practice.” Elsa pressed one last time on all the pressure points before switching to leisurely play with Anna’s hair. “You know, I meant to ask before, but do you have any siblings?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None, single child,” Anna replied wistfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same here,” Elsa said. “Did you ever want one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna was silent for a moment, blissfully enjoying the feel of Elsa’s fingers. Again she was struck at just how </span>
  <em>
    <span>comfortable</span>
  </em>
  <span> she was, despite the baby steps and small amount of time. “I feel like I always wanted an older sister. I actually love it when people play with my hair, I just... haven’t had it happen in a while. I don’t know. I guess when someone is playing with my hair it reminds me of what a sister might do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt Elsa nod, a pleasant silence descending between them. Anna closes her eyes, feeling herself drift away. Elsa’s hands had worked magic; she couldn’t even feel the ball and chain that normally weighed her down. Anna could stay like this forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the timer went off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not a jarring, trumpeting bellow that wakes the dead, but a patter of soft rain and low rumble of thunder. Somehow that was worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The iron shackles reappeared and Anna plummeted from the sky, paper wings crumbling to ash. Every rationale for avoiding these </span>
  <em>
    <span>situations</span>
  </em>
  <span> like the plague came roaring back, her body physically seizing with the onslaught. Pain beyond sound killed her voice before it could escape, her mouth open in silent agony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anna? What’s wrong?” Doesn’t she realize Anna’s time is up?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna sat up quickly, head spinning as blood churned through her veins. “We’re done right? I’m free to go?” Her own voice was unfamiliar, all pointed, dark and shaky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but–” Anna stood, grabbing her things and the door handle in record time. “Wait!” Elsa cried. “You… Did I do something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna flinched at the pain in Elsa’s innocent question. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, you didn’t do anything, it’s me. I’m–</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anna,” Elsa walked forward, carefully in Anna’s peripheral. “Please, at least take this. I know you have the office card, but this one is mine.” Anna heard the scratch of card stock on fabric and reached blindly to take it from her. Tears stung her eyes when Elsa continued. “And if you ever need to… talk to someone, about anything, call me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna caught the desperate “I will” on the tip of her tongue, grinding it to dust between her teeth. Instead she said, “I’ll think about it,” and exited into the hallway. Just before the door slammed shut she stopped, pushing back an inch. Elsa stood still, a flurry of emotions on her face. “Elsa?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” Quiet, shy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Strangers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. For everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she closed the door.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I found out professional cuddlers are a thing, a totally legit service just like regular therapy or social services. OBVIOUSLY this calls for fluff of UNGODLY magnitude... and just a dash of angst to keep it interesting. I originally wrote this in 2015 (edited it in 2020 for posting) and it has always been one of my personal favorites. If you liked it, let me know! I have a chapter 2 lying around but it's not complete. I'd spruce it up and make a follow-up if people were interested.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Print Music</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Anna's a professional T-shirt printer and Elsa is a successful radio show host who specializes in music. What started out as a mutual business promotion has slowly evolved into something more. It's only a matter of time before something happens, but when it does, it takes everyone by surprise.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“There you go, all set.” Elsa handed back the clipboard and pen to the gorgeous redhead she’d had the honor of interacting with the past eight months.</p><p>“Thanks Ms. Arendelle.” The woman gave her a two finger salute. “Always a pleasure.”</p><p>“Anna, how many times have I told you to call me Elsa?”</p><p>“About the same number of times I’ve told you that you don’t have to pay for these,” Anna quickly replied, waving the forty dollars Elsa had hidden between the receipts. Elsa sighed, plucking the bills from her hand. “Hey, don’t sweat it okay? Your references and radio ads have been payment enough. My business has never been better. That and you wear my shirts twenty-four seven.”</p><p>“But your work is so good!” Elsa defended. “I’d gladly pay even more than you list them for.”</p><p>“You’re sweet,” Anna winked, stowing the clipboard under her arm. They shook hands before she left, leaving Elsa leaning against the doorframe of her recording booth at a loss for words. It was a chronic condition following interactions with Anna.</p><p>“So when are you going to ask her out?”</p><p>Elsa nearly jumped out of her skin. “<em>Olaf </em>! I thought you’d gone home already!”</p><p>“I like it when Anna visits. You smile a lot and you hum to yourself after she leaves. She makes you happy.”</p><p>
  <em> Damn you Olaf and your keen observation and blistering honesty. </em>
</p><p>“Were you able to sneak in payment this time?” Olaf asked, tidying up the office before quitting time.</p><p>Elsa blew air at her bangs, or the one that refused to stay up anyway. “No, she must have seen me slip it in.” She smirked. “That’s okay though, there are two concert tickets waiting for her when she gets back to the shop.”</p><p>“Perks of hosting a music station and knowing your crush’s address.” Olaf grinned. “Not that you could forget since it’s plastered to your back.”</p><p>Elsa pulled her shirt away from her body to admire it. Like many custom t-shirt companies, Anna’s number, address, and online store were advertised on the back while the custom work was displayed on the front. When Elsa had come in for her first commission Anna had loved her goofy, 5 year old skill level drawing of a snowflake inside the text of her channel’s name and dial number. She’d rushed it to the back room immediately, redesigning it to look professional and fun. Elsa’s snowflake was now wonderfully colored and detailed with the added bonus of wearing awesome headphones and sunglasses. </p><p>“The definition of cool,” Anna had promised.</p><p>It was cheesy. It was dorky. Elsa loved it and immediately ordered a hundred. Over time Elsa had commissioned more from the talented artist, praised her skill on the air, and even ordered some independent work on the side. In fact she ordered so often that unless the shirts were strictly work related Elsa had them delivered to her house. This lead to more time together, knowing looks, and borderline flirting every time they saw each other.</p><p>An hour later Elsa waved goodbye to Olaf and headed home. She took the long way, admiring the sunset. A billboard overhead announced the coming of a popular band playing tonight, one Elsa knew had sold out in minutes with no chance of spare seating. Unless you were listening to her channel of course. Elsa smiled to herself. Anna had once admit she’d love to go, but tickets were expensive she wouldn't want to save up only to go alone. When Elsa had heard that the band’s tour was stopping nearby she’d phoned every connection she knew to get tickets for her station, after setting two aside for Anna and a friend of her choosing. She figured it was the least she could do since Anna adamantly refused Elsa pay for any of the woman’s amazing work.</p><p>She unlocked the door to her townhouse, letting her hair down as she kicked off her shoes. Dinner tonight was chicken parmesan, and if she wanted to eat before eight she’d better get started.</p><p>A knock on the door interrupted her prep work. She towelled off her hands and went to see who would be there at this late hour, only to be greeted by a medium sized cardboard box and no one else. Then she recognized it as one of Anna’s personalized shipping packages, a stylized green crocus taking up the lower right corner of every side of the box. Curious, as Anna usually delivered these herself. She remembered that Anna had probably returned to the shop and started work up again, and rather than delay, sent the package through regular mail instead.</p><p>Still, Elsa couldn’t remember ordering anything recently. She crouched down, deciding to open the box to make sure everything checked out.</p><p>Nothing could have prepared her for it’s contents.</p><p>Elsa gasped, putting a hand over her mouth. Inside was a black v-neck with her snowflake and Anna’s flower falling and repeating themselves from collar to hem. At chest level the symbols overlapped, complimenting each other in ways Elsa could not describe, only that it felt right that they were together. Elsa picked up the shirt, rubbing it between her fingers, in awe of the time and detail that had gone into this one piece of fabric. To her wonder the gift was not done giving. Beneath the shirt lay the two concert tickets she’d given Anna and a note.</p><p><em> Come with me </em>.</p><p>The creaking of her front steps made Elsa look up, eyes swimming with tears. Anna stood at the edge of the porch, somehow the most magnificent image Elsa had ever seen in only a tank top and ragged shorts.</p><p>Anna walked over and lifted Elsa to her feet. “I packed a picnic dinner for after the show and reserved a spot for the town’s fiftieth anniversary fireworks. And look,” she gestured out to the street, “we even get to ride in style! Your buddy Olaf knew a guy who gave me a good deal for renting a BMW so ta-da!”</p><p>Elsa was rooted to the spot, overcome that someone would put this much effort and care into a night just for her.</p><p>Anna placed the note from the box into Elsa’s hand then spread her arms. “What do you think?”</p><p>Elsa thought <em> she </em> had been clever with her courting, but now…</p><p>“I… I don’t know what to say.”</p><p>Anna smiled. “How about ‘yes’?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Kissing You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Presented without apology or regret</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They say kissing is like a dream. Everything is perfect, a moment out of time, spellbound, a fantasy come to life. They are the most exquisite of adventures, making connections and creating scenarios we wouldn’t dare to live. “In your wildest dreams” they say, a testament that a mind can do better than a body, that anything imagined will be better than real life. I say they are wrong. Dreams end and fade, dodging the grasp of fingers they fly on wings of dawn and leave one lonely person to the cold morning. They become memories of events that never happened, and the more they are recalled the more they slip away. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But you, you never fade. When I awake from my most pleasurable dream – one which I am sure featured you heavily – I do not sadden at losing the warmth in my chest that follows every thought of you. All I must do is turn my head and see you there, sleeping soundly, chest rising and falling beneath the blankets. I would not trade the sight of you next to me, the sound of your laugh, the color of your eyes, for any dream. Those who kiss and dream of better have not known the hungry meeting of lips, the reverent touches of shoulders and neck, or the gentle message “I love you” whispered between breaths and on mouths before a crackling fireplace. Or perhaps they have known these things but never from one who’s love shrinks the deepest ocean, one that eclipses the heavens with it’s brilliance. They have not known you or yours.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because kissing you is like lightning in my chest. Sparks fly from fingertips, electricity in my veins, my heart a conduit pumping arduously, effortlessly, maddeningly. I am full of you, your everything in me and around me. My hands are full of your hips, my chest full of your love, and my head full of your thoughts and yet you press on, giving me more until I cannot distinguish between you and me and I moan out your name like an oath to the sky: “I am yours, you are mine, we are one, kiss me, break me, let your lips trace fire across my skin, write the sigils with your tongue, release me from my corporeal form and let us dance among the stars. They will give us new constellations; by running across the heavens we will carve our own stories, live our own lives, and take shelter from the wrathful outside world.” Your kisses have power, like magic. Entrancing, beautiful, I am lost and I realize that I am not afraid. For if I am to drown, what better place than in your arms?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kissing you is not like dreaming. Kissing you is a religious experience. And if God finds this displeasing and casts us down from heaven then at least, dear sister, we will fall like angels, comets, crashing through all nine rings of Hell to land on Satan’s throne where you can ravish me with lips hotter than the fire and brimstone of Jonathan Edwards’ imagination. For you cannot sin in dreaming and kissing you is undeniably so. Let God be an angry god; in Hell you will be Queen as is your birthright and I Vassal as is my desire and we’ll kiss, oh how we’ll kiss, and stoke the flames and laugh at anyone who thinks different. They cannot see that you are my new religion.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. One Night (Part 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“But, I suppose I did have a reason,” Elsa admit, lacing her fingers together. "Have you ever felt like you needed to be somewhere and somehow getting there and arriving at the right time is so important that you drop everything for it?”</p><p>“Yes,” Summers said quietly.</p><p>Quick, honest, connection.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mix up of "met you in a bar but turns out you're a soldier and you leave for your first tour tomorrow" and an TFLN of such horrendous assholishness that it needed aggressive readjustment: "[G]irl I asked to come home with me said she had a boyfriend. Told her I had a goldfish. When she looked confused I said 'Oh I'm sorry, I though we were talking about this that didn't matter'" (Upped the overall rating for this story)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I said, leave me </span>
  <em>
    <span>alone</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw c’mon baby, don’t be like that.” The man who’d refused to introduce himself put a hand dangerously close to her thigh. Elsa didn’t know what scared her more, the fact that he’d invaded her personal space within a minute of sitting down or that his breath </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> smell of alcohol. “Let me buy you a drink.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa eased her leg as far away as she could without being obvious. “I have a boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I have a goldfish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“E-Excuse me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I’m sorry,” he leered, “I thought we were talking about shit that doesn’t matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa’s stomach dropped out, waves of sheer revulsion shooting down her spine. He leaned forward. “You know we’d be good together. And that pretty voice of yours will sound amazing screaming my–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is this... </span>
  <em>
    <span>gentleman</span>
  </em>
  <span>, bothering you ma'am?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa twitched under the sudden hand on her shoulder. A young redhead had approached them from out of nowhere, her bright turquoise eyes an island of comfort in a chaotic sea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who the fuck are you?” The man snarled, shielding Elsa with his body. The hand on her shoulder tightened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one, just a friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohhhh. Hey blondie, you cheapin’ out on me? You didn’t tell me you had friends.” He reclined, crossing an ankle on top of his knee. “What’s your name sweetheart? Wanna come home with me tonight too? Or better yet, you two ladies take me home instead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman gave him such a scathing glare Elsa half expected her aggressor to spontaneously combust. A pity he did not. “No thanks. I don’t adopt pets that aren’t trained.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man rocketed out of his seat. “You got a problem bitch?” Elsa gulped in fear. He towered over her rescuer, who wasn’t that tall to begin with, a pillar of rage and spleen. The redhead didn’t back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First you want to fuck me then you call me a bitch? You’re a regular Casanova, you know that?” The man’s lip curled, fingers twitching. “Besides,” the woman continued, a sly smile on her lips, “I only give my name to friends or people I’m going to have sex with. And by the look of things,” she eyed him up and down, fixing the nauseating bulge in his jeans with an unimpressed look before skipping back to his face, “you haven’t the parts or personality for either position.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa’s jaw dropped. The woman turned back to her, shooting Elsa’s degree of awe through the roof because as soon as she made eye contact the redhead </span>
  <em>
    <span>beamed</span>
  </em>
  <span> like a kid in a candy store.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whaddya say we get out of here, leave this loser to his drink and lonely bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen here you ignorant </span>
  <em>
    <span>slut</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” The man roared. “You don’t talk to me that way, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no one</span>
  </em>
  <span> talks to me that way. Least of all some short stack lesbian </span>
  <em>
    <span>nobody</span>
  </em>
  <span> who thinks she’s playing hero.” He brought each insult home with a vicious jab to the redhead’s chest. “Everything was fine until you got here. Me and her were just having a polite conversation.” All the blood drained from Elsa’s face as he looked at her. “Isn’t that right sweetie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took her silence as an answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So why don’t you just get the fuck out of here? Walk away and forget any of this ever happened. Once I’m done with your ‘friend’, I’ll come back for you. And who knows,” his gaze dipped to the woman’s chest. “You might find I’m more than well equipped to handle even someone of your... </span>
  <em>
    <span>particular</span>
  </em>
  <span> tastes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa saw red. Then she realized she really was seeing red. Blood fountained from the man’s broken nose as he fell to the ground. The woman absently inspected her knuckles, wiping off flecks of red. Elsa hadn’t even seen her throw a punch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You– You son a bitch!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man lunged, aiming a swipe at the woman’s head. She dodged neatly, turning his momentum in her favor. A swift kick to the back of his legs sent him to his knees and a moment later she had a thumb digging into the top of his shoulder and a hand around his throat. His cry of agony ended sharply as she pressed her fingers into his neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By now the entire bar had gone silent and was watching with morbid fascination. Elsa had her knees up to her chest, hands over her mouth, speechless for the second time since this had all started. She checked the clock on the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feel that?” Elsa switched her attention back to the two on the floor, her elevated position giving her a front row seat and excellent view. Her rescuer –as inappropriate as that term seemed to be now– spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. “That’s what we smart people call a suprascapular nerve. Hurts doesn’t it? Don’t nod, that’ll make it worse. I love this nerve and I’ll tell you why: it causes some of the most intense pain known to man, and, if kept under constant pressure, can knock a victim out in less than six seconds.” The man visibly swallowed. “Glad you brought that up! I like this one even better.” The redhead rhythmically tapped her fingers along the side of his throat. “This right here is the carotid artery. As you can see it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> sensitive. From this position not only is your windpipe vulnerable, but your brain too. If I apply even the smallest amount of pressure, like so,” she pressed down with her fingers, drawing a strangled gasp, “your heart rate increases because your brain is losing oxygen. Do this with enough force and boom! Unconsciousness achieved in five seconds or less.” The woman leaned over her captive’s bloodied face, expression cold as stone. “So you can imagine what it might feel like if both were to happen at once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The redhead shoved him away, rising to her feet much more gracefully than his shamble. His left arm was limp at his side, the other quick to massage his neck. Elsa’s eyes darted between the two, the first calm and collected but fierce, the other shaking like a cornered animal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make it real simple for you, okay pal? You’ve got two options here. You can leave here peacefully, not much worse for wear and, hey, a life lesson thrown in for free! Or,” her voice hardened, eyes sharp as steel, “you can wake up tomorrow hogtied in a dumpster halfway across the city. I’ll even throw in a headache and sore crotch, free of charge. And not the good kind of ache, I’m talking my boot in your balls. I have enough know-how to make you fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>disappear</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She shook her head. “But see, I don’t want to do that. I actually like this bar, Kristoff keeps a good place and it would be doing him a disservice to beat your sleazy ass inside his wonderful establishment. But if I do, don’t think for a second that you aren’t going to take the blame. You have no allies here, get that shithead? Now, make your choice. I’m done talking.”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa had never seen a grown man look so close to vomiting except the carnival or viewing a slasher film. This man was </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrified</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Elsa didn’t have one lick of sympathy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A resounding cheer broke out as he sprinted for the exit. Suddenly they were surrounded by people, clapping the woman on the shoulder, congratulating her, while others crowded Elsa herself, checking to see if she was okay. Elsa nodded mutely to it all, overwhelmed. The redhead looked at her, a satisfied smile on her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But something seemed… wrong. Her victory rang hollow, expression dim as though a hood had been cast over her eyes. She backed away from the celebrators, thanking them profusely and urging them back to their seats before stepping up to the counter. Despite the short distance Elsa could not make out what was said to the bartender over the jubilant hubbub behind. Their conversation ended in a nod and handover of a wet rag. As the woman bent down to clean up the blood, Elsa observed. She scrubbed with a vigor unnecessary, as though the blood were three weeks old and she the murderer hiding evidence of her cruelty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, excuse me?” Elsa cleared her throat, voice hoarse from everything that had happened despite not saying a word. The redhead glanced up, eyes widening when she realized who’d beckoned her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey I’m, I’m really sorry about how that turned out. I promise that in my head everything went a lot smoother. I mean, not that I was thinking, Jesus I was so angry, what a piece a trash that guy. But–,” a look of terror crossed her face. “Oh God, I scared you didn’t I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew it. Arrrrgh, I’m such an idiot! I punched him right in front of you </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course</span>
  </em>
  <span> I scared you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! No no it’s not that!” Elsa hastily corrected. This miracle of a woman was beating herself up for </span>
  <em>
    <span>helping</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Unacceptable. “I just wanted to say thank you. You… I mean you </span>
  <em>
    <span>saved</span>
  </em>
  <span> me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Oh,” the redhead replied, embarrassment bringing color a little farther south.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you sit with me?” Elsa offered. After all she’d done, the least Elsa could do was buy her a drink. That’s what people did in these situations right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hero beamed. “I would love to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll take that.” A large hand plucked the dirty towel from the redhead’s hand. “And while I’m at it, tell me what you ladies would like to drink. Anything you want, on the house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kristoff!” The woman gasped. “That’s too generous of you, I couldn’t possibly–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll pay for them,” Elsa interjected. “I owe you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t owe me anything. I just did what anyone would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>? No, please, I want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh for the love of–,” the burly blonde grumbled over them. “This is my bar, my rules. I’m going to whip up some of my specials and neither of you are going to say a word or leave a dollar, alright?” The women shared a look before nodding meekly. “Excellent. And for God’s sake girl, </span>
  <em>
    <span>introduce yourself</span>
  </em>
  <span> to the person you punched a grown man to the ground over!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O-Oh. Yeah right I should… I should probably do that. Heh.” The woman’s face flushed as red as her hair while Kristoff rolled his eyes and lumbered off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa stuck out her hand. “Hi, I’m Elsa.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She swore the redhead smiled all the way to her toes. “First Lieutenant Summers, at your service.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A servicewoman? Well, that explained a lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where’s this boyfriend of yours?” Summers asked, hopping into a chair. “No offense, but he should have been here. It’s not like he could have missed all that,” she made sweeping gestures to their surroundings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, I don’t actually have a boyfriend,” Elsa answered, crossing her legs. “It was the first thing I thought of to get that creep away from me.” She dropped her gaze. “Not that it got me anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Smart nonetheless,” Summers nodded, impressed. A muscle below her eye twitched and she rubbed the back of her neck. “Dumb question, but do you mind if I let my hair down? Damn bun is way too tight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course!” Elsa twiddled her braid between two fingers. “I know the feeling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Summers expertly undid her bun, reining in the locks with two plaited braids on either side of her head. Elsa couldn’t help but feel she’d been copied, not that she was complaining because the result was heartwarmingly adorable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Summers rolled her head in a circle. “Ahhh, much better.”  Then her brow creased. “I didn’t ask before, but how are you feeling? Is there anyone I can call to take you home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little jittery, but I’ll be okay. And no,” Elsa shook her head. “I’d rather stay here. But if you have to go–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’ve got nowhere to be. Just came to have a good time on my night off.” She saw Elsa’s expression sour. “Don’t worry,” Summers grinned. “Calling assholes out on their shit counts as a good time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kristoff came with their drinks, giving them each a healthy but not unkind stare-down to make sure they didn’t pay. Elsa took a sip and found hers to be fruity and delicious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said this was your night off?” she ventured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I just finished my ROTC training and came home. Some of the cadets in the area wanted to go out and celebrate, but I wanted someplace more familiar. So I came here.” Summers swirled her drink, tipping the glass towards the counter. “I’ve known Kristoff since high school. We dated for a while but it didn’t last. Stayed friends though, and after graduation I went off to college and he started work here under his grandfather who has since passed. Kristoff inherited the place and now it’s where I come back to relax and catch up.” She laughed. “Or to sob over the break up of the latest boy or girlfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Elsa exclaimed, surprised by Summers' forthrightness. “You’re…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bi? Yeah, so that guy was half right. Guess I lied when I said he didn’t have the parts. I just didn’t want his, yuck.” Summers paused. “That’s… okay right? Hate to ask, but some people get weird when I say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh gosh of course it is! I mean I’m–.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m a huge freakin’ lesbian. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Summers tilted her head, confused. “I-I’m…” Elsa dragged a hand down her face. “Sorry, I’m still not used to saying it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Summers’ frown pops into a silent ‘Ohhhhhh’. “So what you’re saying, or not saying, is that you’re really fucking gay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“U-Um… yeah.” Elsa’s shoulders attempted connection to her ears. Did Kristoff turn up the heat or was the room always this hot?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right! High-five!” Elsa slapped the soldier’s hand, charmed. Summers’ goofiness was contagious and endearing. “So what about you? What brought you here tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa shrugged. “Friday night happy hour?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hear that,” Summers grinned, taking a sip of her drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, I suppose I did have a reason,” Elsa admit, lacing her fingers together. “I came looking for something new. I couldn’t even tell you what, and if I’d known how this would turn out I never would have picked this random bar in the first place.” Then she smiled, remembering. “Or, maybe I would have. I can’t explain it much better, I acted on a feeling. Have you ever felt like you needed to be somewhere and somehow getting there and arriving at the right time is so important that you drop everything for it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Summers said quietly. Quick, honest, connection. An intimate silence settled between them, a little piece of world to themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night progressed. Conversation flowed from pets to dreams, music to fears, anecdotes to puns. Summers talked about her training, rattling off a million and one ways to track this and take down that. She used her hands frequently, brushed hair behind her ear when nervous, and was an accomplished story-teller. Elsa listened more than anything, asking the odd question or answering in short but informative ways. Summers was gentle and polite, and before Elsa knew it she was entirely smitten.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But days are just hours and hours just minutes with those being precious and short. The arrival of a phone reminder splinters their universe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit, is it really that late already?” Elsa checked her phone as well, noticing the quiet around them. They were the only ones left in the bar. Summers groaned. “I have to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” Elsa said. “Here, let me get your number so we can meet up again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… um,” Summers tapped the edge of her phone, evasive. “I-I can’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Why?” She didn’t mean to, but the hurt carried in Elsa’s voice. Summers hung her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m… actually leaving tomorrow for my first tour.” Elsa’s heart plummeted. “I’m sorry, I should have told you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No I…,” Elsa faltered. Fate had a warped sense of humor bringing them together only to tear them apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Summers put on a smile. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. It should be fun right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa said nothing. Summers dropped her eyes, reaching for her glass one last time. Elsa caught the tremble of her hand, one that formed a fist a hairsbreadth from its destination. An uncomfortable silence brewed, Summers hovering over her cup without drinking while Elsa struggled to find the appropriate words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end she did not find them, closing the gap with gentle fingers over white knuckles, tension melting enough to ease the soldier’s hand flat. Summers turned away, face tucked into the crook of her elbow. Her shoulders trembled, and Elsa freely accepted the burden as Summers locked their hands together with a grip like iron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hear so many stories,” Summers said at last. “People come back… changed. Or they don’t come back at all. What if… What if–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop.” Elsa bit back the sting of tears. Summers was not so lucky. Hers fell like rain. “Summers, you’re a good person. Humble. Brave. I won’t say nothing will happen because I can’t see the future. But I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> say this.” Elsa wrapped her arm around the soldier and hugged her tight. “I am infinitely better for having known you, no matter how short a time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Summers squeezed their hands, a sob escaping. “I want to see you again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Summers I–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Anna. A-n-n-a. Anna Summers.” Her smile was bright through her tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anna…” A perfect name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat with their knees touching, trying to find a way to say goodbye. Then Elsa remembered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that I know your name,” she said, reaching for Anna’s hand. “Does that make us friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna searched her face. “Maybe,” she whispered, bringing Elsa’s palm to her lips. “Or maybe we’re something more.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. One Night (Part 2): Letter #1, Elsa</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dear Anna,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I know it’s only been a few hours since you’ve gone, but I awoke to a house far emptier than it had a right to be. You left me with a phantom kiss and a note on the kitchen table, a far cry from the send off you deserve. Maybe I should have expected this, the fact that you came home with me last night means we’re both awful at goodbyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You took a train to the coast. Will there be other cadets on board? More people like you, off to fight in a war that makes your future less certain? Will the cars be silent and dour or will they be filled with the howls of joy, camaraderie, and jubilation of finally putting training to use? Or will there be mostly ordinary folk who talk about fighting like a distant memory without ever once living a moment of it, or whose stance is political only? Perhaps there will be a few like me, thoughts errant and hearts heavy, thinking of loved ones gone away, worried at the challenges they will face, and fearful of how they’ll come home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’ll board a boat, destination yet to be assigned but undoubtedly someplace far away. All you know is that it leaves at 1600, whether you are there or not. And oh it was a fancy we shared, together in our bed. I refuse to call it mine alone now. What if you never showed up? If I took those tickets I found in your pocket and tore them to pieces. What if that damned paper dissolved into nothing, ashamed that it heralded the separation of two and trauma of one?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they would find you. They would take you. And before you left to fight their wars they would humiliate you and bring you to your knees. They would call you traitor and I harlot, a stumbling block on the road to true patriotism. You would fight their words and I would swallow them, gagging at the jagged edges. But I would do anything if it meant keeping you here with me a little longer, even if in the end it was only an illusion. You must have seen the fire die in my eyes, the tickets wilt in my grasp. You eased them so gently from my fingers, as though I were glass. And maybe I was in that moment, glass. Extraordinary heat withdrawn to leave a fragile structure. But I became a different kind of hot under your skillful hand, remolded. I was reminded that we had tonight, and that tonight could last forever. You lied, but I will not hold it against you. With every scorching touch I wanted to believe that forever could be contained between the hours of midnight and daybreak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I miss you when I breathe. My lungs, once filled with you, reject oxygen’s casual replacement. They have known better. The sheets smell of you, I am terrified of washing them. When all that is physical of you is gone I will have nothing but a note, a kiss long dry, and an ache as deep as the ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I do not know when this will reach you. The address you gave me is sterile and far away. No amount of stamps or special packaging will get it to you faster. Only a president or king could have a handprinted letter arrive across the country in a matter of hours. If I had either of their power I wouldn’t waste it sending letters. I would demand you be brought home. But I will have to make do with the powers of an ordinary person, always hoping for the impossible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Work starts in an hour. I do not want to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yours always,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa Arendelle</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sent from [REDACTED]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Deliver to 1st LT Anna Summers, [REDACTED] Battalion, [REDACTED] Platoon, [REDACTED], Pacific Ocean</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for being patient on the update everyone! Got really involved with two more stories in the mean time that I couldn't stop working on. If you're ever wondering what I'm doing or where an update might be, be sure to check out my tumblr</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. One Night (Part 3): Letter #1, Anna</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dear Beloved,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I reply to your letter moments after reading though it has been several weeks since you wrote. It was waiting for me when we arrived in [REDACTED], it seems in this case the snail was me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’ll be glad to hear both I and the platoon are doing well, some better than others. The older soldiers are prone to teasing, saying we’d soon get our sea legs the entire trip. Luckily the motion sickness passed me by, but I swear the waves will roll an ankle if you’re not paying attention. Dramamine and scopolamine patches were handed out every few days, but the black market kept up a daily supply to those who needed it. A pill for a cigarette. I felt like I’d gone back in time. Thankfully, watching the horizon was enough, but I could only look for so long before my mind started to wonder what lay beyond. I would inevitably think of home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To answer your questions, the train ride was a jumble of emotions. Some hollered until their voices gave out, ready to face the world and the bright tomorrow. Others were withdrawn, silent. As time went by, less and less ordinary people remained, until with the onset of night there were none, our connection to the outside world severed. I feel as though we entered a dream-like state from which we have not yet emerged, a subtle grasping at unreality. Even now I write as though I look over myself, a ghost over my own head, a narrator to my own story.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everywhere there exists a sense of adventure. For everyone here it is a new chapter in life, we are excited to see where it leads. Work is exhausting but fulfilling, in many ways it reminds me of training. I’ve created new friendships and strengthened old ones, we live life together. Each new day has unlimited possibility. At least, it feels that way until night fall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At night there is silence. The hum of electric generators, air conditioning, and chitter of night creatures are a backdrop to thoughts untouched in the light of day. The darkness is a place where loneliness creeps. Some of us cry. Twilight patrols are the worsen the affliction. The silence is oppressive, dredging up memories for the mind to taint and pick apart. The hours between midnight and dawn are indeed forever; only when you are with someone you cherish does time continue to flow towards dawn. The night is merciful though, bringing gifts of the heavens. Oh how I wish you could see it. The galaxy is in full display, it is a wonder to behold. And still I find nothing of value in that impossible vastness. They say that lovers can look up at the same sky and feel connected. I struggle to believe that. These stars are distant and cold, there is nothing about them that sparks my heart in remembrance of you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But enough of sad things, I do not want you to worry. As I said, life here is an adventure, and I would share the most amazing parts with you. As for the day to day, I would like to imagine I’d be doing that with you one day, so I will spare you the details.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For now, it is time to rest. I have midnight patrol.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I will try the stars again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yours,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna Summers</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sent from [REDACTED], Pacific Ocean</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Deliver to Elsa Arendelle, [REDACTED]</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. April Showers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Little Anna is usually such a good kid, there's only one thing that brings her back the terrible twos: Broken Promises. [Big/Littleau, Older!Elsa, Younger!Anna, Based on TFLN (425):  “you started crying because you didn’t get to wear your rain boots this week so I turned on the shower and let you jump around in it”]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh nonononono Anna it’s okay, shh, it’s okay sweetheart. We’ll do it another time okay?”</p><p>Anna continued wailing, unable to accept in the way five year old's do that rain is not controlled by big sisters. Even when asked politely.</p><p>“But I s-said <em>pl-lea-ea-ea-eassse</em>,” Anna hiccupped. Elsa rubbed her temple, attempting to keep her composure. Normally Anna was an extremely easy kid to deal with. She was naturally inquisitive, immensely curious, and could be endlessly entertained with a multitude of activities. There was only one thing that sent Anna’s behavior back to the infamous Terrible Twos.</p><p>Broken promises.</p><p>A two year old Anna had waved goodbye from the front step, nanny just behind ready to watch her for the evening. Their parents had promised to come home. A drunk driver made them liars.</p><p>Elsa had been 19 and thriving in college. She pushed everything aside to care for her baby sister, a sobbing toddler who didn’t stop crying until Elsa promised to stay.</p><p>For three years Anna was happy, sniffles attacking only in tandem with scraped knees or high fevers. Broken promises were a thing of the past, and Elsa aimed to keep it that way.</p><p>Until she promised it would rain.</p><p>Anna loved rain, second only to snow. The weatherman had said there would be spring showers the entire week, but not a single drop fell. At bedtime Elsa cuddled with Anna until she fell asleep.</p><p>“Will it rain tomorrow, Elsa?”</p><p>“I hope so.”</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>“Promise.”</p><p>Anna’s snowman patterned rain boots stayed just inside the door, dry as bone.</p><p>And now, on the last day of the week, Anna was holding her accountable.</p><p>“I know, you’re getting so good at that Anna, thank you for asking nicely.” Elsa didn’t know what to do. Her consoling hug was rejected and she couldn’t catch Anna before her sister plopped down by her boots and refused to move. Elsa really didn’t want to count. It was scarring for everyone involved.</p><p>“God, why couldn’t You make it rain?” Elsa sighed. “It’s not hard right? It’s just water falling from the–”</p><p>Inspiration struck her like a lightning bolt.</p><p>Elsa crouched down until she was level with Anna. Her sister stared back, pouty lower lip fully extended.</p><p>“Anna, I know I promised it would rain. I’m really sorry that it didn’t happen the way we thought it would, but are you willing to let me try something?”</p><p>The girl turned away, face scrunched angrily.</p><p>“Pleeeeaasssse.”</p><p>Anna’s shoulders dropped. “Okay. Because you said please.”</p><p>“Thank you!” Elsa beamed, swooping in to place a kiss on Anna’s head. “Okay, stay here. I’m going to have to use my big sister powers for this.” She cracked her knuckles, making a show if it. Checking one last time that Anna would stay put, Elsa ran to the master bath, snatching her phone along the way. She figured Spotify would have an excellent selection of white noise and she was not disappointed. She looped a Thunderstorm playlist, waiting for her phone to connect to the house’s surround sound speakers.</p><p>She closed the door to the bathroom, laid out all the towels she could find, and turned the shower on. Before their parents had passed away, they’d remodeled their entire master bath. As luck would have it, they both loved rain shower heads, and outfitted the settings to vary temperature, pressure, direction, and even droplet size.</p><p>The perfect indoor rain storm.</p><p>“Please work, please work, please work,” Elsa chanted, pressing play.</p><p>She didn’t hear anything at first, then a crackle of thunder echoed over the speakers.</p><p>“Anna! You’re never going to believe this, it’s <em>raining</em>!”</p><p>There was a brief pause before Anna came barreling through the house with the speed and grace of a newborn puppy. Her boots were already on.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. To All A Good Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Christmas Eve night and all the family is off to bed, ready and eager to open presents the next day. Anna knows that the greatest present she could ever receive is Elsa, and she's lucky to already have her.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Anna dropped down on her knees to give her baby cousin a hug goodnight. “Sleep well snuggle bug, Santa will be here before you know it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think he got me?” The little girl asked, voice faint with excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll have to wait until morning to find out, and no peeking,” Anna added, pretending to be stern. “You might scare him away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t scare Santa Claus,” the girl giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not,” Anna rubbed the top of her cousin’s head good naturedly, “but don’t peek anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you give Elsa a hug for me too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Elsa?” Anna’s eyebrows rose. “You already gave her one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know but, I really like her.” The girl shuffled her feet, embarrassed. “She was really nice to me and made the best paper snowflakes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The </span>
  <em>
    <span>best</span>
  </em>
  <span> snowflakes?” Anna looked aghast. “That definitely merits at least one hug. Do you trust me with such an honor, Master Maddy?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maddy crossed her arms, scrutinizing her elder cousin before sighing with great magnitude. “I would rather do it myself, but seeing as you don’t have a bedtime, I’ll have to trust you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And with that vote of confidence,” Anna stood. “Off to bed, I’ll see you in the morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Elsa?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna smiled. “And Elsa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maddy bounced cheerfully before saying goodnight, joining her family in one of the many guest bedrooms. Anna waited a moment to make sure she stayed put. When everything was silent she walked quietly downstairs to the main floor. As she reached the landing she glanced into the adjacent living room. The Christmas holiday was in full swing, and with midnight fast approaching the house lights had been doused to leave only the dim, twinkling ones on the tree and mantle. A fire glowed merrily in the hearth, crackling muffled behind the protective layer of glass. She continued into the kitchen, finding her mother packaging the last few desserts. Anna swiped a cookie just as Idunn closed the lid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good party?” Idunn asked without missing a beat, stacking the tupperware with the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better than last year,” Anna replied, chewing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say that every year.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s because it’s true every year.” Anna countered, taking a last bite and wiping her hands on her jeans. “We Andersons really know how to throw a party.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re easy to please, that’s for sure.” Idunn put her hands on her hips, surveying the dark room. “Winter games, baked goods, wine for the adults, juice for the kids, chocolate–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>So</span>
  </em>
  <span> much chocolate,” Anna groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As if you’re complaining,” Idunn teased, halting her daughter’s guilty hand halfway to the brownie pan. “Oh go on,” Idunn waved her hand, “it’s Christmas after all. Will you be staying up?” Anna confirmed that she would through a mouthful of food. “Then I’ll leave the fire and lights on. It should die down by the time you go to bed, just keep an eye on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will, thanks Mom.” Anna helped Idunn clear the rest of the kitchen before giving her a hug. “Say goodnight to Dad for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, sweetie.” Idunn kissed her forehead. “You do the same to Elsa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That makes two of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not surprised in the least. She’s a charming, smart, lovely young lady and I think everyone enjoyed her company.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna’s shoulders dropped in relief. “That’s good. I wasn’t worried. I mean– I was, a little, we were worried that, y’know…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Idunn squeezed Anna’s shoulder. “But go find her, I’m sure she’s waiting for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the plan! Night Mom, see you tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good night, dear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alone, Anna sagged against the corner, taking a moment to rest. She’d been on her feet and on her toes for the past six hours, and despite her reputation, spunk and soda only gets her so far. Especially when paired with the lethargic effects of warm food and fast friends. The silence was pressing in a comfortable way, knowing everyone was asleep or getting there. A peace had settled over the house, and for a moment Anna knew what those old lyricists were talking about when they wrote Silent Night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent a quick text to Elsa. From the direction she’d entered came a muted buzz and a startled hiss. A slightly winded Elsa found her eyes as she approached, hand clawed over the cell phone resting on her chest. “Don’t bother reading that, I found you.” Elsa’s head fell back on the armrest of the couch. Judging by how she was covered in blankets Anna guessed she’d caught her girlfriend seconds from falling asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa made room for her, scooting backwards to sit upright so the blanket dropped around her waist. “Was that your mom in the kitchen?” She yawned, covering her mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I was just helping her cleaning up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s,” she yawned again, “nice of you. Your whole family is nice. You hit the nice jackpot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna patted Elsa’s knee, chuckling quietly. “So you had a good time then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh of course!” Elsa propped her chin on her hands, a sleepy smile appearing. “The food was excellent, the games were fun but not overwhelming, and the kids; Anna your cousins are too cute. They were loud but gentle and were obsessed with my hair. I know this kind of blonde is rare but… well I suppose your family has a lot of red and brown so this is pretty out there. Did you know they sneaked me chocolates? A whole supply of them, for the whole party. You didn’t set them up did you?” Anna shook her head, beaming from ear to ear. “Really?” Elsa asked suspiciously. “Maybe it was that little girl. Maddy? Yes that’s it – we talked for almost an hour about snow while we cut out paper snowflakes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna nodded, remembering how she’d popped into this very room to check on Elsa only to find the two girls thoroughly engaged with their task and conversation. “She said yours were the best. Which reminds me.” Anna fell on top of Elsa without warning, drawing a strangled ‘oomf’. She wrapped her arms around what she could, face close to Elsa’s neck. “This is from her. She wanted to say goodnight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, that’s so sweet. But,” Elsa grunted, tugging her hands free from under Anna’s body, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> isn’t nearly as heavy and probably wouldn’t be laying on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna snuggled closer, curling her knees up until she felt Elsa’s feet, effectively trapping her. “She said I had to make it extra good since it couldn’t be her. Oh and this,” Anna squeezed  Elsa with her whole body, “is from my mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This seems a little unfair,” Elsa protested. “I have no way to hug them back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t shoot the messenger,” Anna placated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Elsa murmured, running a hand through Anna’s hair. “I’d rather keep the messenger alive and well.” Anna leaned into her touch, a warm glow in her chest. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the Elsa she’d missed during the party.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keeping their relationship a secret had been a unanimous albeit difficult decision. Of course they wanted to be open, but having had problems arise before, they didn't want to risk it. Anna's parents knew, and she thanked her lucky stars that they'd been so supportive and helpful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa continued stroking her head. “I really do have to thank your mom though. She was almost gloriously sneaky tonight.” Anna snickered as Elsa adopted Idunn’s motherly tone of voice. “‘Anna would you mind grabbing some extra seats from downstairs? We seem to be short a few. Oh, Elsa’s going with you? That’s so nice of her.’ Or her pulling you aside, ‘It’s almost time for dessert, could you grab the pies and ice cream from the garage? And Elsa dear could you go with her to make sure they arrive in one piece?’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh har har, very funny. But you’re right, she’s an expert at giving us an out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa agreed. “Her crowning achievement was probably getting us away from your aunt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna winced. “Yeah, sorry about that. She’s pretty nosy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was, but if she hadn’t been I wouldn’t have seen your neighborhood covered in snow.” Elsa sighed wistfully. “There’s just something about the cold air and deep quiet that exists during winter. It’s one of a kind.” Elsa leaned her head against Anna’s. “And it’s even better with someone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the quiet, no one can hear you kiss your girlfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Anna</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Elsa laughed, pulling away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? It’s true,” Anna teased, sitting up on her arms. Elsa was now directly beneath her, all but covered by Anna’s body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well it’s quiet now,” Elsa murmured, eyes changing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Anna observed nonchalantly, “so it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The firelight lit up Elsa’s hair like a halo, soft and warm. The flickering pop of wood fell to the background, Anna’s weight all the comfort Elsa needed. Anna came forward. Elsa took a breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yawned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna sputtered. “Sorry,” Elsa bit out, exhaling heavily into her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, you must be really tired.” As if something so silly could make Anna anything but cheerful. “We can go to bed if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa shook her head. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to spend time with you, but I don’t want to fall asleep on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Anna grinned. “I’ve heard I make a great pillow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa poked Anna’s stomach. “You know what I meant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know for sure we’ve got left over hot chocolate mix,” Anna said after a moment of thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa hummed appreciatively. “That sounds amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hot chocolate it is. Do you want yours dipped?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa’s eyes lit up. “Yes please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be right back.” Anna dove in to place a kiss on Elsa’s cheek. “Try not to fall asleep, Dashing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa snorted as she walked away. “Whatever you say, Summers.” Anna smacked her sweater right over her stomach, indicating the smiling snowman stitched in white. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Anderson family had a long tradition of every person wearing ugly Christmas sweaters simply for the joy of it. Anna smiled to herself as she retrieved the cocoa mix from the pantry, remembering that when Elsa agreed to come she’d immediately taken them thrift shopping to find the worst ones. It had been a surprisingly difficult decision – who knew there were so many horrible sweaters? Elsa chose one with a reindeer that said ‘Dasher’ in large green letters, earning her the immediate pet name of ‘Dashing’. “What? You are.” Elsa had blushed prettily and flicked her hand, indicating Anna should try on hers. Her girlfriend’s not so secretive love for snowmen got her a dark blue sweater with a little snow creature surrounded by flowers, earning her own nickname ‘Summers’ for the irony of a snowman in such a warm season. They’d referred to each other as such throughout the evening, much to the confusion of the guests and the mirth of Anna’s parents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A snatch of Mariah Carey got stuck in her head as Anna heated milk. She sang it under her breath, pouring a thin layer of caramel onto a plate for the mugs. ‘Dipped’ was her family’s way of referring to a sugar-coated rim, and if Anna had anything to say about it that would be the only way anyone ever drank, well, anything. The caramel made the sea salt, sugar mix stick to the edge of the cup and added a delectable taste to an already fabulous drink. Mugs prepared, Anna stopped the stove timer a second before it went off, mixed the milk into the chocolate, stirred, and took them back into the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blanket was folded over the back of the couch, Elsa alert and expectant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Elsa took the mug from her and cupped it to her chest. “Mmm, smells amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope so, I put in extra powder.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you always?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna paused, mug halfway to her mouth. “Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And don’t you always burn yourself on the first–? Yeah.” Elsa hid her snicker behind her cup at Anna sticking her tongue out, waving her hand quickly in front of her mouth. “Oh Anna,” Elsa murmured, taking a much smaller and more cautious sip, “never change.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though they’d spent the entire night no more than an arm's length apart, Anna was still eager to hear what Elsa had thought of it all, and listened attentively to her stories. For her, this was almost as nerve-wracking as the first time she’d brought Elsa home period, half hope and half soul-rending terror. But it seemed she had nothing to fear. Elsa reached for her hand when she came to her the part of the night they’d felt the most scared and most happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remember thinking we were going to blow it and have to come out right then and there. But I couldn’t bring myself to let go of you. Holding hands beneath the table,” Elsa shook her head fondly. “I never knew we were that cliche.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s lucky that you’re a lefty,” Anna smiled, rubbing that back of Elsa’s hand. “We were able to use our dominant hands for eating. I honestly don’t think we aroused suspicion the entire time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except for Maddy,” Elsa grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna hesitated. “We’re going to have to tell her, aren’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think she already knows,” Elsa said softly. “She may not have the words for it but she’s smart. We might have to tell her to keep it to herself though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First thing in the morning then.” They shared a exhale, laced with worry, happiness, and everything inbetween. Elsa’s eyes turned stormy.  Anna knew she was probably imagining a worst case scenario. “Hey,” Anna whispered. “Come here.” Elsa crawled over after placing her mug on the floor, turning on Anna’s prompting to lay on her back. Anna cradled her to her chest, wrapping her legs around Elsa’s and her arms across Elsa’s waist. Elsa thread her fingers through Anna’s and nestled back. She took a steadying breath, feeling Anna bump her head into the back of her own, a wordless sign of affection she’d come to savor as a part of Anna’s love language. Touch meant the world to them both, and she never felt safer than when between Anna’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna kissed her hair. “Don’t worry about it; she’s a good kid. Everything will work out.” Muscle by muscle Elsa relaxed. Anna could feel her heartbeat slowing with each passing second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna reached down for her and searched for her cup, finding the handle with a bump of her fingers. She brought it to her lips, only to realize she’d finished it on her last drink. Disappointed, she almost missed Elsa turning her head to plant a kiss on the side of her nose, the only thing she could effectively reach in her position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now you’re the quiet one,” she said, voice calm but firm. “What’s troubling you, love?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pang of guilt throbbed in her chest and Anna was momentarily grateful Elsa couldn’t see her face. “It’s really nothing, promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa turned again and caught Anna’s hand out of the corner of her eye. Anna felt the laugh more than she heard it. “You’re out of hot chocolate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you it was no big deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can go get more if you want.” Elsa made as if to sit up but Anna tightened her grip around Elsa’s waist and locked her legs. “Okay okay,” Elsa yielded. “Then you and I can share what’s left of mine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In answer, Elsa took one of Anna’s hands and helped her find Elsa’s mug beneath them. Anna grinned where Elsa couldn’t see, taking a small portion carefully from the opposite side of where Elsa had drank, evidenced by the missing sugar glaze. They exchanged back and forth between hand holding and nudges, erasing the rim sip by sip. A game developed between them: who would take the last piece. Anna intended to let Elsa win of course, it was her chocolate. But as she took the cup and found there was only one piece left, she began to realize Elsa’s lips had been everywhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was suddenly profoundly and irrationally jealous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa sensed her disquiet. She twisted, body flush with Anna’s so their stomachs touched and her hands found themselves on either side of Anna’s chest. “I think I win.” Anna’s breath caught. Elsa’s voice was low, fatigue gone from her eyes and the fire was working it’s magic on her hair once again. In turn, Elsa found herself mesmerised by the way the firelight brought out the green in Anna’s eyes. Anna slowly licked the last of the sugar off without breaking eye contact. Elsa inhaled sharply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna put the mug down, entirely forgotten as she watched Elsa’s gaze flick down to her lips. Elsa cupped her jaw, smiling when Anna caressed her neck. Elsa tasted like sugar and chocolate, kissing with a tenderness that reminded Anna she had nothing to fear from a simple cup.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Idunn tiptoed downstairs, ready to begin making Christmas brunch. Her husband followed soon after, almost stumbling into his wife who seemed to have stopped in the doorway of the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Adgar,” Idunn whispered out the side of her mouth, “go get the camera. Go!” She insisted when Adgar stepped closer to see what the fuss was about. Her husband gone, Idunn stepped into the room, hand covering a smile brought on by the pureness of the scene before her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elsa had fallen asleep on Anna, who in turn had fallen asleep on the couch. Elsa’s head rested on her daughter’s chest, rising and falling evenly with Anna’s breathing. One arm hung loosely over the side, a contrast to Anna’s which was flung above her head and over the armrest. Both had in some way tucked their remaining hand somewhere under or over the other – Anna’s around Elsa’s waist and, though she couldn’t see it, Idunn suspected Elsa’s was beneath Anna’s back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two used coffee mugs sat on the floor between them.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wrote this piece for and elsanna secret santa YEARS ago - so long ago that I found it in my documents while looking for something else. It was originally for @elsanna-ruined-me (on tumblr, I'm not sure if they had/have an ao3) but I'm hoping they won't mind me uploading it here regardless. It's cute, it's fluffy, it's sappy, just like the holigays.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Kiss Prompt List, #5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Got ahold of a 50 Kisses Prompt list and, well I'm a sucker. This is #5: Throwing their arms around the other person’s neck, hugging them close before kissing them passionately on the lips</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elsa waved to the taxi backing out of the driveway. The night was creeping into its wee hours, sunlight only a few hours away, and Elsa sent a wish out to the universe that the driver got home with the same speed and care as they’d ferried her.</p><p>Finally, she was home.</p><p>It felt like she’d spent all week dreaming about the modest little two story she and Anna had moved into on their second anniversary. The place was always in the back of her mind during meetings, coffee breaks, travel from venue to venue - but most of all at night when she was certain her co-workers were binging Netflix or making home-cooked meals, she would sit in front of her computer and feel the absence of someone next to her, someone who was always looking over her shoulder and asking her questions, someone who would always bring a mug of tea with her to share. So of course, the entire plane ride back had been borderline excruciating, knowing that in just a handful of hours Elsa would be back where she belonged.</p><p>Keys jingled into her hand and she silenced them with a press of her fingers, turning the lock as quietly as possible. She knew Anna’s job always required her to get up early, much to her body’s dismay, and Elsa did not wish to wake her if she could help it. Anna was pretty much the opposite of a morning person, though as bad as Elsa might feel watching her wife get up, she <em> did </em> enjoy the zombie-like, goose-stepping daily routine Anna had on her way to the shower. The shower never did anything to actually <em> rouse </em>her, instead resulting in a damp, sleepy-eyed redhead fumbling around for an outfit in the early light of dawn.</p><p>The entryway was dark, and even darker still when she shut the door. Her purse came off her shoulder with a shrug, the suitcase was muted gently by the rug. Silently she pulled her shoes off, rubbing away a little soreness, then reached up to unpin her hair with a relaxed sigh. She rolled her head and stretched her arms over her head. The last flutter of anxiety in her heart finally quieted with the familiar smell of home and she breathed deep.</p><p>And then her stomach rumbled when she realized that wasn’t the only thing she could smell.</p><p>She should probably just wait for breakfast. No doubt Anna would have a special one planned, she always did. Chocolate morsel pancakes, fresh battered french toast, bite-sized strawberries from the farmer’s market, newly-steeped black tea with a smidge of honey and a splash of cream. Anna knew all of Elsa’s favorites, and was always of the opinion that more was better. “Why pick from your favorites when I can make them all?” she’d say with a grin that lit up her eyes and made Elsa’s heart remember why she’d fallen in love with her.</p><p>But whatever Anna had made smelled practically <em> divine</em>. Probably gone though, Elsa pouted. Anna always ate like she hadn’t seen food in a week, gleefully devouring whatever was put in front of her with gusto, even if she’d had it a thousand times. If she especially loved a dish she’d try over and over again to replicate it at home. Here she was critical of her work, but rarely ever short of her goal. Elsa was the ever patient and enthusiastic taste tester - called from across the room, or her office, or the living room - to sample a spoonful or ponder over a mouthful. The answer was always, “Delicious” or “Spectacular” or “Hmmm, I don’t know, I might need another taste to be sure”, which always earned her a cheeky smile. But it was always true and Elsa proved it to her every time by eating every last bite.</p><p>Elsa crept towards the kitchen, pausing only briefly in surprise when she noticed the light was on. They <em> had </em> talked about leaving at least one lit when they weren’t home to dissuade burglars, but that was usually the living room or the stairwell. She peeked around the corner, curious.</p><p>The reason was immediately obvious.</p><p>Anna was asleep at the kitchen table, head dropped into her crossed arms, snoring softly into her elbow. A half filled mug sat in front of her, as well as tupperware containers misted over by the dinner she had packed but left out. A second set of silverware lay across from her, untouched but ready for use. A glass was also prepared, though considering the amount of water in it, probably had ice in it first.</p><p>As Elsa got closer she sniffed the coffee mug, a soft smile on her lips as at the amount of sugar and cream that had to be in there. To say Anna had a sweet tooth was a bit of an understatement; it was more like she had a mouth full of sweet <em> teeth </em>that rejected any and all bitterness, which included coffee. She tested the temperature with the back of her hand - lukewarm at best. But Anna had drank half of it, which meant…</p><p>She’d waited up for Elsa, knowing she’d be home soon. Fallen asleep yes, but waited all the same, despite the hour and the early alarm clock. Fighting fatigue with caffeine, and probably some of her home brewed stubbornness.</p><p>Warmth flooded Elsa’s chest as she drank in the sight, cementing it in memory. It was times like these that Elsa thanked her lucky stars for the day she met Anna, and that despite everything, she’d stayed. Having a house was one thing, but Elsa had always known that Anna was her home before anything else.</p><p>“You really are an angel, aren’t you?” Elsa murmured, moving to Anna’s side. She smoothed a few hairs behind Anna’s ear before stroking the top of her head. Anna sighed in her sleep, repositioning. Elsa bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Wake up, Anna. You don’t want to sleep here, your back is <em> not </em>going to be happy with you in the morning.”</p><p>“Mmmmmmmm….,” Anna hummed drowsily.</p><p>“Come on,” Elsa leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Anna’s temple. She switched to massaging Anna’s shoulders, easing her into wakefulness. “Let’s get you to bed.”</p><p>Anna’s eyes fluttered open, roaming Elsa’s face in slow patterns until recognition softened her eyes for an entirely different reason and she smiled lazily. “You’re home,” Anna said quietly.</p><p>“I’m home.” Elsa squeezed Anna into a hug, a little awkward because of the chair Anna was sitting on but that didn’t matter.</p><p>It became a non-issue when Anna stood abruptly, taking Elsa into her arms for a fierce embrace, throwing her arms around her neck and pulling her close. Elsa was a bit taken aback but only for a second as she returned the hug. She’d <em> missed </em> how Anna felt in her arms, how she fit between them perfectly, how they breathed in sync, losing themselves in the one they loved.</p><p>Anna pulled back just long enough to adjust her hold on Elsa before leaning in for a kiss. Oh, how Elsa had missed <em> this </em>even more. And apparently, so had Anna.</p><p>It started out chaste enough, but then the kiss deepened suddenly and Elsa had to remind herself to breathe as Anna unwound her braid and buried her fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck. Elsa made a small sound against Anna’s lips and she felt Anna smile in reply, the one that was more like a smirk, like she was getting away with something. Anna’s other hand started to roam, skimming her ribs, her waist, and settling on her hip. It was only when those hands moved again, a little lower, and <em> squeezed</em>, that Elsa gasped and they parted, catching their breaths.</p><p>“Well,” Elsa said diplomatically, “that’s one way to say, ‘Welcome back’.”</p><p>Anna’s hand hadn’t moved an inch, and she still had that same lopsided smile. “I missed my wife,” she stated simply.</p><p>“I missed you too.”</p><p>Anna moved forward, kissing Elsa again. It was sweet and tender, but Elsa could still taste that simmering heat just below the surface.</p><p>“It’s late, Anna,” Elsa tried, attempting to stave off the inevitable.</p><p>“You were the one trying to get me into bed,” Anna purred, following Elsa’s mouth as she turned her head slightly.</p><p>Elsa chuckled, letting the sound get swallowed by Anna’s lips. “You scamp, how long were you awake?”</p><p>“Long enough.” Anna wasn’t in a hurry anymore, but she did have a <em> goal </em>, and the longer she had Elsa in her arms, the less likely they would be sleeping in the next hour. Or maybe two. “I was having the most incredible dream,” she explained between kisses, between Elsa’s pleasured groans. “This angel walked in the door and sat down across from me to eat dinner, and tell me about her trip halfway across the world. How her wings were tired but she was glad she had somewhere to rest and good food to eat. Imagine my surprise when I wake up to find that angel thinks I am one too.”</p><p>Elsa rolled her eyes, smacking Anna’s hand which made her laugh. “You’re a complete and utter <em> sap</em>.”</p><p>“Takes one to know one.” Anna swooped in to plant another kiss on Elsa’s cheek, but was stopped by a massive, chest shuddering yawn.</p><p>“Alright,” Elsa reeled back as far as Anna’s hands would allow, “it’s <em> definitely </em> time for bed.”</p><p>“But Elsa,” Anna whined, trying to worm her head under Elsa’s chin.</p><p>“No b-.” Elsa herself was interrupted by a yawn of her own and gestured helplessly at Anna. “Now you’ve got me started too,” she managed when she could finally talk. “At this rate we’ll fall asleep on the floor.”</p><p>“Will not,” Anna countered, but Elsa heard the telltale sound of yet another yawn being fought behind her words. Anna closed her eyes with the effort of keeping it in, and when she opened them her usual green was tempered by the grey of exhaustion.</p><p>Elsa pressed a kiss to Anna’s nose before stepping out of her reach. She put away dinner and cleaned up the dishware, setting everything to rights. Tomorrow they’d get a second chance at a shared meal, but right now, she was craving soft pillows, warm blankets, and her favorite person to cuddle with until she woke up to sunbeams in her hair. Elsa had made a joke about the floor, but by the looks of it Anna was fading fast. Whatever second wind she’d gotten upon waking up was crashing back down on her in all of it’s shoulder slumping, head bobbing glory.</p><p>Tasks finished, Elsa hugged Anna to her again, speaking over her shoulder. “Thank you for staying up for me. That really means a lot.” Anna nodded and made a sound that probably should have been words, or coherent, but they weren’t either. Elsa took Anna by the hand and led her upstairs.</p><p>Twenty minutes later Elsa was tucked under the covers of their shared bed, curled on her side with Anna at her back. Her wife’s hand draped comfortably over her waist, fingers entwined with Elsa’s. She could feel Anna’s even breathing against her spine, a white noise that no app or mix could ever beat. After a week of restless sleep, Elsa drifted off with the knowledge that walking through the front door was one thing, but arriving home was far, <em> far </em>better.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Drop me a number if you like these, there are 50 prompts after all</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Great Knight Annatorias, The Abyss Walker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Soulsborne!Frozen crossover? Soulsborne!Frozen crossover. Inspired by art on twitter and tumblr (which I will link) and just me being generally enamored by the story of Great Knight Artotias, Sif, and that whole sad basket</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is <a class="hVK3L" href="https://jabs-wocks.tumblr.com/">@jabs-wocks</a> and <a class="hVK3L" href="https://daughterofhel.tumblr.com/">@daughterofhel</a>’s (<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterOfHel/pseuds/DaughterOfHel">Ao3 here!</a>) fault but I’m also @-ing myself because apparently I don’t need much encouragement to write stories sometimes so…</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>Before getting started, this entire brain-on-fire, sleep depriving idea, was inspired by <strong><a href="https://azaffranist.tumblr.com/post/618045373512138752/i-had-this-idea-and-couldnt-go-on-with-my-life">two </a></strong>pieces <a href="https://azaffranist.tumblr.com/post/185662696385/alltheswordsforanna-anna-fell-into-the-abyss-and"><strong>by</strong></a> <a class="hVK3L" href="https://azaffranist.tumblr.com/">@azaffranist</a> and one by twitter user <a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fagongbushou%2Fstatus%2F1260247089000275969&amp;t=YjQ4N2QyYThjODc4NGU1NTlkYTY5NjUzOGNmZTIyMmQ2OGMzOTA1ZCxjOTZkZjBmNWM2YzZkZDYwNjY2NGFhZTAyNDRjNGUxYmI4NzJmNzEx"><strong>@agongbushou</strong></a>. I highly recommend checking the linked art out before reading, since I reference them at times directly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Okay Soulsborne!Frozen au, Anna is Knight Artorias, legendary fighter, sent to the Abyss to seek and destroy the Darkness of the world itself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>No pressure or anything.</p>
  <hr/>
  <p>Anna is a brave hearted woman, shoulder to shoulder with those who fought and killed nigh immortal dragons. Her kind pluck such foul creatures from the sky with arrows larger than trees, with lightning more forked than a hurricane, and slay enemies with the kindness of silver and gold-tipped daggers.</p>
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p>Her own mighty broadsword swings over her left shoulder with ease, a smile on her lips as she walks. The Age of Fire is upon them, but there is fear in the hearts of the gods, and to save those who would, without help, succumb to the evil inside of them Great Knight Anna will stop at nothing.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>There are monsters to kill, perverted and misguided souls, each one more disturbing and profane than the last, as each is born from the Abyss itself, a dark, treacherous place where no mortal would dare tread. The city of Oolacile is threatened, sinking slowly into Darkness as an ancient, promethean man eats it from the inside out.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>But Anna holds courage in her heart, and should she need a reminder of strength or solace, she need only look to her right and Elsa, her direwolf companion, is next to her, ice-blue eyes speaking more than a voice ever could. Her pure white fur makes the Darkness shrink, her frost-like Light magic a boon in the most murky corridor. Elsa has a nose for danger, and can conjure crystals to warn of dangerous earth, poisoned water, a new rash of weather over the mountains, or the lurking threat of fire. Her pelt is soft and warm, and in the mountains where they camp she’s as cozy as a bonfire, her fluffy tail wrapped around Anna’s middle as the Knight snoozes against her side.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>With such skill and determination, and pureness of heart, Anna is more than well equipped to fight the Darkness, especially when Elsa is with her every step of the way.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>The Abyss calls itself Manus and it is a nightmare.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>For the first time, Anna is overwhelmed. She is battered against the walls of this cave, she is clawed and crushed and flogged with fists of pure Darkness. Her ears ring with primal screams. Elsa’s magic is no more effective than her teeth, and Anna watches as her companion lunges at the Manus’ middle, watches how the Darkness warps impossibly, sees a hand of incredible size form above Elsa’s unprotected back. Anna moves.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She does not feel her arm shatter (that pain will come later) but she <em>hears</em> it, cracking and shredding and splintering, heedless of muscle and skin.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>The shield’s magic forces Manus back, screeching into the Dark. A brief respite.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa pants hard, the concussive force of the hit rattling already exhausted bones, empty of energy and magic. Anna knows Elsa will not survive another blow. She is still young, a pup, and deserves to grow, large and strong. A pelt, <em>a life</em>, as bright as Elsa’s should not be swallowed by the Dark.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Anna speaks the runes and the shield ignites with Light, protecting Elsa from the Abyss forever, but also protecting Elsa from following Anna as she hefts her greatsword in her off hand and limps back towards the sound of Manus’ roars. She closes her ears to Elsa’s pitiful cries.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>The Dark would not claim another victim.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>But it does.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>-----</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>
      <em>Whatever thou art, stay away.</em>
    </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>
      <em>Soon I will be consumed by ‘Them’, by the Dark.</em>
    </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>
      <em>All of you… forgive me. For I have availed you nothing.</em>
    </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>-----</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Hundreds of years later Elsa’s ears pick up the sound of an interloper in the graveyard. She rouses herself, shaking rainwater from her coat. The snowflake mark on her brow has dulled, no longer lively purple but a morose kind of brown, the color of bloodied earth long dry.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa is tired. Thieves keep coming to steal what is most precious to her. Could they not see the weapons of their fellows littered on the ground? Monuments to greed, pillars of failure each one of them, a blade planted vertically in the dirt next to small, unmarked headstones. Don’t they see? They seek an object that will only kill them, the wicked artifact that allowed Anna to walk into the Abyss unharmed, only for claws of black to tear her asunder. The cursed item that allowed Anna’s fate.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>No one should have the power to throw themselves so willingly onto Death’s sword.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>As the thief approaches Anna’s enormous headstone, reaches their hand out to touch Anna’s greatsword, Elsa makes her presence known. She is a formidable sight: a fully grown Great Wolf, she towers, mountainous, over this puny looter. Anger shoots through Elsa, igniting her limbs as she leaps down and tears Anna’s weapon from the dirt. Again. To stop one so desperate to kill themselves. <em>Again</em>.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa howls at the moon, anguish and guilt and fury clashing within her.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>
      <em>Let Anna rest, her work is done. Do not walk in her footsteps, as there lies only suffering.</em>
    </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She repositions the sword in her mouth and swings, long and sweeping as she has seen Anna do many times before.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Blood stains the rocky headstones in crimson arcs.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>----</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa awakes yet again and everything has changed.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>It is dark, unnaturally so. There is no graveyard, there are no trees, no whisper of wind through her coat. She is flat on her back and there is a strange man in a wheelchair to her right, telling her things. Yharnam? An Outsider? He mentions blood and suddenly Elsa’s nose is filled with it, cloying and pressing against her. How had she not noticed it before?</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>How also had she not noticed she was strapped to a bed?</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>He begins his so-called transfusion and Elsa sees that her feet do not end in paws and her tail is missing. Her teeth are no longer sharp as she tests them with her tongue and her muzzle does not like to growl but to grumble, too short to carry the sound forward.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>But she does not have time to contemplate this as her vision blurs and she falls backwards into the dark once more.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>A Beast of blood emerges from the floor but Elsa feels no kinship with it. The Beast is twisted and wrong, and as it reaches out to touch her it bursts into flame, screaming. Perhaps her Light magic still works here… or perhaps Anna’s shield is still bound to her, after all this time. For surely that creature is borne of the Abyss.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>So too must these small pygmy-like wretches crawling up her stomach and chest. Fear jolts through Elsa’s heart as these pale things are not deflected by magic and instead reach her head and cover her eyes. A voice whispers in her mind.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“<em>Ah… you’ve found a hunter…</em>”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Anna?</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>The Hunter’s Dream is serene and soft compared to the Night eating Yharnam alive. Here there are flowers, a pleasant breeze that does not carry wails, and though there are graves it seems a peaceful place of rest for all, not just the dead.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>And this is where Elsa finds her.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Anna. Her Knight, her long lost friend, lying against the garden wall. Her eyes are closed, peaceful in sleep. Elsa approaches with great joy but… something is wrong.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Anna… doesn’t smell like Anna. Elsa presses her nose against the woman’s cheek, just to be sure, but is chastised by the man inside a house at the top of the steps, the one who must have brought her here. Elsa remembers a piercing pain in her chest followed by a long dark like a heavy blanket, deep and inevitable. Perhaps she died the night of the thief, and this world is simply the next one. Anna, or perhaps not-Anna, has not stirred in the slightest to Elsa’s presence, and with another beckoning of the old man, Elsa realizes this is a mystery to be put aside for the moment. Besides, Anna is peaceful in this state, and… she was not peaceful the last time Elsa saw her. Maybe this is where she has been sleeping all along, as Elsa watched over her grave in the other world.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa slowly gets used to walking on two legs, though she always misses her tail, expecting it on the back of her calves every other step. She is both taller and shorter than she feels she should be but the little pygmies do not laugh when she misses her target because of this. In fact they are friendly, bringing her trinkets at times. She understands them a little, as they too are non-verbal. Human language still eludes her, though Elsa realizes she has now, the ability to speak it, as clearly and easily as she used to speak to Anna with just her movements. No one seems to mind her silence, and in turn she feels no need to break it.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Except for the Doll.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>That’s what the man calls her, the not-Anna. Now awake, she is kind and gentle, and while her warmth kindles familiarity in Elsa’s soul, it is not enough like the bonfire of a spirit Knight Anna always possessed. Though she shares Anna’s face, her voice is thinner, like a creek through reeds, shallow like music from another room. If this is what her Anna has been reduced to, then Elsa will care for her as she always has, her silent companion. But it is the only time Elsa wishes she could speak, align her muzzle and teeth and tongue in the right order for speech. But she, the Doll… Anna… this woman, seems to read Elsa’s eyes well enough, and always wishes her wellness and luck in her hunts.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>The Yharnam Elsa now stalks may be new, but it is not unfamiliar. There are monsters here too, but they are not undead but Beasts, sick like the Darkness made humans sick. The town conjures a feeling of familiar unease, it is like Oolacile being consumed all over again. Elsa has been given a strange blade: a cane-sword, they called it a trick weapon. It has a different kind of grace than Anna’s greatsword, but Elsa can admire its stinging, erratic bite as it curls around shields and tears flesh with the same ease as her old jaw.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa resigns herself to the Doll, this copy of Anna, a pale comparison but not an unkind one. Until the day she learns of Lady Anna, an Old Hunter, experienced slayer, and roaming ghost of Yharnam. The man tells Elsa that Lady Anna wishes to exterminate Beasts so that people can live in peace, forever, and she is as ruthless as she is discerning, relentless in her quest. Even the Doll has nothing but admiration in her too-soft voice for this person.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa needs to meet this her, and sets out immediately. She sounds… very much like Great Knight Anna: firmly set in her beliefs and desire for goodness and peace in her grisly work, but Elsa swallows the glass-like shards of hope rising in her throat. Disappointment would be its own kind if dying.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She finds her in the Clock Tower. The likeness is uncanny, but if the Doll was an enthusiastic replacement, this body was a carbon copy. The swallowed glass gets lodged, stabbing into Elsa’s heart, but still, she dared not hope. This person, Lady Anna, was so… still. Knight Anna was never still, so much boundless energy, so much eagerness, the will to do good, to make safe haven, sometimes even robbed her of sleep. The woman sitting in a lonesome chair is not like that at all, she is calm, collected.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Perhaps she is dead.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Indeed, Lady Anna is covered in blood and Elsa does not see her chest breathe, not even an inch. Tentatively she reaches out a hand. Oh, now this would be cruel indeed - to find her Knight only for her to be dead and bloodless and empty of everything once again.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>The vice-like grip around her wrist shocks Elsa from her thoughts.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“A corpse… should be left well alone.” A corpse, a <em>corpse</em>!? But Lady Anna is so very alive and her voice--</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Unmistakable.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>But quickly Elsa realizes she’s fighting for her life. There’s so much noise and movement and blood, so much blood it reeks. Lady Anna’s swings seem to come from nowhere, fire igniting in the wake of every slash and it’s dazzling and swift and uncanny… and yet.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Her stance may be foreign but her prowess is not, she directs her weapons with grace and skill, and the blades dance towards Elsa’s throat with a precision borne from battle hardened assurance.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Just like a knight. Just like Anna with her greatsword.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Suddenly Lady Anna is upon her, grabbing Elsa’s collar and pulling, clutching Elsa to her chest. It’s rough and unfriendly but Elsa knows deep down this is new and startling for both of them. Anna’s breathing is ragged despite her absolute dominance over the battlefield, her voice shaking with some burdening magnitude.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I know you,” Lady Anna whispers in her ear.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>And Elsa, having not made a sound this entire time except in exhaustion or pain, gets her too short tongue working and too small teeth out of the way to say, “And I know you. You are Lady Anna, protector of Yharnam, slayer of the Darkness that lurks in the hearts of men to make them Beasts, and you have done well to make a name for yourself here. But all of that I know only because I found myself here, in a Dream. When I was young, and Awake, I knew you as Great Knight Anna, warrior against the Darkness <em>itself</em>, and you held in your powerful grip a sword as tall as you so that you could always slay something larger than yourself. It flashed as brightly as your smile until it could no more. And the last I saw you was when I had no shared language to warn you, no voice to scream in grief as your arm shattered and yielded to profane horror. Despite your broken body you used your only able limb to shield me against death itself, magical and eternal. But it kept me from you, and you walked back into the Dark where I could not follow and then there was the most terrible quiet. I saw someone go in afterwards, and only then did I hear your voice again, but as it was never meant to be: broken and hollow and defeated. Dark.”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Lady Anna’s hand shakes, her other poised over Elsa’s heart. It could drive right through her chest, seek the Beast in Elsa’s blood and rip it out. But perhaps it was there before the infusion, one of kindred spirit instead of illness and madness. Anna releases her hold without warning and Elsa’s knees hit the ground hard.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I… have felt a loneliness for so long,” Lady Anna says, almost to herself. “I have searched for years, every nook and cranny, guided by nothing but some deep knowledge of a phantom ‘other’ by my side, etched so deeply it could be in my very own blood. But this presence, this… twin soul, has never showed itself.” She looks at her swords. “They did not used to split, it was one weapon, until I could not stomach the void anymore. I threw it away, and fashioned these. They… somehow I knew I needed two. There were supposed to be two. Two… of… us.”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa goes to answer but the words tangle in her mouth, gargled and guttural and rough. Speech flees from her again, focus gone, and Elsa clutches her throat, gasping. Lady Anna twitches, hands tightening on her weapons.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Anna’s voice holds the tension of a tripwire. “You-... She... I gave someone a name once. My closest friend. She had unique Light magic: small diamonds, blue, beautiful.” Her eyes flash with her steel. “Show me. Tell me her name, or be not Hunter but Beast.”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>And Elsa does.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>The Clock Tower fills with floating diamonds, glittering and bright, etched with symbols of safety and protection and Light. They move and spin, arranging themselves into a shape, not a Yharnam rune but an older one, one only Anna would know. Elsa’s name in the language of the Age of Fire.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Anna drops her swords, clattering to the floor and embraces Elsa with arms so fierce and desperate that Elsa cannot breathe, until Anna’s shoulders slump and hitch with sobs and now Elsa holds Anna with tired, grateful hands.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I thought…,” Anna manages, trembling in Elsa’s grasp, “I thought it was a Dream. All that before… really happened.” Anna clutches at Elsa’s clothes, like burying fingers in thick fur, “I have missed you every moment of my death, including all the seconds from when I Awoke without you, until now.”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa wipes Anna’s tears away, clumsy in her joy but her eyes say everything her stubborn tongue won’t, and it is just like before, when she knows Anna understands her completely.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“In my defense,” Anna sniffs, regaining a bit of control, “I thought you’d be taller. And well, you <em>were</em> a wolf the last time we met.”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa can’t help but smile at that, lending Anna an arm as they stand. The smile turns into quite the wolfish grin indeed when they realize at the same time that Elsa is in fact, an inch or so taller than Anna.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“You really did grow up without me, didn’t you?” Anna says wistfully, as though to chastise for leaving her behind.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Elsa makes a huffing sound that they both know is laughter and presses her forehead against Anna’s.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Finally. Her Knight. Her Lady.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Her home.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>This time, neither will face the Darkness alone.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <hr/>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p><strong>aaaaaand we've got some <span class="u">Alternate Endings</span></strong>, courtesy of questions asked by daughterofhel (who patiently let me tell the ENTIRE story of Artorias and Sif AND the Good Hunter and the Doll and Lady Maria to contextualize this… entire… thing) From Software seems to like alternate endings, so why not here?</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>-Lady Maria!Anna is not immune to Beast blood like in canon and after joining up with Sif!Elsa actually succumbs to the plague and goes feral. Their roles are now reversed, Elsa is the badass Hunter with a Beast companion. They still know each other well enough to communicate but are ostracized from the other Hunters because Elsa refuses to kill Anna</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>-Because Elsa was a creature in her past life, the Beast blood takes hold very naturally, and it does not change her personality or sense of self. Lady Anna reclaims her greatsword trick weapon and travels Yharnam with Elsa by her side, now a were-beast. The magical snowflake on her forehead comes back and her fur is the same white/white-blonde as when she was a Great Wolf</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>-Lady Anna actually DOES rip Elsa’s heart out of her chest like that killer parry (for female Hunters only!), realizing seconds too late she has killed her life long friend who crossed time and space to find her. Distraught, Lady Anna consumes Elsa’s heart, drawing upon her vampiric, Vileblood ancestry to bond Elsa’s soul to hers. Other Hunters begin to hear rumors of a unique Beast stalking Yharnam, slaying it’s own kin and leaving behind oceans of blood. It has patchy red and white fur, a greatsword strapped to it’s back, and two different colored eyes: one green, one blue. Some even claim that it speaks to itself, though broken and twisted, and it will leave a trail of blue-glowing diamonds in areas safe to return to, lighting up the dark.</p>
    <ul>
<li>-Players who fight this Beast are startled to learn that the heat-up phase is actually the Beast transforming into a much smaller, very human figure who begins to wield the trick weapon on its back with swift, deadly, and ferocious attacks. The figure will sometimes scale walls and launch attacks from above, the air along the cut of the weapon’s blade igniting into flame and leaving explosive blue crystals behind. Upon the boss’s defeat the player gets double the amount of Blood Echoes they expect and as the person collapses a white soul emerges to entwine around a red one, dissipating into the ether together</li>
</ul>
  </div>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Listen Carefully</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Elsa rushes back to Arendelle after a letter arrives saying Anna has taken gravely ill.</p>
<p>Part of October Story Haul! Writing October/Halloween/Fall inspired stories - and while this one was *technically* written just before October, it still fits the theme. Received an ask prompt on Tumblr with the line, "Don't touch him/her".</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Don’t touch her,” the letter warned Elsa, delivered by Gale in a trip across the ice. Nokk had whinnied at the scent of its companion, but slowed to a halt when Elsa’s trembling began to shake her mount as well.</p>

<p></p><div class="">
  <p>“Don’t touch her,” the staff told Elsa as she hurried to her sister’s room, twin capes flying behind her, lending size to a courage she didn’t feel. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Don’t touch her,” Kristoff reminded her one last time, mumbling through tired hands. Sven brayed at his back and nudged his big nose into the side of Kristoff’s head - a sad sound and an even sadder sight.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa entered and heard the door click shut behind her.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Despite the high noon sun, Anna’s chambers were dark. Every curtain had been drawn and extra fabric had been hung over windows to block any remaining scraps of light.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Elsa? Is that you?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Olaf?” Elsa whispered back into the darkness. The distinct squeak of Olaf’s footsteps approached, the white snow of his body giving him an almost phantom inner light. Small stick arms wrapped around Elsa’s waist and his head fell against her stomach.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“She’s not well,” Olaf said softly. “We thought she was getting better, but then this morning...” He trailed off. Elsa put a soothing hand on his head, fighting the shiver of fear growing in her stomach.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Is she sleeping?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Olaf nodded, taking Elsa by the hand and leading her to the side of Anna’s bed. Elsa’s eyes began to adjust, and she saw Olaf sit atop a small stool that had been placed near the headboard. He took to it with such a strong sense of formality that Elsa was struck with the image of a vigil, waiting for a dawn to shrink back the darkness.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She shook the thought from her mind, casting her gaze over the bed to distract herself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The sheets were a mess, lumpy and thrashed about. Nearly half the bed was bare, covers bundled to one side to envelope a shape that could only be her sister. There wasn’t a single scrap of visible clothing, much less skin, but the tension around Elsa’s middle eased slightly when she saw that the middle of the pile was moving regularly up and down.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How long has she been like this?” Elsa asked, picking her way carefully to the other side of the bed where Anna’s head lay.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“A few days.” Olaf swallowed at Elsa’s stricken expression. “She didn’t want to bother you…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa opened her mouth to respond, but shut it just as quickly. It had only been a handful of years ago that she had pushed herself past the point of mere fever for Anna, and though it pained her to be on the other end now, she couldn’t find it in herself to be angry.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Just... sad.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Kristoff is the one who said we had to tell you,” Olaf continued. “I think seeing her get worse when she seemed to be recovering was the last straw.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What happened?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Three days ago, after you left the reception for the visiting royalty, Anna said she suddenly felt tired and went to bed. When Kristoff went to join her later, she claimed she couldn’t sleep because the room was too hot. He put out the fire, but even then she was sweating. The next morning she seemed… lost.” Olaf shuddered, the action completely foreign to Elsa, who’s heart was starting to feel constricted in her chest. “Gerda would call her name and it would take two or three times for her to pay attention. During meals she would push food around on her plate or just stare at it, eyes dull. Anything she did eat, she couldn’t keep down, and by the next evening Kristoff decided she should just rest in her room. And now she hasn’t come out for a full day.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How awful.” Elsa reached out for the blankets, needing to check for herself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Don’t touch her.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I won’t,” Elsa said. Blue light bloomed around her fingers, coating her hand in a thin and flexible layer of ice. She flicked her encased palm, a crystalline ‘ting’ sounding out. “But... why?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“We don’t know what she has, or how she got sick. I’ve been the only one able to care for her recently.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Affection lightened the cage around Elsa’s heart just a little. “Thank you, Olaf.” He smiled thinly in return.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Carefully, Elsa eased back the covers.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The first thing she found was Anna’s nightgown, soft and lightly patterned as was common in the summer months. Olaf’s words rang true however, for the material was stuck like a second skin to Anna’s body, drenched in sweat. Another layer peeled away revealed Anna’s hair, darker in hue from the dampness that plastered it to her skin. Her freckles stood out like the tappings of charcoal dust on drawing paper. Finally, Anna’s face, pinched with the effort of keeping herself covered. Her frown deepened at the disturbance of her slumber and she attempted to turn away from the scant light that reached into the room, muttering.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“–can’t… leave.” Elsa glanced up at Olaf but looked back when Anna groaned and continued. “Have to… stay…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Olaf sighed heavily. “She’s been talking in her sleep. At first it was her normal mumbling, but it changed.” Elsa felt pierced by his gaze. “Ahtohallan called to you too, didn’t it?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You think she hears Ahtohallan?” Elsa watched Anna grimace and turn away from her.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t know,” Olaf confessed. “Looking back, you only ever seemed distracted, which Anna did, but now… It was never like this for you, right?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ll admit it disturbed me at first, and when I fought it, the voice seemed to grow louder.” Elsa pursed her lips. “But no. In the end it was a beckoning voice, though not an unfriendly one. The uncertainty made me sick with worry, but never actually ill.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna made another pained sound and this time Elsa couldn’t help herself. She reached out and touched the tips of her frost covered fingers to the back of Anna’s exposed neck. Goosebumps broke out immediately, shivering through Anna in waves. But instead of leaping away from her touch, Anna pressed back until Elsa was running her hand through damp tresses. Anna’s muttering soothed to the odd murmur, her chest rising and falling evenly once more.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Please be careful, Elsa,” Olaf jumped down from his perch and joined her.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I will, I promise.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>At their voices, Anna turned back, her clenched eyes relaxing. Her voice was thick and hoarse, and it took several tries for her just to whisper the word, “Water…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ll get it!” Olaf bounded up and raced for the door, his excitement drawing forth a smile from Elsa, and even a weak one from Anna. He was gone in a flash, but even with the door swinging open and shut in hardly more than a second, Anna flinched at the extra light.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m sorry, did we wake you?” Elsa cupped Anna’s cheek, renewing the ice around her hand when Anna all but nuzzled into her touch.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No I–,” Anna cleared her throat, trying again with a little less rasp. “I don’t think I was fully asleep.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“We heard you talking, you were dreaming.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes… a dream.” Anna paused. She seemed to gather her strength, then with great effort, she opened her eyes. “But you’re not, are you?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna’s eyes had always been the loveliest of greens under low light: positively lush under oil lamps, campfires, sunset, and candlelight. Even Elsa’s own magic sparked her eyes with the verdant life of flowers and spring.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But the sickness, short in it’s stay, had already taken its toll. The only color reflected in Anna’s eyes now was the sludge brown mud at the bottom of a frozen lake.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh, Anna,” Elsa brushed her thumb across her sister’s cheek. “What’s happened to you?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna didn't hear.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, you’re not a dream,” she seemed to say to herself. “Of course you and your magic would be the only things that keep the Count away.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“The… the Count?” Elsa frowned. “The one whose visit we celebrated just a handful of days ago? I’d thought he left that very same night.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna eyed her quizzically, though it’s power was diminished by her fatigue. “Well naturally, he had a long return trip to make. But he left me a gift, so I could remember his time here.” Her face scrunched up again, “At first I wasn’t sure about it, but…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Then Anna beamed, a sight that would have made Elsa’s heart soar as it caught the sunlight, bright as any star brought to Earth could be.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Except this time it sank, like a seal yanked beneath the waves by a shark.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Now it feels like he’s always around,” Anna grinned before closing her eyes once more. She sighed, “Though he’s a bit overbearing at times, calling at all hours of the day and night.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa didn’t know if it was rage or terror that made its home behind her ribs, but one of them broke her heart with the realization that something had changed Anna’s smile.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>No. <em>Someone</em>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“W-what kind of gift, Anna?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“The kind benefiting a gentleman of course.” Anna yawned and seemed to settle happily as the memory revisited her. Elsa felt her heart travel further - down down into the icy depths. “A kiss.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The light from Elsa’s magic glinted off Anna’s teeth in a way it never had before. Twin flashes of pointed bone, longer and sharper than any human’s.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa had always thought they were stories, a fairytale, one more thing to be scared of at night. But fate had decided on more than one occasion to grant magic into her and Anna’s lives, so terrible as it may be, why not this particular myth as well? How much more odd would it be than a living water horse, sentient wind and rock, and a fire spitting amphibian?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Why not… a vampire?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna hooked her hand into Elsa’s, ignoring her sister’s reflexive tug away. “Who knew a kiss could be so chilling? But it was hot that night, and you were gone, so it was a decent substitute.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa took a moment to center herself. The reality of the situation was bearing down on her like cavalry hooves, but she needed to be certain. “Where did he kiss you?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was a small comfort to hear her sister reply with humor. “Well it certainly wasn’t the lips, Elsa. He knows the rules of etiquette the same as us. No, it was the back of the hand.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa immediately inspected Anna’s hand, then the other. But there was nothing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna entwined their fingers, pressing her palm against Elsa’s icy one. “So many questions about the Count,” she said slyly, more playfulness dripping into her voice to chase the sick away. “You’re not jealous, are you, Elsa?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa gawked at her. “I’m not jealous, Anna!” She turned her head away, “I thought he was a pleasant enough man, though a little conceited. Didn’t you feel the way he made himself superior to those around him?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna shook her head. “He certainly came off that way in public, but he really was very polite at the end of the night. He even showed me the special goodbye he gives his visitors in his home country.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa nearly scoffed, moment forgotten. “Is this that kiss you keep mentioning? That’s hardly anything new Anna, you are queen after all.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You are jealous, you <em>are</em>!” Anna’s excitement was cut short by an upturning of brows and a small whimper of pain. She immediately pressed their joined hands to her forehead. “Sorry,” she mumbled, “it’s so hot in here.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Any reply Elsa might have had would forever be stuck in the back of her throat. She’d found what she had been looking for… but in an unexpected place.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When Anna had pulled her hand towards her, Elsa saw the marks under Anna’s wrist.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Two small dots.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Mmmm, Elsa,” Anna murmured, “you’re so cold. Just like me. The rest of the world is so hot and bright, but you’re perfect.” She pressed Elsa’s knuckles along the bridge of her nose. “And don’t worry, I can share the Count’s secret with you too - after all, you’re also warm, warm where it matters. On the inside. Your heart,” Anna smiled and Elsa felt the little hum that came from her chest. “I can smell it.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa barely heard a word, her thoughts swirling like dense fog. She’d never get the chance to respond either, as Olaf chose this moment to make his reappearance, the sound of the latch raising Elsa’s head, away from her sister. Her mind was still turning over Anna’s words the way a mouse tests the new pressure plate under an old crumb of cheese. She didn’t notice how her hand shifted to rest against Anna’s lips, how her control slipped, exposing pale, bare skin.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>No, the last nail in the coffin was that, when Anna had spoken, her eyes had opened again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Opened to a deep, dizzying red.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Red like the finest wines of Arendelle castle.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Red like the kind exposed by bullets and blades.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Red like blood.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Olaf called Elsa’s name in oblivious greeting as Anna’s teeth sunk into her wrist. The bite was kind, the fangs almost soft.</p>
  <p>And the pain?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Intoxicating.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Spirit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Anna observes her family in the aftermath of their journey into the Enchanted Forest</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another October Story Haul piece! Fair warning, I've been told by no small amount of people that this one is pretty angsty. not your speed? No worries! Fluff is already one the way ^_^</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Perhaps life would never go back to normal in Arendelle. Though, how could it? The discovery of a decades long secret? The realization that the country they loved so dearly was capable of cruelty? And what to do with the Northuldra? Unite in shared blood despite history? Make reparations but go separate ways?</p>
<p>These are the questions that loom over Elsa and Anna in the weeks after their adventure to the Enchanted Forest.</p>
<p>Despite requests to stay, Elsa did return to Arendelle. Considering the circumstances, the Northuldra didn’t take offense, and welcomed her whenever she could take time away to visit and learn. But Anna sees how the days wear on her sister, rushing this way and that, rarely ever pausing to rest.</p>
<p>Which isn’t new, Anna sighs, watching as Elsa sets down her quill and leaves the office, closing the door behind her. A small squeak comes from the floor and Anna sees poor Bruni plop back down after launching himself towards the gap in the doorway. He’d been a second too late.</p>
<p>“Aww, are you okay?” Anna kneels down to check on him. “You’ll have to forgive her, she’s got a lot on her mind.”</p>
<p>Bruni chirps again, giving Anna a smile and an excited pitter-patter of feet. “Oh, of course,” Anna nods, “I should have known you’d already forgiven her. A wise and powerful spirit.”</p>
<p>The little salamander sparks magenta flame at the praise and darts away, wiggling himself under the door and scampering after Elsa.</p>
<p>Though the Enchanted Forest is many miles away, the spirits are often around, and have complete freedom to roam Arendelle castle. When they visit they spend the most time around the two Fifth Spirits, acknowledging Anna as one of their own. Some are more confined than others however: the Nokk could not leave the water without Elsa’s help, but it was a pleasant enough companion to sit with by the fjord.</p>
<p>Anna finds the Nokk there now, observing the ships coming and going.</p>
<p>“It’s nice isn’t it?” Anna asks. The Nokk turns it’s watery head her way, snorting a greeting. “I used to watch them from my window all the time.” Anna takes a seat next to the horse who is lounging on the sand, where the surf laps at the shore. “I’ll bet you used to watch ships come and go near Ahtohallan, before the Forest closed up.” She brings her chin to her knees. The sea washes against the spirit’s body, absorbed at regular intervals to swirl around it’s flank and belly. “Maybe without the Mist you would have seen my parents’.”</p>
<p>The Nokk glances up at her, attentive. Anna gazes back, trying to find answers in it’s bright blue eyes. “Would you have saved them?” The Nokk’s ear flicks but it’s expression doesn’t change. Anna chuckles to herself. “From the stories Elsa told, perhaps you wouldn’t have. You were trapped and angry and scared in the Forest. Maybe you would have seen them as just one more threat.”</p>
<p>A whiny is her reply, and while Anna may still be learning about the Nokk, she’s been around flesh and blood horses enough to know that the creature in front of her does look a little remorseful.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, I don’t blame you.” Anna leans back and looks skyward, at the clouds racing overhead. “And I know that you would now, even if we’re both uncertain of back then. Elsa may have been at the reins, but from what I heard, it was you that sped faster than a tidal wave to make it back here before Arendelle was destroyed. And <em> your </em>power that helped her hold the water back. I will always be grateful to you for saving my… our home.”</p>
<p>The Nokk lowers it’s head and rests it near her knee, letting out a long sigh that sends ripples across the shallow waves and scatters sand towards her hands. This time, it’s eyes search hers.</p>
<p>Anna takes pity on the spirit. “It’s okay. You couldn’t be in two places at once. Besides,” she emphasized, “you hadn’t met me yet and the dam was in the opposite direction of Arendelle. How were you to know?”</p>
<p>A raising of voices sounds over the wall, a commotion in the courtyard.</p>
<p>“Kristoff must be back,” Anna says, rising. “I should make sure everything’s alright.” The Nokk blinks slowly in farewell and dissolves back into the sea.</p>
<p>She was right - Kristoff had returned. As Anna enters the gates she spies Sven already being fed and watered by an enthusiastic Olaf. The reindeer looks tired, no doubt riding hard to get back before sundown. Even the proximity of Olaf’s carrot nose doesn’t seem to perk him up.</p>
<p>And though it was Sven who’d done all the running, Kristoff is the one who looks the most weary. He and Elsa are deep in conversation as Anna approaches, and while she’s not yet close enough to hear, she can see by the slump in his shoulders that he’s not happy.</p>
<p>Ever since they returned from the Forest, Kristoff has volunteered his time connecting with the Northuldra, helping them however they needed as they adjusted to life free of the Mist. Additionally, he began serving as Arendelle’s unofficial ambassador when Elsa couldn’t be around herself. At first Elsa had tried to dissuade him, saying he needed to recover from his own experiences in the Forest, that he didn’t need to serve Arendelle in a capacity he wasn’t comfortable with. He just laughed and tugged on his sash, saying, “Well you never know, Elsa. They might just be my family too.”</p>
<p>The travels were clearly wearing on him, but Kristoff seemed to want to keep moving, keep occupied, always doing something with his feet and his hands.</p>
<p>But Anna doesn’t miss the way he sinks gratefully into Elsa’s warm embrace. Doesn’t miss the way they hug tight. How Elsa disappears behind his broad shoulder, taking a moment to hide in it’s shadow. How Kristoff’s hands pull her close, as though to remind him of something.</p>
<p>“It will be dark soon,” Anna hears Kristoff say as they separate. Elsa turns her head to the west, then up into the hills.</p>
<p>“I’ll be back before dinner,” Elsa says without looking back. Kristoff nods and steps back.</p>
<p>A horse, already prepared, is brought to Elsa which she mounts and steers towards the gates. She’s about to leave when Kristoff calls her name softly from the ground. “Elsa?” Anna is nearly level with them now, but pauses at his tone. “It’s okay if you’re late. We… we understand. Just,” he shuffles on his feet before laying a hand on the horse’s side and meeting her eye. “Take care of yourself, promise?”</p>
<p>Elsa’s eyes glisten for a moment before she nods. “I’ve made a lot of promises recently,” she replies, her voice strained. “But I’ll keep this one.”</p>
<p>She flicks the reins and departs. Kristoff doesn’t linger either, heading back into the castle with Olaf and Sven.</p>
<p>Anna looks between the two groups: at the rapidly disappearing back of her sister and at the somber march of the three heading home. She puts her hands on her hips.</p>
<p>“Honestly,” she huffs, “no one around here knows how to take a break!”</p>
<p>She hears a chittering whistle above her head. Laughter, strange for certain, but a sound Anna has come to love.</p>
<p>“Glad you agree, Gale,” Anna smiles as Gale weaves around her clothes in greeting. Another glance tells Anna that Kristoff and the others were nearly inside. Elsa on the other hand had vanished as soon as she left town. Anna bites her lip as Gale swirls pensively around her. “I know I should probably check on Kristoff but… he does have Sven and Olaf. He- he’ll be alright, for now.” She points a finger at Gale, “But remind me, okay? If I forget that’s on you.”</p>
<p>Gale titters in a way that can only be sarcastic, but it only makes Anna grin wider. “Sure, sure, if I really <em> do </em> forget then I’ll let you toss me up and down in a whirlwind until I remember. But I think you forget that I’ve gotten pretty good at coasting your wind. It won’t be like the first time.”</p>
<p>At this Gale slows, almost bashful, and presses into Anna’s cheek like a cat. “It’s alright! You were just being cautious! Protecting the Forest and all. Geez,” she blew a little air of her own at the wind spirit, making it chitter that laugh again. “What’s with you spirits? So sentimental.”</p>
<p>She sizes up the rest of the courtyard. The horsekeeper is heading in now that his job is over, and the rest of the animals were locked away. Gale races forward, toying with a latch to one of the horse stables.</p>
<p>“No!” Anna reprimands. “I don’t need to take a horse. And especially since-,” she falters. “Just… walk with me? It’ll be good to have someone to talk to.”</p>
<p>Gale floats for a moment, then heads back to tug on Anna’s sleeve, urging her forward. “Alright, alright!” Anna laughs breathlessly, letting herself be led. “I’m coming! Aren’t I the one who invited you?”</p>
<p>They don’t have to travel far, Anna knows where Elsa was heading.</p>
<p>The sun is a golden wedge on the mountain’s rocky sides, sending deep purple shadows towards the east. There’s a clearing in the forest up ahead, one Anna knows well. She passes Elsa’s horse, giving it a wide berth so as not to spook the timid creature.</p>
<p>She hears the sobs she expected, but the sound still cuts her, deeper than any sword.</p>
<p>Elsa is on her knees before the towering headstones of their parents. She hunches over herself, arms crossed against her chest, trying to contain, still, after all these years, the grief and sorrow that live inside her ribs. Her pale hair hangs over her face, which is only a few inches from the ground.</p>
<p>Today has been hard.</p>
<p>Anna knows that Elsa had likely started standing, likely started with talking. Talking until the emotions welled up like the tide, sloshing back and forth and knocking her off balance until something tipped and it all spilled out, scattering her words and knocking her legs out from underneath her.</p>
<p>Anna knows because she’s seen it before: the first, second, and third time Anna took Elsa to see their parent’s grave after the Thaw.</p>
<p>But Anna also knows that that isn’t why Elsa is here this time.</p>
<p>Anna approaches and gazes at the earth before her. It’s been well kept, but of course it has. Just enough time has passed for new grass to grow, despite the soft nip of winter at the end of the night. Gifts and decorations still adorn the site, fresh flowers, a stuffed reindeer, a whittled sunflower, and many, many Arendelle flags.</p>
<p>A sound comes Elsa then. Raw. Agonized. Keening.</p>
<p>Inhuman.</p>
<p>Inhuman in that <em>no human</em> <em>being </em>should ever sound like the weight of their despair is crushing them, breaking them, hollowing them out.</p>
<p>Anna is at her side immediately, and she knows, she <em> knows </em> what will happen but she can’t stop herself. The sight of her sister’s suffering sends trills through her very soul, un-ignorable.</p>
<p>She places a hand on Elsa’s shoulder, in comfort, and watches it go right through. Ethereal. Translucent.</p>
<p>Ghostly.</p>
<p>Elsa grieves in front of a third headstone in the clearing, one that bears Anna’s name, and continues to weep.</p>
<p>Anna finds no purchase on her sister’s form. She hasn’t since the first day she got back from the Forest. She walked those miles by herself, alone, the spirits gone or busy with the living. When she finally returned to Arendelle --after the dam, after the flood, after… the dark, dark waters-- she saw Elsa and Kristoff and ran forward. Forgetting herself, wanting only to greet them and love them.</p>
<p>They walked right through her embrace, like she wasn’t even there.</p>
<p>Because she wasn’t.</p>
<p>Bruni found her two days later, on the roof above Elsa’s room. Unwilling to stay too close but unable to tear herself away from her friends, her family.</p>
<p>Her life.</p>
<p>That the spirits could see her was a small comfort. Very, very small. But at least she wasn’t alone anymore. She’d had plenty of that.</p>
<p>Anna recoils as Elsa shudders through an exhale, her next breath wet and clogged and shallow. Snowflakes start to fall from the sky though there are no clouds, swirling and sticking to grass and fallen leaves. Elsa’s control is slipping, and Anna can’t take it anymore.</p>
<p>“Gale-,” Anna’s voice breaks. “Please...”</p>
<p>The wind spirit knows what she is asking.</p>
<p>It takes a few seconds, but soon leaves and soft grass stems swirl gently around Elsa’s body, dancing in air, pressing gently against her hands to coax them free of their white knuckled grieving. “Gale?” Elsa asks breathlessly, and Anna feels the need to cry herself. Her sister’s voice is hoarse and fragile. Weak like a fractured eggshell. Flower petals wipe away the tears that soak Elsa’s cheeks. Gale tips Elsa’s head up as more objects join the bobbing air current, drawn from the forest and hills beyond.</p>
<p>“What are you...?” Elsa begins, but as a shape takes form she gasps, fresh tears brimming in her eyes.</p>
<p>A simple crown weaves itself into creation before her. Sunflower petals interlace with stalks of wheat and flashes of red maple leaves, bound together with precision and care. The purple head of a crocus flower, the last of the year, or perhaps the first of the new, is the final piece added before the adornment floats toward Elsa’s head and settles atop her hair, as gentle as a mother’s hand.</p>
<p>Or a sister’s.</p>
<p>Recognition widens Elsa’s eyes and she whirls around, staggering upright on unsteady feet.</p>
<p>“<em>Anna!? </em>”</p>
<p>The desperation, the <em> hope </em>, rings out like glass on the brink of shattering. Anna feels her breath catch in her throat as her sister looks at her for the first time since the ice boat ferried her away down the side of a cliff. She reaches out like she did before, even takes a step forward.</p>
<p>Until she realizes Elsa’s eyes are still searching. Looking past her.</p>
<p>After a few moments where Elsa’s heart hammers in her chest and Anna’s tries to recall what that might be like, Elsa’s shoulders drop and it’s a folding, a shrinking, an inward sinking. She is smaller than Anna has ever seen her.</p>
<p>But...</p>
<p>Elsa takes the crocus flower from the crown, plucks a sunflower petal and a soft head of wheat, and with a careful weaving of her own she protects them in ice. Smaller, but no less special than the frozen star atop the Christmas tree years ago, and cradled with just as much care.</p>
<p>Elsa holds the creation to her chest and Anna feels Gale nestle around her shoulders.</p>
<p>Both sisters speak at the same time.</p>
<p>“Thank you. I love you. I miss you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. A Sister Like You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bastard!Anna in the timeline of Frozen 1. Really wanted to see what would happen if a) Anna was the older sibling and b) Wasn't in line for the throne. Turns out: super adorable! Anna is such a kind-hearted character, and her personality would change a lot about how Frozen would have/could have gone. So, bastard!Anna, being the best big sister ever!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The king and queen had a terribly kept secret: their firstborn was a bastard.</p><p>It was a terribly kept secret because, well, everyone loved her.</p><p>Anna of Arendelle was too much like sunshine on a cloudy day for people to hate her. The cooks loved her because she wasn’t a picky eater like her father, and the maids loved her because she always helped mend the sheets she ripped during her playtime. The gardeners and stablemen loved Anna because she talked to the ducklings and horses and goats, and even the flowers weren’t ignored. The people loved her because she was a bright child who walked among the crowds in the market and bought pastries from the local baker with a smile full of missing baby teeth. Anna danced with the town’s children during the festivals and chased after ships until the end of the dock as they set sail.</p><p>And perhaps most importantly, her parents loved her - one of blood and one of adoptive heart. They promised to care for the little red-headed baby as their own, regardless of what people said. </p><p>Truly, Anna was a light in the dark, even as a toddler, a fire in the midst of winter during her childhood years, and that warmth only soared to bonfire heat with the birth of the first true princess, her little sister, Elsa.</p><p>Anna’s love for Elsa was similarly earned in the way it was passed to her: instantly, freely, and without hesitation.</p><p>Elsa was born in the midst of a terrible winter storm that ended as soon as Anna was let into the birthing room. The king was right behind her, kissing his wife’s head sweetly as they peered down at their second daughter. The question was asked if Anna wanted to hold her little sister and Anna nodded furiously, already getting a leg up on the bed. They laid Elsa in her arms and Anna’s eyes filled with wonder at the tiny bundle. She sat completely frozen, not wanting to move or change her position lest she disturb Elsa. The babe fussed and grabbed Anna’s small finger in an even smaller fist. Everyone in the room fawned over the action.</p><p>“She’ll be queen, right?” The king and queen exchanged a glance, hesitant. Anna had not seemed put out by the fact that she would never officially rule, but she was only ten, and they weren’t sure if that would always be the case.</p><p>The king cleared his throat. “Yes, darling. She will.”</p><p>Anna looked back down at her baby sister. Looked at her like she was her whole world. Elsa hiccupped a little and Anna smiled her blinding smile.</p><p>“I can’t wait,” she said, wiggling her trapped finger back and forth so Elsa turned towards the motion. “She’s gonna be great! And I’m gonna help her!”</p><p>The mood shifted instantly and everyone relaxed, rejoicing. Elsa’s forehead wrinkled at all the noise and she began to wail until Anna soothed her, shushing all the adults with a serious tone. They did, but not without some laughter.</p><p>And then Elsa sneezed.</p><p>Frost dusted Anna’s twin braids and bangs. She blinked. Everyone stared in complete shock. A small snowflake fell delicately from nowhere to land on the tip of Anna’s nose. In her arms, Elsa made little noises of satisfaction and nestled herself further into Anna’s hands before falling asleep.</p><p>“I take it back,” Anna whispered excitedly while the room found their tongues. “She’s going to be the <em>best</em>!”</p><p>————————————————————</p><p>In the middle of the night, Anna crept through the darkened hallways of Arendelle castle, easing the door of her parents’ room open. She lifted, with some effort, the door from the bottom with her toe so it wouldn’t squeak and give her away. She closed it just the same, sidling over to the crib along the far wall. Voices came from the opposite side of the room, in the connected bathroom.</p><p>They were arguing. Again.</p><p>She couldn’t remember them arguing when she was little, but Anna wasn’t sure that was because they hadn’t, or because they’d not had a reason to.</p><p>Because now they were always arguing about Elsa.</p><p>Anna dragged the stepstool up to the side of the crib. Elsa was deeply asleep, mumbling vague syllables as Anna rocked her bed gently with her knee. Half a year had passed and Elsa kept getting bigger everyday. Her hair was growing out, her cheeks were soft and pudgy (“Just like yours!” The staff would often remind Anna), and she had started to laugh and laugh and <em>laugh </em>at all of Anna’s antics. Anna was utterly enchanted by her, her little sister was genuine magic.</p><p>And of course, Elsa was <em>literally </em>magic, too.</p><p>Raised voices rebounded around the walls as the king and queen found new ground to battle over. Anna saw Elsa’s lower lip wobble and put her hand down into the crib so Elsa could hold it. With her other hand she touched the bandages around her head.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Anna murmured, “I know it was an accident.”</p><p>They’d been playing Peek-a-Boo.</p><p>Anna had surprised Elsa for the hundredth time with a joyful, “Here I am!”, only this time Elsa had placed her hand on Anna’s temple as she giggled and there was a flash of white. The next thing Anna knew she was on horseback, jostled back and forth in the king’s lap. They rode hard, to a clearing she didn’t recognize. Creatures rolled out of the mist and popped open, revealing themselves to be trolls. Anna would have been excited under normal circumstances, but the looks on the king and queen’s faces, and the fact that Elsa was crying her tiny lungs out, had her clamping down on any questions.</p><p>The adults talked, human and troll alike, but Anna was having a hard time paying attention. Elsa was so far away, upset, and she couldn’t reach her. Her body felt stiff and cold, especially her head. She couldn’t stop shivering. One of the trolls saw her reach out from the king’s arms and told everyone that Anna was awake.</p><p>The old troll informed her gravely that her life was in danger, that Elsa’s power would only continue to grow. He showed her images with his magic: a figure in blue turning water to ice, then being pounced upon by figures in red. They were beautiful, and frightening, making Anna’s heart pound sluggishly in her chest. The queen and king said the troll could do whatever he needed to save Anna’s life and protect Elsa from such a fate. The troll approached Anna, with more magic shining in his rocky palm, and said that everything would be fine, that it was just her head and not her heart. He chuckled humorously.</p><p>“Much better to lose a few memories than your life.”</p><p>Anna refused.</p><p>The adults sputtered.</p><p>“Will I remember Elsa?”</p><p>“Yes, of course but-”</p><p>“Will I remember her magic?”</p><p>“The magic is what did the damage, and to remove it I would remove-”</p><p>“Then no.”</p><p>And she wouldn’t hear it any other way, even as her body grew colder and the vision on her right fractured and split. A frozen headache pulsed at her temple, spreading rapidly across her skull. Still, Anna sought out the sound of Elsa’s voice, even though others were getting in the way. She couldn’t tell who was who. Some of them wanted the troll to do it anyway, that Anna was just a child, only ten, and didn’t know better. Some wanted Anna’s wishes to be respected, that perhaps there was another way. Even more worried about the future, the kingdom, what it might mean to have a queen with powers… or a bastard without memories of them.</p><p>What were the consequences of hiding Elsa’s powers from the public? What were the repercussions of making the same mistake over and over, if Anna was literally unable to remember the danger?</p><p>So many questions, so many voices.</p><p>All of them wanted her to live.</p><p>Anna took air into small lungs embedded with ice shards, speaking softly but clearly even as fatigue stole over her.</p><p>“Elsa’s powers are a part of her. Forgetting them means I’m forgetting part of Elsa. I don’t want that. How can I help her if I don’t know her?”</p><p>——</p><p>When Anna next awoke she was in her room back at the castle, wrapped solidly in blankets. Summer sunlight filtered through the curtains, bright and cheerful. She thought perhaps it had all been a dream, and she’d been allowed a rare day to sleep in.</p><p>In fact here was Gerda, thankfully with breakfast, walking through the door. Anna sat up to make space and shot her a cheerful, “Good morning!”</p><p>Gerda dropped everything she was carrying in one huge clatter and rushed to Anna’s side, burying her in a deep hug.</p><p>“Oh, my little Princess!” She always called Anna that, even though she wasn’t really. “We thought we were going to lose you!”</p><p>Anna went to protest but spied her reflection in the mirror over Gerda’s shoulder. Her hair was it’s usual post-slumber mess, but this time instead of it being held away from her face by sheer luck, it was by bandages.</p><p>Gerda set about getting her dressed and fed and ready for the day. She did Anna’s hair last of all, delicately peeling away the strips of cloth. It hurt a little, but not too bad. Anna wasn’t sure what she expected to see as the source of the pain, but <em>that </em>wasn’t it.</p><p>“Did I get some of the powdered sugar in my hair?” She asked.</p><p>Gerda looked sad, gazing at Anna through her reflection. “No my dear, that’s…” She paused, deliberating. Anna touched the white streak at her temple, following it back where it disappeared behind her ear.</p><p>“I don’t know all the details,” Gerda finally continued, “but I’m told you were very brave.”</p><p>Anna watched Gerda comb the white streak into her braid and <em>remembered</em>.</p><p>And to her everlasting relief… she remembered <em>everything</em>.</p><p>————————————————————</p><p>Anna and Elsa grew up, little by little, leap by leap. Space was cleared out in Anna’s room for Elsa’s bed and things, but by that time they were already inseparable. From the moment Elsa could walk she followed Anna <em>everywhere</em>. Laughter was common, and anyone in the castle who caught an earful of it drifting and caterwauling through the halls always gave a smile. Unless it was followed by the sound of something breaking, then it was usually a kickstart to a sprint.</p><p>As Anna edged into her teenage years things got… a little silly. Now at ages fifteen and five, the girls could get into all kinds of mischief. Nothing terrible of course, mostly playing knights in the hallways with the armor and freezing their tutor’s inkwell after a particularly difficult day of study. But then of course, there was the time Elsa made sleeping versions of them to fool people into thinking they were tucked away for the night, only to get caught sneaking into the fjord waters for a late night swim. Or the time Anna pretended Elsa was sick and was only taking requests through the door - requests that included chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, hot chocolate (in summer), chocolate mousse…</p><p>The future that the king and queen feared never came to pass; Elsa’s powers indeed grew as she did, but they were tempered with the practice that came along with frequent use, namely entertaining herself and her older sister. Anna never got tired of watching Elsa, “Do the magic,” and Elsa never got tired showing her.</p><p>Anna’s sunny disposition never wavered even when others thought it might, when, despite their closeness, familial bonds, and education, Anna’s status as an out of wedlock child started to become more frequently pronounced. If anything, Elsa took more offense to her sister being addressed as, “Lady Anna,” while she got “Princess Elsa”, than Anna ever did.</p><p>“But you <em>are </em>a princess!” Elsa protested one night. They were both in their respective beds, across from each other, flat on their backs as they watched the hues of the Northern Lights waver over their ceiling.</p><p>“I’m technically half adopted,” Anna clarified.</p><p>“What does that mean?”</p><p>“It means one of our parents isn’t my flesh and blood parent, even though I call them Mama and Papa just like you do.”</p><p>“That’s so weird,” and Anna could hear Elsa’s frown from her side of the room. “Which one?”</p><p>Anna shrugged. “I dunno. It’s not like I haven’t wondered, but it just, never seemed to matter enough to ask.”</p><p>“I could ask.”</p><p>“No, sweetheart, you don’t have to.”</p><p>“But I wanna know!”</p><p>Anna sighed. She watched the lights dance a moment before saying, “I don’t.”</p><p>“Oh…” Elsa went quiet. “Can I ask why?”</p><p>“Sure you can.”</p><p>A few seconds passed before Elsa huffed irritably and Anna grinned in the dark. “<em>Why </em>don’t you want to know?”</p><p>“I want to be mysterious,” Anna teased.</p><p>“<em>Anna</em>!”</p><p>“What? If you get to be queen, then I want to be the spooky, strange older sibling!”</p><p>She expected a laugh but was met with silence.</p><p>“…Did you wanna be queen?”</p><p>Anna opened her mouth to reply how she always did, but stopped. This was her sister, not some dignitary in a hushed tone or some drink toting duchess at a dinner party. She deserved a real answer.</p><p>“No,” Anna said finally, “not really anyway. Even when I was little I didn’t dream of holding Papa’s scepter or wearing Mama’s crown. I felt like that was their thing, and you had your thing! And I was… am, happy just being me.”</p><p>“Is that because you really never thought about it, or because someone told you it would never be yours?”</p><p>Anna’s brows knit together and she sat up quickly. “Hey,” she smirked, “who said you could be a five-year-old philosopher?”</p><p>“Sorry!” Elsa sat up too, her arms hugging her bed sheet covered legs. “I just think you’d be really good at it!”</p><p>“Good at it?” Elsa nodded, the Lights roaming through her hair. “What makes you say that?”</p><p>“Well…,” Elsa began rolling her hands in a circular motion. A small ball of twinkling snow appeared between her hands, rotating gently. She did this whenever she was thinking. “You’re smart and patient and kind. You’re always explaining things to me, and telling me stories. You help me when I’m mad at my homework or miss a stitch while sewing. You’re always thinking of new games to play, you read me books and take me out into the town for a day of fun! And you always save some of your peas from dinner for the ducks in the pond. You <em>claim </em>it’s because you hate vegetables but really it’s because you know it’s their favorite snack.</p><p>“But as much as you teach,” Elsa continued, the snowball spinning and sparking, “you also listen. You know everybody in the whole castle’s birthday. A sailor told you that he always missed the baker’s <em>lun epleterte</em> when he was out at sea, and now the baker always has extra when he sees that ship come home. Kai mentioned <em>once </em>that his favorite flowers hadn’t bloomed yet in the garden so you staked out the hedge for weeks. The moment they bloomed you ran to go find him, a few flowers already in your hands. You’re very-,” Elsa paused, her hands stopping too. Her lips twitched in annoyance. “I don’t know the word. But you <em>know </em>people and you <em>care </em>about them, and I think that would make you a great queen.”</p><p>The little snowball shrunk and disappeared, returning the room to the flickering patterns of pinks, blues, and greens of the Lights. Anna propped her head and elbow up on her thigh. “Hmm, I suppose you’re right. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not really interested, and even if I were, I still couldn’t.”</p><p>Elsa waved her hand dismissively. “When I’m queen I’ll just make you queen too.”</p><p>Anna scoffed, though not without humor. “That’s not how it works.”</p><p>“Says who? I’ll be queen! Who’s gonna say no?” Elsa barreled on, not waiting for Anna’s response. “It’ll be perfect: I’ll be Queen, you’ll be Royal-Big-Sister-Queen, and then you and I can both do whatever we want! We’ll be perfect together!”</p><p>“‘Royal-Big-Sister-Queen’? That’s not a thing.”</p><p>“It will be,” Elsa replied confidently. Anna exhaled heavily, a smile on her lips. Elsa noticed her lack of enthusiasm. “Okay, I’ll work on a better title but…, I just don’t want people thinking that you’re not part of my family.”</p><p>Anna’s eyes softened. “C’mere you.”</p><p>Elsa kicked off her covers, grabbed the stuffed penguin Anna had made for her fourth birthday, and ran on bare feet to Anna’s bedside. She lifted her arms and Anna picked her up, nestling her close. “It will never matter what other people say about me, because I know that the family that chose me, and that I choose right back everyday, loves me very much, and just wants me to be happy.”</p><p>Anna ran her pinkie softly down the bridge of Elsa’s nose. Her little sister blinked drowsily when Anna did it again. “What do you think about that?” She asked quietly.</p><p>“I think… you’re my best friend-older sister,” Elsa said softly as sleep dragged at her, “who tries to put her cold feet on my back when we sleep together, always forgetting that I can’t feel the cold.”</p><p>Anna chuckled low in her chest. “And <em>I</em> think <em>you </em>are my sweet-but-silly little sister,” she replied, tweaking Elsa’s nose which made her giggle, “who is always stealing the blankets <em>despite</em> claiming she’s never cold, leaving me to freeze to death.”</p><p>Elsa cuddled closer to Anna, yawning fiercely. “I promise I’ll share them tonight. Pre-Queen’s honor.”</p><p>Anna put a hand to her chest. “That’s a big promise, your Almost-Majesty. How do you know you’ll keep it?”</p><p>Elsa already had her eyes closed and her head on Anna’s pillow. “Because I love you.”</p><p>Anna smiled warmly. She scooched lower and drew the covers up over her shoulder, planting a kiss on Elsa’s forehead as she got settled.</p><p>“I love you too. And I still will, even when I wake up tomorrow and all the covers are on your side of the bed.”</p><p>————————————————————</p><p>Elsa never did come up with a better title for Anna’s rise to royalty. Not that she didn’t have time; to most people three years is quite the span, but for children and young adults it may well have been the blink of an eye. And it certainly felt like no time at all when Kai knocked on their door, parchment in hand and tears in his eyes, to deliver the news that their parents had died at sea.</p><p>Anna was eighteen, and Elsa, heir to the throne, only eight.</p><p>The funeral was delayed until proper mourning attire could be fashioned for such young women. The headstones were grand but simple. After the rain and the prayers, Anna and Elsa walked back to their room, silent. Anna worked on autopilot: helping Elsa disrobe, comb out her hair, put her in sleepwear. Until she felt the ghost of a memory, not long past, of her hugging the queen and king around the waist, expressing her wish to see them soon. The last time she’d ever touched them.</p><p>She heard Elsa sniffle beneath her hand, and caught sight of their reflection in the mirror. Tears dripped out of red-rimmed eyes as Elsa’s hard fought composure (already so heavy for a child) fell apart at Anna’s momentary lapse in normality. Then they were holding each other close, fingers digging into clothing and faces pressed close together.</p><p>They slept in the same bed for months.</p><p>But during that time an uncomfortable question arose. One that, out of respect for tradition, should have waited, but realistically speaking, couldn’t.</p><p>Who was in charge now?</p><p>Obviously no one expected an eight-year-old to be officially running a country, especially since her Coronation Day was over a decade away. And while Elsa had already Ascended to ruling status, legally she wasn’t making the rules, and it couldn’t be advisors forever. Especially not after the period of mourning, which at max placed Elsa at twelve. She would be involved in ongoing diplomatic and national matters of course, as she would have been anyway, though now to a larger degree, but the fact of the matter was that Elsa was a child.</p><p>She still had a bedtime.</p><p>And it couldn’t be Anna… could it? She had the training, the disposition. Even if she’d never desired it personally, could she be persuaded to step up, even if it was, in the end, invisibly? The advisors knew that generally speaking, the people of Arendelle would not turn their backs on Anna being their ruler in Elsa’s place, but politically, they felt the pressure of putting the correct outward face on their country.</p><p>Anna walked past two advisors, picking holes in the same arguments she’d heard for weeks, and closed her ears to it all. If they –the crown, the staff, the castle– needed her help, she’d do it in a heartbeat, but right now, she was more concerned with the remaining family she had left.</p><p>Namely, finding her before her upcoming royal duties.</p><p>They were starting slow. A few of the old guardsmen had retired, and today was their replacement’s first day on the job. Elsa, as queen, was supposed to formally greet them and thank them for their service. Fairly straightforward, all things considered, but Anna had seemingly lost track of Elsa after breakfast and between a few meetings of her own, and now was looking for her little sister.</p><p>Well, she was <em>pretending </em>to look. Anna knew exactly where to find her sister, but she gathered that, with all the fuss over dress and ceremony, Elsa may want just a few extra seconds to be alone, not being touched by people’s hands or her hair pulled by combs or set in tight braids and buns along her head.</p><p>But they couldn’t delay forever. Anna tapped a special rhythm on the door to their room, hearing a muted, “Come in!” from the other side.</p><p>As she entered, Anna’s breath caught in her throat.</p><p>Elsa was dressed like, well…</p><p>She looked just like Mama.</p><p>“Gerda says if I keep my steps high, I won’t trip on my cape,” Elsa said, spinning to show off the purple floor length cape. “But I can’t walk normally if I do that, I look like a puffed up frog!”</p><p>A little tiara nestled in her snow-blonde hair bounced light around the room as Elsa shifted. A fleck caught in Anna’s eye and she blinked harshly, bringing her back to the moment.</p><p>“Good thing you only have to walk a few feet,” Anna agreed, closing the door behind her and striding up to her sister. “You’ll be the best dressed frog in the room.”</p><p>Elsa folded her arms and scowled, looking <em>very </em>queenly indeed. “I’m surprised you’re the one saying that, considering what you’re wearing today,” and she gestured up and down at her sister.</p><p>It was true, Anna was wearing a dress that was almost entirely green from top to bottom, excluding the bodice which was black. The pleats of her skirt were alternating shades of green, the only spots of color otherwise being the rosemaling against the black silk on her chest and abdomen. Anna looked down then back up, and grinned. “I guess you’re right. You’ll have to teach me how to walk then. Does it look something like this?”</p><p>She marched dramatically in place, all high knees and right angled elbows, a look of comic determination on her face. To her delight, and relief, Elsa burst into giggles. She held her two gloved hands up in front of her mouth.</p><p><em>That </em>was the Elsa she knew.</p><p>“You’re going to embarrass me, Anna,” Elsa laughed.</p><p>“Lucky for me, that’s the older sibling’s job.” Anna put her hands on her hips. “Ready to go?”</p><p>Elsa’s smile dropped, looking down at her outfit. “I look like I am.”</p><p>Anna crouched down to be level with Elsa. “You certainly do,” she said softly. “You look beautiful. But I asked if <em>you </em>were ready.” Elsa didn’t meet her eye, instead fidgeting with her hands and wringing the soft blue leather of her gloves.</p><p>“I don’t think I’ll ever be,” Elsa confessed, downcast.</p><p>Anna acknowledged that with a little hum. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for a long time. But I think that’s okay too, it just means you’re still willing to learn. And you know, you’re not alone. You’ve got Kai and Gerda and all the staff, you’ve got the tutors and experts and all the other adults that know what to do. And, you know,” Anna shrugged, “you’ve got me, too. So I’m pretty sure it won’t be a complete disaster.”</p><p>Elsa looked up. “Really?”</p><p>“Positive,” Anna winked. She pinched her pointer finger and thumb close together. “Just a little one.”</p><p>Elsa laughed again and shoved Anna’s hand away. “Okay, okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”</p><p>“After you,” Anna said grandly, opening the door wide for Elsa with a sweeping bow. Elsa shook her head, then squared her shoulders and tilted her chin back, adopting the posture she’d learned over many lessons of how to walk like a queen. Anna sheltered the little spark of pride inside her heart, and the flicker of sadness that came along with it.</p><p>They started to make their way down the long hall, Anna a step behind to Elsa’s right, as was expected. As they neared the halfway point, Elsa’s pace slowed, and Anna noticed immediately.</p><p>She tapped Elsa on the shoulder and gently took her hand.</p><p>Elsa glanced ahead and behind furtively. “I… shouldn’t.”</p><p>“I know but, you don’t have to be ‘Queen-queen’ until we turn that corner, so…” Anna ran her thumb across the back of Elsa’s gloved hand, “You can keep holding my hand until then.”</p><p>Elsa squeezed back. “And after that? Where will you be?”</p><p>Anna beamed.</p><p>“Right next to you. And after that? Wherever you need me to be.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Winter Warmth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Winter holidays are for remembering what's important, and reveling in the things that make us happy whether they are big or small.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>2020 Secret Santa gift for like-redhead-probably &lt;3. Asked for a mythical creature au and Anna w/ a ponytail in a suit vest. Super fun, wrapped in fluff :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anna stands in front of the floor length mirror in her bedroom, a frown creasing her brow. She adjusts the fit of her vest one more time, changing the way the edge of the fabric sits atop her hips. It is a simple black in color, with rich red thread running vertically from top to bottom. The buttons are flat black, rimmed with an iridescent sheen that would catch light and make them appear to glow from within. A matching jacket is draped carefully on the bed behind her, still wrapped in plastic from the dry cleaners. For now she just wears the white undershirt and pants, but there is something off about it all that she can’t quite place.</p>
<p>The doorway to the joined bathroom opens behind her and her wife, Elsa, steps out, a towel around her. “Why aren’t you dressed?” She asks. “We have to be at dinner in an hour.” They have been invited to a holiday party with Anna’s coworkers, an excuse to get dressed up and have a good time during the winter rush season. </p>
<p>Anna’s shoulders drop. “I don’t know, something about it just doesn’t feel right.” She moves her hands to the undone cuff links at her wrist. They are little red gems cut like flames, something that, right now, Anna feels is a little too on the nose.</p>
<p>Elsa walks across the room, and as she does, she dresses as well. Sweeping from toe to collarbone, a dress of ice creates itself under her hands. Styled like an evening dress, it flows around her ankles and slides against her waist, a slit showing off her legs and the heels that materialize as she steps forward. Overlapping ice crystals lend texture and light to dress, snowflake prints growing and fading in an ever changing, eye catching pattern. Her arms stay bare, showing off her skin and the long braid that fell over her left shoulder. She was gorgeous, and she knew it as she reached Anna and smirked playfully.</p>
<p>“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of watching you do that,” Anna breathes, realizing her mouth is a little dry.</p>
<p>Elsa raises an eyebrow. “I think you like it when I take it off more.” Before Anna can reply, Elsa is pulling this way and that on her wife’s outfit. “Is it too tight? Too loose? Did we make the pants too long? I knew you weren’t going to wear heels but we can try to safety pin the bottoms if you think you’ll be walking on them.”</p>
<p>“N-No,” Anna replies when she finds her voice, “I just can’t get over the feeling that it’s a little <em>too</em> me. Does that make sense?”</p>
<p>“Well of course. It’s supposed to be about you, it was designed that way.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Anna puts her hand on the back of her head, embarrassed, “you’re right. I just haven’t had something like this for me ever so, I feel a little out of place.” She turns back to the mirror, catching Elsa’s eye. “But, looking at you makes me feel like I didn’t ask for <em>enough</em> flame motifs.”</p>
<p>Elsa laughs, the ice gems in her hair sparkling alongside her earrings. “We might have overdone it a little, but that’s half the fun,” she says, retrieving Anna’s jacket and removing it from it’s protective sleeve. She holds the garment open and Anna pushes her arms through, the fabric laying itself against her shoulders and back. “There,” Elsa smooths the wrinkles at Anna’s elbows and flicks Anna’s pony tail out from under the jacket’s collar, “I think you look very handsome. The colors really bring out your hair,” Elsa kisses behind Anna’s ear, “your eyes,” another lands at Anna’s temple, “and your smile,” she finishes, kissing right next to Anna’s mouth.</p>
<p>Anna indeed grins, but she does correct Elsa. “I think that last one is you, not the outfit.” Elsa shrugs, admiring her handiwork. Anna looks a lot more confident now, which only made her more beautiful.</p>
<p>She helps Anna do the cufflinks and stands still as Anna uses her shoulder to balance while putting on shoes. Once more they present themselves before the mirror. Anna still looks a bit unsure, but Elsa combs her bangs back with her fingers, trailing her touch down the length of Anna’s jaw. Under her hand Anna stands up taller. “Ready to go?” Elsa asks gently.</p>
<p>“Together with you?” Anna beams. “Always.”</p>
<p>–--</p>
<p>The cool tile of the kitchen warms under Anna’s bare feet. There is a song in the back of her throat, remembered even though it had been in her dreams, and Anna hums it under her breath as she begins her daily ritual: plucking bacon and eggs from the fridge and reaching overhead to grab a box of oatmeal. Frozen strawberries would come a little later; normally they would have been fresh, but the dead of winter isn’t exactly the best season for the little red berries.</p>
<p>Bacon begins to sizzle under low heat, milk and oats go into a saucepot to simmer, and Anna rough chops some walnuts to add on top. She hears rustling from down the hall and smiles. That’s her cue to fill the kettle, but it doesn’t go on the stove with the rest of the cookware. Instead, Anna allows the water to fill up enough for a mug or so, then cups the bottom with both hands, releasing a focused breath through her nose.</p>
<p>Heat trickles through her veins, down her limbs, and pools into her palms. Anna inhales again, taking in the sharp winter air flowing through the apartment, then exhales slowly once more. Miniscule traces of flame dance around her eyelashes, so small even she can barely see them. A scattering of embers buzz around the backside of her hands, along the thin hairs on her forearm, like curious fireflies. The kettle begins to glow a dull red between her hands and Anna finishes her song with a little trill as her wife steps from the hallway into the doorway of the kitchen, trying and failing to hide a massive yawn.</p>
<p>“Morning, Elsa.” Anna taps the sides of the kettle with her fingers. “Food or tea first today?”</p>
<p>Elsa regards Anna for a moment, then the stovetop. Both her ice blue eyes were still dark with sleep, exhausted after a long night of fun and revelry, but Anna knows they’d be their usual bright and sparkly soon enough. The same winter chill that seeps into Anna’s skin and bones to raise goosebumps is what energizes Elsa this time of year. While practically lethargic in the summer, come winter, especially this close to the solstice, all Elsa needs is a few deep breaths, the kind that froze and choked the throat of most people (Anna included) but ignites something in her, giving her a sheen that lasted all day.</p>
<p>But it was still a little too early to walk barefoot out on the snow covered lawn between apartment buildings, especially in just an oversized shirt and short pajama pants.</p>
<p>Well, at least on a weekday. On a weekend, anything goes.</p>
<p>Elsa seems to make up her mind, but instead of answering with words she steps forward and cradles Anna’s face with her hands, tilting her up into a gentle kiss. Anna smiles again, feeling Elsa do the same, and moves the hot kettle a little further away, just in case.</p>
<p>“Slight alteration,” Anna amends when they step apart. Elsa hugs her arms around Anna’s waist from the side, “Food of tea <em>second</em>, today?”</p>
<p>“Mmm, tea please,” Elsa murmurs.</p>
<p>“Coming right up.” Anna nods towards the window over the sink. “Do you want to recharge outside today?” Elsa was quiet again as she thought, then she shook her head, curling herself closer to Anna.</p>
<p>“I want you to do it, if that’s okay.”</p>
<p>Anna kisses blindly in Elsa’s direction, catching the top of her cheek just below her eye. “Of course! Just a moment then.”</p>
<p>They watch and listen, the kettle growing hotter in Anna’s hands. Elsa hugs her tighter, relishing Anna’s warmth. Tendrils of flame dance along Anna’s hair, pulled back away from her face in a simple braid that let the rest cascade down her back. Her already red hair takes on a subtle glow, like the coals at the bottom of a cook-fire, pulsing with heat as Anna concentrates. More little embers dislodge themselves as Anna rolls her head, cracking a few joints in her neck. They flicker and waver like lanterns in the night sky, fizzling long before they are dangerous. They light up so prettily against Elsa’s hair, catching something a little magical in return.</p>
<p>In the dim morning light, Elsa’s hair hides tiny ice crystals, shimmering like glitter. The ice was always there, not just for fun occasions like last night. Sometimes they are thin and weak like the barest translucent coating of rainwater after the night dips just chilly enough to freeze. Other times it’s bushy and delicate, stabbing this way and that but collapsing under the faintest touch. And, very rarely, it was hard and thick like ocean rime, sticking Elsa’s hair up in all directions like a lion at the salon. It all depended on the weather, and Elsa’s mood, and the alignment of the moon and– well actually a lot of things, but right now the faint dusting mostly meant that Elsa was extremely low on power. Not <em>energy</em>, per say, that problem could be solved with calories, rest, and relaxation the same as any normal human, but her <em>power</em> reserves had faded, taking with them a little extra spark. It explains her persisting drowsiness and inability to keep her bangs from hanging over her face.</p>
<p>Eventually the kettle whistles and rattles in Anna’s hands. A mug is retrieved from the cabinets (Elsa’s favorite, the one with the little dancing snowmen) and tea begins to steep in hot water. Anna puts the remainder on the stove, flipping the bacon and stirring the oatmeal to prevent it from burning. Her palms still glow slightly orange but they dim quickly as Anna stops tapping into the magic flowing through her blood.</p>
<p>Long ago, when the world was younger and still marveled at the things that hid beyond the pale, one of Anna’s ancestors had decided the best thing to do was have a relationship with a being of fire from another plane of existence. Happens to the best of us. Skipping and hopping through the generational gene pool forever after had been the gift of heat and flame. So Anna’s parents hadn’t been <em>entirely</em> surprised by their child’s ability to sneeze fire on command, but it <em>had</em> been a learning curve. In modern day, magic was common, but spread so thin that most people hardly had any power at all. So when someone like Anna came along, or Elsa, with a magic that made parlor tricks look, well, cheap, it was a rare thing indeed. It also made the dating scene a little complicated. Rare enough to find someone magical, more rare still to find a compatible partner. Shrink that already small pool into a quarter-sized drop on the countertop to account for the difficulty it is to get lesbians to admit any feelings for each other, and the chances that Anna and Elsa got together at all shrank to atom-sized.</p>
<p>And yet, the two of them had felt since the very first moment they met that there was always something meant to happen between them. And they were grateful everyday that that ‘something’ ended up being each other’s forever.</p>
<p>Anna walks back to the table, setting the mug down within easy reach of her wife who had seated herself at the kitchen table. Elsa sniffs appreciatively, a gentle lemon, honey, and black tea steam wafting against her nose. It’s perfect, and she looks forward to being able to drink it. But first things first. Or third, as it was turning out.</p>
<p>Reaching under the hem, Elsa pulls her shirt over her head, exposing the entirety of her bare back. Her skin glistens faintly; more ice, Anna knows, small enough to be microscopic. Elsa releases a breath, not at the chill in the air but in anticipation. Anna takes the shirt and drapes it over an adjacent chair.</p>
<p>“Comfortable?” Anna asks, leaning over the back of Elsa’s chair, close to the shell of her ear. Her wife nods and makes a tired affirmative noise that kicks a laugh out of Anna. “Okay, okay, no more delay.”</p>
<p>“Just a little,” Elsa manages softly. “I can do the rest later.”</p>
<p>Anna considers this before running her thumb across the top pads of her fingers, finishing with a snap. A brilliant orange flame appears over her hand, smokeless and bobbing, a little larger than a golf ball. It’s twin sprouts from her other hand, and Anna begins.</p>
<p>Though there were undoubtedly many ways to accomplish this task, it had become important to both women that this recharge process be soft, gentle, and giving. Anna starts with Elsa’s shoulders, stretching down to nuzzle her chin into the crook of Elsa’s neck as she descended the length of her wife’s arms. The flames do not scorch or burn, don’t melt away skin and bone, but flow, like a gel, coating Elsa’s arms as Anna leisurely moves from elbow to wrist. Elsa had once compared the feeling to being wrapped in a heated towel, inch by luxurious inch, and now she hums appreciatively as Anna reaches the end of her hand and comes back up, tracing the underside of her forearms. Anna’s scent is all around her, and Elsa inhales deeply, endearment blossoming in her chest. Unlike the fires of man, Anna doesn’t smell of ash or charcoal but the headiness of warm sap, the sugary sweetness of a marshmallow, and the cheery wood-smoke of cedar and pine. Occasionally, when she’s hungry, Anna smells of cooking (which only makes the problem worse), but even that is something Elsa loves about her.</p>
<p>Anna reaches the crest of Elsa’s shoulder and drags the flames up the slope of her neck, her touch becoming softer. Thinner tissue didn’t need as much heat, but she smiles when Elsa tilts her head forward to allow better access, her white-blonde hair spilling over her head like a curtain. Her fingertips sink into Elsa’s hair, the flat of her palms covering the space behind her ears. Elsa sighs when Anna drags her thumbs past the pressure point at the base of her skull, massaging her flames into Elsa’s hairline. Finished with that spot Anna dips back down, into Elsa’s back, running her hands along smooth shoulder blades. It’s a bit of a difficult reach because of the chair, but Anna makes it work. She knows every inch of Elsa’s body, follows every indent of her spine, and makes her touch light when she moves outwards to Elsa’s sides. Elsa twitches anyway, always being a tad ticklish, but Anna adjusts and it doesn’t happen a second time. There is of course, always the temptation to reach all the way around, knowing that Elsa is naked beneath her hands, but there were better occasions for that. Right now, Anna just wants Elsa to return to her usual self.</p>
<p>The changes happen when Anna climbs back up Elsa’s back to her shoulders and starts anew.</p>
<p>This time, the glob of fire retreats back into Anna’s hands, lighting up her skin with patterns so old they’ve lost their meaning. Flickering swirls and glowing symbols stretch past her palm into her arms. Now, when Anna touches the residue left on her first pass, it dissolves, sinking into Elsa, past her muscles and bones to reach beyond, to her own icy magic.</p>
<p>Elsa trembles and her breath hitches. In the wake of Anna’s hands grows coarse white fur, spiraling down the outside of her arms, sweeping up the nape of her neck, and tangling along the ridge of her spine. It’s not overly long, barely an inch at Elsa’s elbow and two at the line where shoulders and spine meet. Anna loves every bit of it, especially knowing that it was what made Elsa really truly <em>Elsa</em>, even if they both weren’t exactly sure what that meant. Though the origin of Anna’s magic was well known, Elsa’s wasn’t. They had guesses of course, but there were a surprising amount of magical creatures that loved the cold and had fur. Not too many had Elsa’s recharge ability though, consuming heat and flame within their body to create more cold, so that narrowed down the list a little. Technically, it eliminated Anna’s favorite guess, the one that made her wife blush prettily and push her away when Anna teased. She just couldn’t see a Tundra Salamander making the noises Elsa did, especially while ah, intimate….</p>
<p>But, Frost Trolls on the other hand…</p>
<p>None of that matters though as Elsa exhales and steam comes out, her chilled breath hitting the warmer air. The ice crystals in her hair multiply and grow, letting Elsa frost her bangs above her head as she prefers. Her eyes flash blue as she leans back, looking up at Anna, so much more alive and alert than before. Her voice practically bubbles with light as she says, “Thank you, Anna,” and smiles, revealing the smallest hint of elongated canines. She pulls Anna down to place a kiss on the underside of her chin.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome,” Anna replies. And she tries to hide it, she really does, but buried in those two words is a little rasp, a little drag, and Elsa notices immediately.</p>
<p>“Oh, Anna,” Elsa gets up, studying her wife’s face. Anna’s grin has a little less brilliance, her eyes a little more grey than green, a flame turned down to conserve fuel. Elsa frowns, a little pout on her lips. “I said only a little.”</p>
<p>“I know, but you were still tired from last night, and the days before, I could tell,” Anna defends, even as she sinks into Elsa’s touch. Though she was loathe to admit it, fatigue pulls at her from the chest down, her arms feeling heavy and leaden. Power trickles through them sluggishly, and instead of floating away, Anna’s embers begin to sink to the floor.</p>
<p>Elsa helps Anna into the same chair she had occupied, putting her shirt back on too. She presses a kiss to Anna’s hairline, just above her forehead, then finishes what Anna started before she’d arrived. All the food gets plated and bowled, utensils appear, and another mug gets pulled down from the cabinet, this time covered in sunflowers. Elsa adds a pot of water to the coffee machine, waving her hand at Anna when she tries to get up. “I’ll handle it, let me take care of you, too,” Elsa insists when Anna hesitates to sit. Her wife may not have the same ability to consume another’s magic to refuel, but caffeine was a totally normal, totally reasonable, lovingly aromatic substitute. </p>
<p>Elsa cracks two more eggs in the pan and adds more bacon before bringing everything to the table. Anna’s eyes light up at the bounty before her, tucking in immediately. Coffee percolates and Elsa adds sugar and cream. She puts a hand over the rim as Anna grabs for the mug, looking at her pointedly. Anna has the good graces to blush lightly, her eagerness bludgeoning past her common sense. Fire powers or not, a burnt tongue was still a burnt tongue. While Anna eats, Elsa adds frozen strawberries to her oatmeal, popping one in her mouth idly. The hot food would melt the rest eventually, but Elsa preferred them this way. It gives Anna brain freeze just watching her.</p>
<p>Elsa wraps her hands around the tea that has been steeping for a while now, a warmth spreading from her heart that has nothing to do with the beverage or the food. Energy returns to Anna’s movements, the green tint of her eyes gleam, and her little embers hover like impatient pets, as though they too will be fed from the same plate.</p>
<p>Speaking of, it’s suddenly empty, and Elsa hides a grin inside her mug at Anna’s unsubtle glance at the stove top. But when Anna pushes back her chair to serve herself, Elsa stops her again, loading Anna’s plate instead and bringing it back with a smile and another kiss. Anna smelled like French toast, and Elsa made a mental note to buy cinnamon and another dozen eggs to make batter. But later, not today. They both had taken the rest week off so they had nothing but lazy days to look forward to until the end of the year. They’d have plenty of time, plenty of moments.</p>
<p>Elsa hoped the rest of the year –no, the rest of their lives–  would be filled with more moments like these: with good food, ample love, and just a little bit of heat.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Cuddle Corner (Part 2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Anna returns to Cuddle Corner, knowing she has to make up with Elsa, and uncertain about what she'll find</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Everyone and their grandmother wanted me to do a sequel to this which means you all have great taste and love unanswered questions. It's also great because /I've/ wanted a sequel to Cuddle Corner since 2015 (seriously, that's the original document date on my GDrive, 3 days after I posted to first one) It's been a long time coming, and it's worth the wait.</p>
<p>This chapter is also dedicated to Fruipit, to whom I still owe a much larger fic but here I am on the one year anniversary of promising it with a gift I hope you will love just as much &lt;3</p>
<p>Special shout out to everyone who left comments, anonymous or not. You make writing that much more fun &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The background buzz of the mall’s food court droned around Anna and Kristoff as they dug into their meals. Work would come calling soon, but it was their lunch break, and the reuben’s they made here were well worth the drive, the parking nightmare, and the overpriced soft drink that came with it.</p>
<p>Kristoff watched Anna. While generally a reserved man, his quiet was different now, observant. After devouring half of his sandwich, the rest remained practically untouched, but Anna was too busy enjoying her food to notice. Too busy that is, until Kristoff cleared his throat.</p>

<p></p><div class="">
  <p></p>
  <div class="">
    <p>“I think you should go back.”</p>
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  <div class="">
    <p>Her sandwich stopped halfway to her mouth. "We are not talking about this." "Anna..." Kristoff leaned forward, posture set firm. Anna met his gaze with equal and opposite determination - and to her credit, she gave it her all. But it was like trying to bully a mountain by throwing pebbles, and eventually she closed her eyes, giving in with a measured inhale and exhale. "You know why I can't." "Yeah, so you've told me." "Then you'll have to forgive me for being short," Anna scowled. "I thought I'd made it clear that <em>that </em>could never be allowed to happen again." "So, what?” Kristoff raised an eyebrow. “You're just going to keep yourself on house arrest and never interact with another human being ever again?" Anna put her meal down. Based on the way her stomach was already tightening in knots, she wasn't getting back to it anyway. "Of course not, that's absurd." Kristoff spread his arms, awaiting an explanation. "Why are you doing this?"</p>
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</div><div class="">
  <p>"Because I care about you, Anna." Kristoff's face softened. "I won't go so far as to say I know how you feel, because I know that I don't and never truly will. But I do know <em>you</em>. And you haven't been yourself since that appointment." Anna stared at the tabletop, arms close to center. "I know you don't want to talk about it," Kristoff continued, "but whatever happened–"</p>
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  <p>“<em>Nothing happened</em>!” Anna shouted, drawing concerned looks from the other patrons. The words cut like glass. Her throat felt raw, heart bleeding as it pumped jagged pieces through her chest. She drew her hands back even further when Kristoff offered his own from across the table. She couldn’t. Not now.</p>
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  <p>God, she hated crying.</p>
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  <p>A foot nudged hers gently. Anna blinked back the tears, remembering where she was and who she was talking to. This was Kristoff, and he knew her better than anyone.</p>
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  <p>“Anna, you’re hurting.” He tapped his foot on top of hers, doing it again when she remained silent. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, “but I can’t watch that big goofy heart of yours shrink in on itself any longer.”</p>
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  <p>He paused and Anna felt the sharp teeth of dread.</p>
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  <p>“Was it Elsa?”</p>
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  <p>Anna’s eyes widened. “No! No, Elsa was… Elsa was perfect.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You said it reminded you of before.”</p>
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  <p>“And I stand by that, sort of.” Another nudge and this time Anna tapped Kristoff’s foot back, bringing a smile to his brown eyes. She gave him one of her own, small and weak in comparison. “Elsa was completely professional. We established boundaries and she constantly checked in on me to make sure I was okay. She never did anything without my say-so and she cared about my well-being.” Anna’s expression soured. “Which is exactly where everything went wrong. We hugged, sat together, swapped stories. I felt like I’d known her my whole life! I was even brave enough to put my head in her lap. I got so caught up that I forgot why I can’t do that sort of thing anymore.”</p>
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  <p>Kristoff offered his hand again and she took it, grateful for his patience. “When that timer went off, everything came flooding back. <em>Everything</em>. Guilt and fear and crushed hope. I threw all of it in her face. Elsa, she... she didn’t deserve that.” Anna’s shoulders dropped with the admission, a weight slipping the ground. She glanced up at Kristoff and shrugged awkwardly. “You know the rest. I’ve avoided talking about it and spent all my free time at home, trying to get my shit together.” She inhaled shakily. “I really thought I was done with this.”</p>
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  <p>A soothing thumb brushed the back of her hand. She tentatively reached out with her sneaker, warmth softening the sharp edges in her chest when Kristoff bumped her back.</p>
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  <p>“I’m guessing that means you haven’t called her back, even though you have her card.” Kristoff leaned forward. “You… do still have it?”</p>
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  <p>Anna nodded. “Right where I left it, stuffed as far down into my jacket pocket as possible.”</p>
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  <p>“I think you <em>should </em>call her,” He said after a moment of thought.</p>
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  <p>“Kristoff.” Anna took back her hand, bottom lip caught between her teeth. “I know you’re just trying to help but how many times do I have to say that we, Elsa and I, cannot be a thing? Being ‘a thing’ means spending time together, spending time together means we’ll be affectionate, and being affectionate leads to… more. A-And I can’t give, more.”</p>
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  <p>“Which is why I’m not suggesting that in the least,” Kristoff replied, face set. “I’m merely saying you call her so she doesn’t think you hate her.”</p>
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  <p><em>Ouch</em>. That hurt.</p>
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  <p>“You’re not the kind of person to wrong someone,” Kristoff continued, “let alone wrong someone and not apologize.” More gently he added, “I know you enjoyed spending time with her, anxiety aside. You’re not even going to give her the chance? Not even to be friends? Professional chums?”</p>
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  <p>“I don’t know, Kristoff,” Anna crossed her arms. “Are you friends with <em>your</em> therapist?”</p>
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  <p>“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”</p>
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  <p>“Oh.”</p>
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  <p>Kristoff grinned. “You were expecting me to say no, weren’t you?” Anna eyed the rest of her meal by way of answer. “I know she’s not your therapist, and trust me, I understand the urge to keep absolutely everything between you and Elsa professional. But sometimes in a space like that, where it’s just the two of you, you have to be honest too. Sometimes the best way for them to help you is to… well, let them help you.”</p>
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  <p>“Eloquent.”</p>
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  <p>“Just another way of saying I’m right, which I will take, thank you.” </p>
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  <p>Anna snorted at his antics, smiling a little too. But in the silence that followed the chilling trace of fear wound it’s way under her skin, trailing beneath her bones. She pressed her fingertips to her sternum. Heart and mind said two different things, and it was too soon to decide whether the fleeting spark of hope Kristoff was inspiring would save or destroy her.</p>
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  <p>“Please,” Kristoff pleaded, “no more of this. However you need to frame it -- for her sake or yours -- make things right with Elsa.”</p>
  <hr/>
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  <p>Anna steeled herself, dial pad staring accusingly when she hesitated again before punching in the number on the card. Her hand shook as she put the phone to her ear. </p>
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  <p>She begged for voicemail.</p>
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  <p>"Hello?” <em>Dammit</em>. “Elsa speaking."</p>
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  <p>“H-Hey Elsa," she cleared her throat, suddenly hoarse. "It's Anna."</p>
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  <p>"Anna!" Came the joyful cry, "Wow, Anna I'm... I'm really glad to hear from you." Anna didn't know what to say so she didn't respond. "What can I help you with?"</p>
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  <p>"I um, I know it’s been forever since we met but I was thinking…” She took a deep breath. She wanted this, didn’t she? “I, wanted to see you again.”</p>
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  <p>Immediately Anna knew she’d screwed up. “In what way?” Elsa’s voice was dangerously low, cautious in a way that nearly broke Anna’s soft heart. <em>No, not afraid of me, please no</em>.</p>
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  <p>“As in an appointment,” Anna rushed, backpedaling so fast she felt dizzy.</p>
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  <p>"Really?” Elsa sounded back to normal, even delightfully surprised. “I mean, of course. That’s why I gave you my number after all.” She laughed, high and breathy. “When would you like to come in?"</p>
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  <p>Anna hadn't even checked her calendar. Could she be any less prepared? "Um," Anna racked her brain, trying to find an open slot, "how about Saturday?"</p>
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  <p>"Saturday is good. I have a noon and a four o'clock, whichever works better for you."</p>
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  <p>"Four is better."</p>
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  <p>"Great! I'll see you then," Elsa exclaimed. There was a moment of quiet, then, "And hey, Anna?"</p>
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  <p>Anna swallowed. Elsa's voice had changed again, completely. It was painfully searching, even if Elsa tried to hide with brevity. "Yeah?"</p>
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  <p>"Thanks... for giving me a second chance."</p>
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  <p>Elsa hung up, leaving Anna to wonder how she would manage to survive the next three days.</p>
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  <hr/>
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  <p>The waiting room was all too familiar, despite the fact she hadn't been back in months. The music hadn't changed, the buddha statue was still fat and happy, and the reeds still looked fake. Or real. Or both.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A different receptionist checked her in, all smiles and good smells. Apricot, Anna realized as she found a seat. Easy, considering she was the only one here, but unfortunate, since all she really wanted to do was hide.</p>
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  <p>But Kristoff was right, this was going to be for the best. Elsa, though they'd only interacted for an hour, deserved much more than Anna’s surprisingly cold shoulder.</p>
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  <p>"Anna?" Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't heard the door open. She looked up and found a pair of eager blue eyes, tempered in a way they shouldn't be. Too cautious.</p>
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  <p>She'd been hurt.</p>
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  <p>Shit.</p>
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  <p>“I’m–. We… are ready to see you now.” Elsa waved her clipboard. “If you’ll just follow me.” </p>
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  <p>Down the hall, past the same differently decorated rooms. Elsa’s open white button-down flared over black jeans as she walked, pale braided hair swinging back and forth delicately. It was nice, Anna thought, all these stark negatives against the baked clay hue of the walls and stained wood of the picture frames. Well, not negatives, Elsa could never be a <em>negative</em>, not like that. Anna was just appreciating the contrast–</p>
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  <p>She looked up when Elsa coughed. “We’re here,” she said for what must have been the second time. Anna immediately recognized it as the same room they’d been in when she was here last.</p>
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  <p>“Is this your room then?” she asked, moving inside.</p>
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  <p>Elsa shook her head. “We get a room assigned at random unless the client specifies. Technically you got the one two doors down but I thought since you knew this one and I didn’t want you to feel…” Her eyes changed, losing their confidence. “Unless you wanted another room, then–”</p>
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  <p>“Thank you,” Anna stopped her, touched by her concern. “This one is perfect.”</p>
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  <p>Elsa closed the door and handed over the clipboard. “So. Anna. Sign a few places and we can get started, same as last time.” She froze, searching Anna’s face. “Or not the same since, well…,” she trailed off.</p>
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  <p>They both looked at the door handle.</p>
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  <p>Anna swallowed, fighting the anxiety suddenly clogging up her throat. She realized that if this was going to work, <em>she </em>was the one who needed to set expectations too. Anna scribbled her name, then tucked the pen under her thumb and held out her other hand, palm up. “It won’t be the same,” she said with a confidence she was still finding. “It’ll be better.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She saw Elsa hesitate, meeting Anna’s gaze instead. Her expression was schooled but Anna saw the cheer in her eyes. “That’s cheating,” she replied, humor lending warmth to her voice, “your time hasn’t started.”</p>
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  <p>“Then let’s start.”</p>
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  <p>Now Elsa smiled, unfiltered and without shadow.</p>
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  <p>Elsa set another timer on her phone, laying it down on the table. Caught up by the slowly ticking numbers on the screen, Anna nearly started when Elsa took the hand she’d offered before. Thankfully, Anna turned the reflex into a motion towards the bed. “Shall we?”</p>
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  <p>Elsa raised an eyebrow. “Who are you and what have you done to Anna Fields?” She chuckled, but let herself be led across the room.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ms. Fields has had a lot of time to think.” Anna settled herself on the side of bed, dropping her purse off her shoulder. “And she’s got some things to say.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The mattress dipped on her right as Elsa settled next to her. Their hands were still connected. Anna took a deep breath, settling her nerves, “Starting with, ‘I’m sorry’.” Elsa made a humming noise and rubbed her thumb across Anna’s knuckles. “I’m sorry that I left things the way I did, I promise I’m not usually so… volatile. I know I didn’t explode on you or anything but, it must have felt like a switch got flipped. One second perfectly relaxed, the next…” In her mind Anna heard the timer again, felt the tightening pull of her muscles, saw the half remembered steps to the door. Her free hand clenched over her knee. “A-And I wouldn’t look at you, I couldn’t.” She felt Elsa’s eyes on her now, and the irony that Anna was struggling to meet her gaze, still, wasn’t lost on her.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When a few moments passed without either speaking, Elsa shifted, kicking her shoes off and pulling her legs up onto the bed. “I know you have more to say, and I want to hear it. But we are the Cuddle Corner after all. Can we try this?” Elsa moved behind her, then turned her back and sat cross-legged, facing the opposite wall. “I think you’ll like this one,” she said, speaking a little louder so her voice carried. “Just mirror what I’m doing, and rest your back against mine.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna thought about it, but only for a moment before she reoriented herself and slowly eased against Elsa. Then she shifted, straightening her back and sitting up taller. <em>Of course</em> Elsa had good posture. At least, better than her own.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Relax,” Elsa said calmly, though Anna heard the distinct upward lilt of humor buried in that one word. “And when you’re ready, place the back of your head on mine, too.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna could feel every one of Elsa’s breaths, expanding lightly against her spine. It was distracting, but pleasantly so, soothing and gentle. Finally Anna tilted her head back, looking straight ahead.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How are you doing?” Elsa asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna closed her eyes and breathed deep. Her awareness traveled from her head to her center, where things were still a little messy, but more calm than before, quieter. “Better,” she replied honestly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Good.” She felt Elsa raise her chin. “Try to keep looking forward. You’ll want to speak to the side or turn your head, to see my facial expressions. But,” she paused. Anna heard the smile step into her voice and she couldn’t help the one that grew to match, “part of this exercise is to trust what you feel and hear coming from the other person, without relying on what you see. Is that still okay?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna straightened again. From the crown of her head to the tips of her toes, she felt a peace steal over her. Maybe it was something about the position, or maybe it was the rhythm of Elsa’s breath. She wrapped that feeling around her like a cloak, snug, overlapping her heart.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>In answer, she continued where she left off.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“At the end of last session I… wasn’t myself. I shouldn’t have left like that. Shouldn’t have left you like that. You didn’t deserve it, especially because, well, it wasn’t your fault.” Anna shifted, attempting to look over her shoulder before remembering Elsa’s advice. “I want to make that very clear: you, Elsa? Did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything <em>right</em>. You just, <em>pah</em>-,” Anna made a little outward motion with her hands, a small explosion, “made everything work, just for a moment.” Anna felt more than heard Elsa’s small giggle against her back and felt her ears get hot. “Yeah I’m, not always the best with words.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s more common than you think,” Elsa replied. Anna saw her move her hand out of the corner of her eye. “When you can’t see someone it’s normal to raise your voice and use your hands more, since you’re still trying to get your point across with less to work with.” There was that laugh again, hitching against her ribs. “Though I get the feeling you talk with your hands anyway.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“My family knows not to keep glassware around me after dinner, yes,” Anna snorted. “And Kristoff stocks the break room with extra napkins, just for me.” She rolled her eyes. “Real charmer that one.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I think you mentioned this man, Kristoff, the last time you were here too,” Elsa said softly. “He must mean a lot to you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah!” Anna beamed. “He was the first friend I made at my job and now…,” she paused, considering, “well now I think he’s my <em>best </em>friend.” </p>
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  <p>Elsa made a noise of curiosity, a little wordless question. “I would have thought he was your brother, the way you sound when you talk about him.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You wouldn’t be the first,” Anna sighed, leaning back into Elsa. “It’s probably because we hug and hold hands and he gives me piggy back rides across the parking lot just for the fun of it. I tried to give him one once and nearly broke my knee. I’m strong, but he’s a <em>mountain man</em>.” Anna laughed to herself. “Actually, people think we’re dating most of the time.”</p>
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  <p>“Oh?” Elsa sounded genuinely surprised, the sound bouncing high off the walls, “you’re not?”</p>
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  <p>“Nnnnnope!” Anna replied, popping the ‘p’. “I mean he’s sweet and all: attentive, caring, soft-hearted. Anyone would be lucky to have him. But I’ve never thought of him that way.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Instantly Anna felt a flush creep up her neck, and she sat forward. “W-Well,” she stammered, “not <em>like that</em> like that, I mean. Sure he can be charming in a rough sort of way sometimes and it feels really nice to be held in his arms because he’s so much bigger than me and yes we buy each other gifts just because we know it’ll make the other person happy b-but… I…” she swallowed, staring at the bed spread past her legs. “N-Not like, the anything that comes after… all that.” Anna fussed with the hair behind her ear, self-conscious. “But I suppose if I had to pick a dude, he’d be really great.”</p>
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  <p>Anna thought she heard an, “Oh,” from Elsa again but she wasn't sure. She realized they weren’t touching anymore, and in the same heartbeat realized that she’d sort of, almost, accidentally come out to Elsa.</p>
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  <p>A pit opened in her stomach, enough that her heart dropped just a little, enough for anxiety to find a little home and buzz through her chest.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was a soft ball, an underhand throw, of a coming out, easily brushed aside or misinterpreted. Elsa was professional, she probably wouldn’t even ask.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna <em>really </em>wanted her to ask. But she also <em>really </em>didn’t.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But mostly she just didn’t want Elsa to feel <em>weird </em>about her.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Anna?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa was looking at her, over her own shoulder. “Are you okay?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Me?” Anna blinked. “Am I--. Of course I’m okay. Oh, shit,” she scooched backwards until she felt Elsa’s waist again and leaned back, touching her head to Elsa’s. “I left the position, sorry.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa was quiet for a moment, and Anna swore she could feel Elsa’s thoughts winding themselves down her spine. But Elsa’s next words held only warmth. “It’s more about the exercise than anything else,” she said, and Anna could tell she was still speaking over her shoulder, directly to her. “You can leave it at any time, for any reason. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m not uncomfortable, promise,” Anna twisted to face Elsa. “I think I’m just really bad at… explaining… myself…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa’s eyes softened and for a moment Anna couldn’t see anything else. They were so <em>close</em>. She’d turned and now they were breathing the same air. Inches. Centimeters.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He used to call this kissing distance.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Anna?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes?” Anna murmured. Every nerve in her body was aware of itself. Her skin prickled with their energy, thorned as a rose.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Ever,” Elsa stated firmly. She leaned back into Anna, the smallest upward turn on her lips. “I don’t need to understand to care.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But Anna saw that she <em>did </em>understand. And better, that Elsa wasn’t afraid of her, or anything Anna brought with her.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And that was… a lot.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna closed her eyes, took a deep breath--</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And flopped down against the plush mattress.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She heard Elsa laugh behind her hand as she opened her eyes. “Too much?” Elsa asked, humor making lines around her eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, not too much, just,” Anna mulled her words over, “you make it sound so easy. You make <em>this </em>so easy,” Anna gestured with both hands to the space above her head broadly, encapsulating the room and everything in it, physical and immaterial. “I started out apologizing, and those thoughts were all tangled up in my head because I wanted to be sincere and make this time different and <em>it is</em> different, so different, and I guess now I’m just, really… really grateful.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa nodded as Anna finished. “There’s a part of me that wants to say, ‘Well, it’s my job after all’, but I really am glad that I’ve been able to help, Anna.” She laid herself down too, on her side, propping her head up on her hand. “And in case you’re the kind of person that needs to hear it: I forgive you, Anna, so you don’t need to apologize anymore.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A great breath washed out of Anna. She stared up at the ceiling, arms outstretched. “Thank you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After a brief pause, Elsa replied, “I’d actually already forgiven you, before you got here.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna sat up on her elbows. “What? Why? I hadn’t even said anything yet!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It was the fact that you called at all.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“But--! That doesn’t…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa held up her hand and shook her head. “You’re overthinking it,” she said gently, “which is alright, since that’s what I pegged you for anyway.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna went to reply but stopped herself, trapping the air in her cheek. Then, she said, “You know, it’s not terribly cuddly to insult your clients, Elsa.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hmm, true,” Elsa acquiesced, though her tone begged to differ. “What I mean is, you struck me as a ‘Thinker’ is all, even on your first visit.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“A ‘Thinker’?” Elsa nodded again. “Like the guy who sits on a rock all serious-like?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Not quite,” Elsa chuckled, “although at times I’m sure that makes for a good analogy. I can explain it for you, but we’re still on your time here.” Elsa sat up, cross-legged, similar to Anna’s first visit. “The last few times I’ve been making the suggestions to help you relax, but I saw you take initiative when you first got here, and I want you to feel like this is your space as well. Now, as much as you’re comfortable, what do you want me to do?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh</em>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna gulped. It wasn’t that big of an ask, and it made sense. Boundaries, two sets. A middle ground of mutually agreed upon comfort and engagement. She could do this.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa sat patiently, in no rush at all. Anna looked back up at the ceiling and pondered. Suddenly a phantom feeling stole over her. Another time, another place. Someone warm next to her. A starlit sky above, cold ground below.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“On my stomach,” Anna said out loud. She turned her head and saw Elsa’s bewildered expression. “Sometimes when Kristoff and I hang out we lay on each other, and we’ll put our heads on the other’s belly.” Anna felt her face heat up a little, knowing it sounded more intimate than it really was. At least, not that way, but people usually didn’t believe that. “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I can think of another one.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Won’t I be too heavy?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna blinked. “Huh?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Won’t it hurt?” Elsa rephrased. “Heads weigh more than people think, and stomachs are notoriously soft.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A beat passed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Then Anna laughed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>At first it was small, like the quick kind of chortle and dash of amusement from an inside joke, but it rapidly changed to loud, full from her chest laughter, curling her legs towards her ribs in an attempt to contain it. Elsa’s concern was so endearing, and it soothed parts of Anna that were still hidden in the dark, but it was also utterly silly, too.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And that made the last trace of Anna’s trepidation disappear like mist in the morning.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Notorious is a strong word,” Anna managed past her giggles. “I’m not sure who told you that, but maybe that’s just about <em>your </em>head.” One of Elsa’s eyebrows raised to acknowledge the comment, but as smooth as she tried to pass herself off, Anna could see how her mouth twitched with her own tamped laughter.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s not terribly cuddly to insult your local professional, Anna,” she mimicked, sending Anna back into hysterics.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ll… be <em>fine</em>,” Anna wheezed, wiping a tear from her eye as she flattened out again. “Kristoff is literally twice your size, I think I’ll make it.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Okay well,” Elsa lowered herself down, resting the back of her head lightly on Anna’s side with barely any weight at all. “Like this?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah except you’re going to put your neck out like that,” Anna teased. “I said it was okay, Elsa. Trust <em>me </em>this time.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After a moment of hesitation Elsa moved further back until she was fully settled, her shoulders hitting Anna’s hip and lower ribs. She sighed, making a few more adjustments until Anna could tell she was comfortable too.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They breathed in silence for a while, listening to each other. Anna realized she hadn’t eaten in a while and worried, briefly, that her body might make that fact known, but she supposed it wasn’t anything Elsa hadn’t heard before.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So what were you saying earlier?” Anna re-broached the subject. “About how I… think things too much?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s not always the <em>amount </em>that you’re thinking,” Elsa chuckled. Anna felt the sound reverberate across her stomach and chest, warm and light. Elsa talked upwards, her head rising and falling in time with Anna’s breathing. “People process things in a lot of different ways, but many find that conceptualizing two categories - Thinking and Feeling - helps them more easily navigate those styles. Some people analyze and scrutinize and run over scenarios from as many angles as they can, and sometimes they do that to an excessive amount, which can cause more anxiety than it reduces. And some people,” she reached out and patted the bedspread. It was probably just to indicate that she was speaking about Anna, like the back to back exercise where they couldn’t see each other, but for some reason Anna reached out too, and put her hand beneath Elsa’s. She heard Elsa smile as she continued explaining, curling their fingers together. “Some people just have emotions that drift and bounce and trace around their body all the time. They’ll sit with a feeling until they’ve experienced all that it can give. Maybe they experience joy that floats them for hours, but they also feel sadness that sinks them into a sea of their own making.” Elsa turned her face towards Anna. “I’m fairly certain you’re the first one.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Huh.” Anna thought for a moment, feeling Elsa’s weight with every inhale. “So you’re a Feeler then?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A smile tugged at Elsa’s lips. “How did you know?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna shrugged. “I didn’t really, I just guessed.” She looked back up, rubbing the back of Elsa’s hand idly with the pad of her thumb. “Although, now that I think about it, you’ve always been thought-<em>ful</em>. Always checking in on me, asking me good questions --those always felt more experienced than logical though, if that makes sense. But the reasoning behind them seems more intuitive, like you just… know.” Anna paused, struck by something. “Actually, I didn’t have the word for it then, but I think I noticed it back when I called you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“To… schedule this appointment?” Elsa asked, sounding a little mystified.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah. It was in the way your voice changed when--,” and now Anna stopped because she felt embarrassment crawling up the nape of her neck. “When I said I wanted to see you again.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh.” Elsa turned her head to look at Anna. She had the smallest grimace on her face. “Sorry, that was pretty unprofessional of me.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“On the contrary, I think checking to make sure your clients aren’t developing <em>that </em>kind of attachment to you is probably the <em>most </em>professional thing to do.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Well the paperwork helps,” Elsa hummed, “but you’re not wrong. Thankfully I haven’t encountered that problem yet, but I know some co-workers have.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It makes sense. I mean, this is the kind of thing most people imagine couples doing.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa shrugged. “Not everywhere. There are places where this is normal for family and friends, where physical affection isn’t locked behind the potential marital status of the individuals. And frankly, it’s normal here too, but not everyone experiences intimacy the same way.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Intimacy</em>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The word clings to Anna’s throat, even though she hadn’t said it. A tightness, a dark line from neck to stomach, pooling invisibly around light Elsa’s hair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“That’s good!” Anna blustered. “For them I mean, the people who get it. Wait no, not that the people who don’t feel that way are like-- What I mean to say is that that’s good! That people do that, somewhere: here, there, anywhere. I didn’t mean to say that people who don’t are doing bad, just, like, ‘Hey, good for them!’, you know?” She smacked her free hand over her eyes with a groan. “Grammar and statement of purpose have abandoned me. Feel free to tell me to stop talking whenever.” She felt Elsa’s laughter in the bunching of her shoulders against her stomach.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thinker,” Elsa chastised warmly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And then it just became… chatter.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Catching up, laughing at anecdotes, learning about the other. Elsa asked about Anna’s job and Anna responded that she was training some promising new hires who were positively electric about their fields. Anna asked Elsa about her day job, making a mental note to check out a charity event a few blocks from her work. The first appointment seemed like a lifetime ago, and now that the air was clear and they’d settled, a lifetime seemed like just the thing to fill up the room.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Until Elsa scrunched her eyes up and said, “Okay, I think we’ve got to change positions, I’m getting a little dizzy.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I get it,” Anna empathized, “it’s the ups and downs. It gets a little disorienting”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah.” Elsa sat up and blinked hard a few times, her hand splayed out wide on the bed to keep balance. They’d kept them mostly entwined over the last part of their session, but Anna couldn’t help talking with her hands and it turned out that, at times, neither could Elsa.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna stretched, feeling like a cat in a sunbeam. She was as comfy as she was last time with her head in Elsa’s lap, but this time she knew the timer couldn’t surprise her. That enough words had passed between them for old wounds to not rear their heads. And while she didn’t anticipate it, for that would mean the end of her time with Elsa (for now), she did acknowledge it’s reality, and she was not afraid.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But she was <em>damn </em>cozy though.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You look like you could fall asleep right there,” she heard Elsa say above her head. Anna opened her eyes to mirthful blue.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I think you’re right,” Anna agreed, blocking a yawn with her hand.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re welcome to take a nap. It’s--”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“--More common than you’d think,” Anna recited at the same time, making Elsa hide a smile behind her hand. There was a lot that Anna had learned in her short time here, but mostly that her knowledge of what people did when they felt safe and comforted was different than she’d expected. But it was a good kind of wrong to be, the eye-opening kind. The kind that made your heart feel a little bigger and softer. “You say that a lot.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Well it’s true!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t doubt it,” Anna held up her hands, placating. “I’m just saying, it’s like your catchphrase.” Anna swept her outstretched arm in an arc, wiggling her fingers, “‘The more you know!’, with Elsa, the Cuddle Expert.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa bumped her arm. “You’re a tease. But I mean it, you’ve got time. Even if you don’t fall asleep, laying back and relaxing <em>is </em>part of cuddling you know.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna stifled another yawn and turned onto her side. “I’ll at least sleep on top of the covers,” she replied, her voice dropping as she closed her eyes. “That way you don’t have to wash all the sheets.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Well they get washed anytime they’re used, and there’s spares in the hall closets but…,” she heard Elsa snicker, “you really think of everything, don’t you?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I think that joke has already run its course,” Anna smiled, then patted the open space in front of her invitingly. “C’mon, you might as well get a break too--.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The bed dipped behind her.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Well I can at least keep you warm this way; it’s kind of a classic cuddling position.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The words were joking and light, Elsa’s voice so close to her ear, practically glowing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t know who designed these rooms,” the voice continued, “but they let the air blow right above us. It gets incredibly chilly sometimes, and that’s coming from me of all people!” Forearms braced themselves against her spine, legs pressed against the back of her own, and soft exhales tickled the baby hairs at the nape of Anna’s neck.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And suddenly Anna was <em>not </em>at Cuddle Corner.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Her vision tunneled. The opposite wall retreated, backing itself down a long, dark corridor. Her peripherals feathered, the thorned, hyper-awareness from before screeching back, focused on the blazing points of contact between them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Anna</em>?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Her back was a ramrod, a live wire. When she breathed the air had nowhere to go, her lungs shallow and tight.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Breath on her neck and hands on her shoulders</em>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Anna?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa’s voice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna gasped, air traveling deeper, chest expanding, and the room returned to normal. Anna licked her lips, nerves settling under her skin, buzzing inside her ribs to join the dark feathers still flitting and hovering there.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Maybe we should switch.” The words were strained but Anna tried to make them sound casual. To make them sound less like they hurt and more like before, just moments before when everything was perfect.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“...Are you sure?” Elsa replied over Anna’s shoulder. She’d moved away, touch gone, leaving phantom prints behind. Anna hesitated but nodded slowly. “Okay…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The bed moved again. A moment later Elsa lowered herself down in front of Anna, facing away. Her braid was pulled over her shoulder, out of reach, exposing the light skin of her neck. Unable to see Elsa’s expression, Anna swallowed the dark, heavy thing inside her throat and attempted to gauge Elsa’s mood through posture alone.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You can come close,” Elsa said. A simple and straightforward invitation, but Anna thought she heard an edge creep into it, like something was slicing each letter off at the joint.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“R-Right. ‘Cuddle Corner’,” Anna said with feigned cheer, a little fain-fair. She laughed. Elsa laughed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was weird.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Slowly, uncertainty running under her palm, Anna reached her arm across Elsa’s chest. Her legs came up under Elsa’s until their bodies were nearly flush. She could smell Elsa’s shampoo, and felt her breathing against the crook of her elbow.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And she could tell immediately that Elsa wasn’t comfortable either.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was a weight in the room, a miasma escaping the seams between their bodies. It scraped between Anna’s fingers, threatening to lift her hand up entirely, and take it away.  Her eyes unfocused, the lines of Elsa’s body becoming blurred, trembling the way heat makes the air waver and shake.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa turned her head, so Anna could see the barest corner of her eye. “You’re pushing yourself,” she said quietly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna tightened her grip, a wordless promise, but stopped when Elsa flinched. “I’m not.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>I’m not</em>, she told herself. <em>Elsa is a good person. People do this all the time, even friends! This position, spooning… it’s about comfort, not anything else. Just… stop being all up in your head about this</em>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But Anna could sense herself backpedaling, falling backwards into herself. Right in front of her was the shell of Elsa's ear, the slope of her neck, the curl of her white-blonde hair before it twisted into her braid -- and it made Anna wonder...</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Was this... it? Was this what made people fall? A quiet moment, a scrap of skin. Was this enough to make them... feel?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Had it made him feel something, looking at Anna like this?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Warm fingers thread through hers, a bobber dropped into the well of her thoughts. Elsa's hand didn’t hold the sting of fear, and like sunlight on murky water a balm spread at her touch, expanding with each even breath.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But this time, it wasn’t enough.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna's thoughts rushed around her head, swirling, clinging, flying like beads snapped away from a string cut under stress. No longer sentences but fragments, worries and doubts in a whirlpool, sucking her down. What hadn't she done? What else could she do? How could she be so cold? Why couldn't she do this, for him? For anyone?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Why wasn't she enough?</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The trembling started in her shoulders. She couldn’t stop it anymore than she could stop time. Her arm shook and by the time it reached her wrist Anna silently <em>begged </em>Elsa not to notice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But of course she did.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa turned in their embrace, her eyes widening for just a moment before she cupped Anna’s face, lightly, so light with her first touches, before brushing away a tear.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna hadn’t even realized she was crying.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s okay Anna, you’re safe here.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna hiccuped, her chest stuttering as more tears splashed against Elsa’s thumbs. She found Elsa’s forearms and held her tight, needing something beneath her hands. “I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa shook her head. “Don’t be. You’ve apologized more than you’ve ever needed.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Then Elsa’s forehead is nestled against Anna’s own. Anna doesn’t know how to react as Elsa’s eyes slip closed and she breathes slowly, carefully, like she’s counting the second. Anna feels herself matching the time, even as the sobs she harbored keep trying to find a way out. They get smaller, a boulder, then a rock, then a pebble in her lungs. Elsa’s soft exhales washed over Anna’s face, her very presence a well of tranquility, like immersing one’s hand in the cool waters of a brook. Elsa felt like flowing water, a place Anna could lay down the things that dragged her down, setting them adrift, letting the current carry them for a while.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna didn’t know how long they stayed like that. Long enough for the tears to start to dry, and the rawness of her throat to begin healing. But it couldn’t last forever.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Again the patter of rain, the rumble of thunder, and the distant, muted buzz of Elsa’s phone vibrating across the room. Anna exhaled a shuddering breath.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“The timer,” she croaked, voice like sludge, addled by tears.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ignore it,” Elsa murmured, pressing her face closer.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“B-But it’s over--”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s okay.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna attempted to shake her head, but Elsa merely brushed her cheeks with her thumbs. “You have another client. Another appointment.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Elsa…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Anna.” Elsa opened her eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>This close, Anna couldn’t mistake what she saw. Even if she didn’t have a name for it. And maybe there wasn’t a name to call the emotion heavy in Elsa’s eyes -- the eyes of a still-stranger, an almost-friend -- but whatever it was settled the last prickling nerve in Anna’s heart, soothed the last lash in Anna’s memory, and finally let her breathe long enough to listen. “I don’t have another appointment, you were my last for the day. An extra minute isn’t going to hurt anyone.” Elsa watched Anna’s face as she combed stray hairs back behind Anna’s ear. “I don’t want you leaving this place thinking you have to shoulder everything you came in with. It’s okay to leave some of it here, here with me, if that helps.” She smiled, her eyes wet. “It’s my job to make you feel comfortable, relaxed. But <em>I</em> also want you to feel that way, as Elsa, as me. I think you have a lot going on, and I want to help with that if… if you’ll let me.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>This time Anna closed her eyes, overwhelmed again. Unconsciously she leaned more into Elsa’s touch, which was enough for Elsa to continue. “You don’t have to decide today. Just know that I’m here for you, if you need me. But for now just,” and she shrugged, the motion taking Anna’s head with her, causing them both to laugh, “leave the timer be. It’ll take care of itself.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They stayed like that. The timer silenced itself, and with the quiet came rest. Anna knew she didn’t fall asleep, but she thought she might when Elsa started playing with her hair again. Eventually, Anna knew she had to go and rolled over, sliding her shoes back on her feet. She heard Elsa do the same as Anna gathered her things.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Should I expect another call?” Anna turned, shouldering her bag. Elsa sat on the edge of the bed, hands folded in her lap, expectant.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Though she knew her cheeks were already blotchy from tears, Anna felt another emotion color her face, and instead of feathers in her chest there were butterflies in her stomach.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Yeah," she returned, putting a hand on the back of her neck. "But I think I'm going to have to do some thinking first, again. Which I'm sure you already expected."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Maybe a little." Elsa tilted her head, never losing her warmth. "But take all the time you need. And talk to others, too. Kristoff seems like a good place to start, if you haven't already."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna snorted, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. "Oh don't worry, I'm sure he's left three voicemails by now wondering how this all went."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"And how did it go?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna beamed. “Better.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Such glowing praise,” Elsa teased. “I’ll take it I suppose.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anna took a step back, towards the door, then hesitated, and turned back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"More to say?" Elsa asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Um..." Anna paused, then blushed again. "Actually, I did, but now I can't really find the words. It was ‘thank you’, again, but then there was other stuff and it got a little lost."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Elsa hummed at that, propping her chin up in her hand. "Knowing you, even for a short time, I'm sure they'll work themselves out eventually. Probably with hand motions."</p>
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  <p>Anna laughed and agreed. "Probably with hand motions. And maybe sound effects."</p>
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  <p>“You'll have to tell me,” Elsa smiled lightly, showing bright in her eyes. “Next time?”</p>
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  <p>Anna smiled back. “Next time.”</p>
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